How to Become Your Own “Safe Place”


Nothing in life ever stays the same; jobs change, family dynamics change, relationships change, friendships change. We are constantly being thrown into new circumstances where we are forced to adjust to new surroundings.

Whether it be moving to a different part of the country where we know no one, or meeting our new boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s families for the first time, or starting a new job, we will find ourselves in situations where we will be out of our comfort zone, at least at first.

Some people wake up out of their comfort zone and they are scared of life. They may be completely unsure of where their life is going or how they are going to pay their bills or even how to interact with people socially. We often hear people say, “find your safe place.”
And often we assume this is referring to finding a place we can call home or finding a network of friends and family that we feel comfortable enough to be around. But what if we could become our own safe place? What if nothing and no one could ever again trigger anxiety or stress because we have become so comfortable in our own skin, that we are our own biggest protector and supporter?

In order to find this place within our own being that allows to feel safe and secure in almost every circumstance, we must adopt two basic beliefs about life and the universe that will help us raise our vibration which will draw out of us an inner confidence in our own being.

The universe is benevolent


“My heart is at ease knowing that what is meant for me will never miss me, and that what misses me was never meant for me.” ~ Imam ash Shafi’i

The part of us that already knows everything, why we are here, who we really are beyond this life, therefore it always is leading us to situations and circumstances that are the very catalysts for our conscious evolution. Since it is always leading us into circumstances that are for our benefit, we can be rest assured that we are never in the “wrong place at the wrong time.”

Every decision we make is “right”, every friendship and relationship we attract is the right one, every job we lose or gain is all perfectly orchestrated by a higher intelligence that has our best interest at heart.

This does not mean we will never feel pain, or loss or heartbreak, but what it does mean is that all situations that draw out of us these exact emotions are only helping us to unravel belief systems or unhealed emotions that we were still holding on to.

In essence, every time we are brought to another tough situation or adversity, we can be assured that we have only been brought to it because we are safe enough and ready to confront these emotions and belief systems head on.

When we think of the universe in terms of a reward and punishment system we believe that there are things happening to us that either shouldn’t be there or that we could have prevented if we could have just “done better”.

12142600_1525858577737361_1535210319_nHowever, when we think of the universe as an unconditionally loving guidance system that only leads us into the next phases of internal growth by bringing us to situations that challenge us to believe in our own self regardless of what the external reality looks like, we see that we are never without a safety net.


You are the most powerful being in the universe (even if it feels like you aren’t)

When we’ve handed our power over to something, we will always feel unsafe when that thing pops up. And coincidentally enough, whatever or whoever we have handed our power over to will seem to constantly come into our lives and threaten our happiness until we finally realize that fear, darkness, negativity, (whatever you want to call it) actually has no power over you unless you have assigned it power.

Reality is being created through us, meaning there is no one set in stone reality that we are all living in, but rather we are all our own tiny universe attracting all of the things that we have given power to, only to keep showing us that we in fact are the ones that hold the power.

For example, let’s say someone has given insecurity power in their life. They will continuously find themselves in situations in which they feel insecure, until they finally realize that the big bad wolf of insecurity is only showing up so that we may be the awareness that reveals how powerless it really is.safetyimage3

There is a reason people say, “If it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.” Think of the last time your insecurity killed someone, or fear of abandonment or fear of being vulnerable.

The very fact that we are able to face these things and come out on the other side only reveals to us how powerful we really are. They are only showing up in our reality to beg for the unconditional love that only our higher wisdom and hearts can give it.

When emotions such as these are faced head on, felt, and offered love they no longer are a threat, meaning they have nothing more to teach us. And when something has nothing to teach us, we can be assured that it will have no reason to show up in our lives.

“The best gift you are ever going to give someone-permission to feel safe in their own skin, to feel worthy- to feel like they are enough.” ~ Hannah Brencher

We are all meant to be warriors in one way or another. We are here to face adversity and challenges and pain and to come out on the other side victorious. Every victory against our own perceived “enemy”, actually begins to make us more forgiving, more loving and more compassionate for all others who have still yet to find safety in their own being. The safety we carry around with us in our own hearts becomes the very gift that we give to the world.

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Unconditional love
Chaos and safety

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