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Hey ,
Hope all's well and flowing at your end. Here's something that has been eating me inside for a while now. If you aren't aware of love languages, it's basically about how people display or are receptive to love in different ways, here's an article that can help you catch up on it while here's a member article on love languages for children.
So now that you have an understanding of what love languages are, here's something that has been bothering me. What if your partner is stuck in an emotional turmoil or in a state of trauma or a mode of survival that stems from a childhood trauma, that does not allow him or her to even recognize what love is any more?
No love seems to be going through the wall they have built around themselves for self-preservation, or the mode they are operating from does not allow them to see acts of love. Something so simple as cooking a meal for them or cleaning the washroom they use, even a pleasant touch or a hug. Nothing is appreciated or reciprocated, there are no words of kindness or love.
Sadly a person is stuck in this loop until they recognize that they are hurting and begin to work on themselves. Till this happens their unhealed parts manifest in multiple ways, their outlook on life itself turns into something that feels like the world is against them, they do not appreciate the good in their life or are overtly focused on the negatives and the lacking, they are easily triggered and frequently unleash their anger on those around them.
The lack of inner stability casts a shadow on their perspective, they choose to operate from the comfort of their survival mode tactics rather than move into a thrive mode. To the ones who recognize that these patterns are how they exist, do understand that the healing is difficult. It's honestly very difficult, and you can have breakdowns and pauses in between, but you have to be dedicated to the process.
To the ones who are on the receiving end of being in an unhealed relationship, thank you for being there, may you see where the negative experiences stem from and have the strength to keep your love communications on.
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