Exploring Confusion, Memory and Identity Loss and Other Odd Symptoms of Awakening

The result of our growing awareness and rise of consciousness is a complete overhaul to our “identity” (or what we had come to think was our identity). For anyone who is completely submerged in their awakening process, the person they knew themselves to be 5 or 10 years ago is vastly different from the person they are today.

Although most people can say that who they are at 30 is different than who they were at 20 years old, this evolution of identity is something that takes on much deeper implications for the awakening soul. Those awakening in consciousness will feel something quite a bit more jarring to their psyche than just “I got a lot calmer (nicer, less judgmental, respectful, etc..) as I aged.”

When one begins to completely integrate their entire idea of who they thought they were only to replace it with a sea of “nothingness”, describing it as a simple shift of perspective does it no justice.

The process of integrating our egoic attachments to identity, physical reality/material possessions, and judgments is one that can be not only confusing but quite frightening especially if our awakening process has spontaneously ignited and our rise of frequency has happened at a swift rate.

Due to this rapid rise of consciousness and unraveling of attachments and beliefs, many of those awakening are beginning to feel the side effects of a shift in vibration. These side effects include, but are not limited to, confusion, memory loss, brain fog, feeling ‘out of time’, and feeling disconnected from physical reality.

A normal part of the shift

“When I’m feeling confused by my awakening process, that usually means I’m on the right track.” ~ Samiyam

Although while these huge shifts in our consciousness are happening they can be quite unnerving to our state of being, it is important to know that feeling “out of it” is a completely normal part of awakening. In fact, to feel confused is actually a good sign that things are on the right track.


If we think of how an ego is formed over the years we see a character who is defined by reference points or also known as, perspectives. A person rooted in their ego will have lots of points of perception that they hold on to like objects in their hand. They define themselves by the opinions and perspectives they have attached themselves to over time.

These perspectives begin to become our sense of self, who we think we “are.” As consciousness begins to expand these reference points begin to unravel as a result. These attachments to identity that were once the guideposts of our behavior begin to heal and disappear. This is not a comfortable feeling at first.

In fact, it can feel almost terrifying at times to have no idea who we “are” anymore. Also, our ego sees the inner stillness that is our natural state of being as the evidence of it’s impending doom, and will fight it as a result. For some, the awakening consciousness within them can almost feel like death is looming over their still intact ego.

However, as we begin to settle into our new state of being, this confused state of mind is replaced by an overall sense of stillness, blankness or emptiness. Over time the ego begins to feel safer and safer to enter the space of “no-mind”, no thought or silence.

“Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who you are not.” ~ Deepak Chopra

No concept of time

As we start to become more rooted in the present moment reality, vs in our head thinking about the past or anticipating the future, we experience another awakening symptom that feels very new to our being, losing a sense of time.

It may feel as though hours have passed when only a few minutes have, or it may feel as though no time has passed when really hours have, but either way, it will feel strange at first. To be more rooted in the present moment gives the intact ego a sense of fear because it is used to a constant analysis of past, present or future running through our mind at all times. When that dialogue begins to fall away the ego feels vulnerable and afraid to not be keeping a constant ‘watch’ over things.

Again, this is another symptom that the ego will get used to over time. As the ego unravels further, and begins to trust the growing awareness, it begins to feel safer to let it’s guard down and be present.

Memory Loss/Brain Fog

Our body is actually going through a process of healing cellular debris or memories that were stored in the cells of our body. As these repressed memories and pent up emotions begin to integrate into the light of our being, a number of things can happen.

You may have a flash of a memory that you have no idea how it came to your mind, or even remember memories of another lifetime that doesn’t feel like your present one. Soon after memories have healed and we become more rooted in the present moment, you may begin to find it hard to remember things at all.

The huge energetic shifts and healing our bodies are undergoing may have us feeling completely out of sorts, tired, foggy, or like a completely new person. This is all completely normal.

You are not in charge

“People are always like ‘are you a morning or a night person’ and I’m like, ‘buddy I’m barely even a person.'” ~ Unknown

Contrary to what many believe, we are not in charge of our awakening process, we are the one experiencing it. It is a shift that is happening automatically and we cannot rush it along no matter how much we try. To know this one fact is a huge relief because it means that we are not to blame for the things we are going through that don’t feel good, we can simply observe them as just aspect of integrating our ego.

Our body is shifting. It is healing, energetically, and we are switching from mind to heart centered consciousness. It is a process that we can’t force, but we can nurture ourselves through by taking time to rest if we are tired, eating food that feels nourishing, drinking lots of water, meditating, and above all else trusting the process.

Image Sources:

Art by Cameron Gray

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Nikki Sapp
Nikki Sapp
After a synchronistic turn of events led her to receive a "oneness blessing" in 2011, Nikki Sapp experienced a huge shift in her awareness and an awakening of her consciousness. Thus started her spiritual journey. As time transpired, it became apparent to her that her talent for writing and communication would be how she could give back to humanity and help others who were also experiencing a spiritual awakening. Guided by love and service, she allows her body to be the vehicle by which the universe speaks to others through her writing.


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