Why We get Stuck in Self-Sabotage & How to Overcome it

“Hard work is not the path to well-being. Feeling good is the path to well-being. You don’t create through action, you create through vibration. And then, your vibration calls action from you.” ~ Abraham-Hicks

So many of us know exactly what we need to do in our lives in order to be successful and move forward. We’ve all read self-help books, listened to spiritual teachings, meditated, and done energy work.

The advice is generally the same everywhere we look. “Let go of fear, think positive, expect good results, give to others, take the necessary action…” And while we can hear this advice over and over again, some of us still hit that point where we feel stuck.

It’s like we know exactly the action we need to take, the one that will get the ball rolling on moving our life towards becoming the person we envision in our minds, yet something stops us. At this point, a cycle gets created.

We read, meditate, do energy work, and get ourselves really “prepared” and pumped up to make that change in our lives that we know we need to make, and when it comes to the time to finally do it, we just don’t.

Then we begin to feel bad about ourselves and beat ourselves up for not having enough motivation, ambition or will-power.

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This whole merry-go-round of getting ourselves “prepared” by devouring more information, trying to implement it, and then sabotaging our success by either not doing it, or beating ourselves up if we do try it and it doesn’t bring us the results we were hoping for in the amount of time we thought they would happen in, can last months or even years for some people.

So how do we fix this? How do we get ourselves to the point that we easily and naturally make choices that are in complete alignment with our soul’s deepest desires and alignment with the healthiest version of our own selves that we all long to become?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

self-sabotaging“When I feel better, I’m going to (insert goal here),” we often think to ourselves. “I’m going to finally start eating healthier, I’m going to quit my job that I hate, I’m going to take that vacation or start a new hobby,” are things that we often promise to do when we “feel” better.

But perhaps we’ve got it backwards. When we wait for the time to “feel” better before we take the action that we feel is what will bring more happiness to us, we immerse ourselves in a self-improvement catch-22 of sorts.

We don’t feel good because we aren’t making decisions that we can admire and be proud of, and we don’t make decisions that we are proud of because we don’t feel good. This is what it means to be stuck.

However, when we constantly feel bad about not making decisions that are more in alignment with the person we long to be, we actually ensure that we will keep making those decisions.

Feeling bad or disappointed in ourselves actually lowers our vibration to a point that we actually are only able to access actions and decisions that resonate with our vibration.

So it’s not that we are doing “bad” or making bad decisions because we are unmotivated or unambitious, it’s that we are not even able to access higher vibratory decisions because our vibration doesn’t match those choices.

Point being, feel good, and only focus on feeling good… no matter what. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, if you find yourself sleeping all day, eating junk food, smoking, watching tv, start telling these things you love them.

When we love them we accept them as the “what is” of our present moment, and we no longer are feeling guilty or ashamed (which is lower vibration emotions) while we partake in them.

Pretty soon we start realizing we are being nice to ourselves, we are accepting that our reality is exactly what is supposed to be happening and we accept it. At this point something begins to shift.

We start talking to ourselves lovingly, we begin to trust that the universe is moving us along on the path we are supposed to be on no matter what is happening in our external reality and as a result, our vibration begins to get higher and higher.
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As this happens, we find that old habits and behaviors that don’t match with our new vibration drop naturally.

Through no effort of our own, higher vibratory decisions are accessed readily and easily because the lower vibration feelings and choices have completely dropped out of our energy field.

They are no longer accessible because they don’t resonate with us any longer. All our hopes and wishes for ourselves begin to manifest naturally as a by-product of just loving ourselves and being nice to ourselves, not the other way around.

What an epiphany. Just be nice to ourselves and then we can actually start to make choices that feel good because those will be the only choices available for our choosing at that vibration. If you are at the point where being nice to yourself just doesn’t feel authentic, and seems hard to do, you are not alone.

Sometimes we can be in such emotional bankruptcy that it takes a little bit of time to get our ego to believe what our true self already knows. We are amazing. We are powerful.

We are completely able to become the person we desire to be. If you are at the point where loving yourself doesn’t feel “true” or “genuine,” keep trying. Remain focused on the good things that you CAN feel proud of, even if the only thing you feel you did amazing all day was get out of bed.

It doesn’t matter, as long as we feel good about something, and stay focused on that alone, more good things to feel good about will naturally start happening.

In the video attached, spiritual teacher, Matt Kahn explains this concept more in depth. I highly recommend watching this video and implementing the techniques he speaks of. You will realize you have held the key all along to your own happiness and being your best self, you just didn’t realize it.

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Fractal Enlightenment was conceptualized in 2006 by Bhavika and Clyde, and since then, it has evolved along with us. Today we focus on Self-Awareness to help and support each one become a better version of themselves and in doing so, we hope to send ripples out to help shine some light in our world.

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Nikki Sapp
Nikki Sapp
After a synchronistic turn of events led her to receive a "oneness blessing" in 2011, Nikki Sapp experienced a huge shift in her awareness and an awakening of her consciousness. Thus started her spiritual journey. As time transpired, it became apparent to her that her talent for writing and communication would be how she could give back to humanity and help others who were also experiencing a spiritual awakening. Guided by love and service, she allows her body to be the vehicle by which the universe speaks to others through her writing.

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