Who is a Friend?

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This question often crosses my mind. What is a friend? 

The word ‘friend’ undergoes a whole new meaning at different stages of your life, it is like an ever-evolving term that keeps getting redefined based on your level of consciousness. 

When I was in school, friendship was about playing together, going to each other’s houses, studying together and so on. We all had a 'best friend'. The same thing gets extended to college as well - sometimes, you succumb to peer pressure and end up doing things simply to ‘fit’ in, but they might not be ‘real’ friendship. 

(I am not denying that some of us might be fortunate enough to have childhood friends who are absolute gems). 

In your 20s you might have a new set of friends, as you explore new avenues - take up a job or go for higher studies, you find someone in your work place you share common interests, hobbies with and so on. In your 20s sometimes you also realise that the ones you were hanging around with in your college are still stuck in that phase and haven’t evolved or grown past that stage, that disconnects you from them. 

But there is a time in your life, mostly in your late-20s and early 30s when you yearn for ‘real friendship’. You are done with the pretentious talk, with the gossip, with the small talk, you want a real connection. 

The kind where you are free to share about your demons, who won’t run away seeing your shadow self, your dark side that is generally hiding under layers of the ‘good side’. A friend is the one with whom you can share ‘the real you’with, the truth about “how are you actually doing deep down,” who's interested in knowing about “how is your inner gardening going?” A friend is someone who can lend a listening ear and not simply engage in small talk or gossip.  

I have met such precious people in my life in spaces that encourage being vulnerable, that compels you to dive deep into your inner landscape and guide you to find the ‘pearl’ hidden within each one of us. These are soul connections, your soul sisters or brothers with who you are free to talk about your ‘inner gardening’.  

What do you think about this? Have you found a ‘real friend’ yet? We would love to hear from you, like always. :)