Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~ Mark Twain
Anger is a prominently felt emotion in today’s time and age. Somebody is angry with the government, somebody can’t stand the public transport, someone has issues with their colleagues, and it doesn’t end here.
Someone is angry because he is not able to exert power, exercise supremacy, or can’t cope up with the brushings that life in general has to offer. We all have experienced that emotion and know that the outcome is never pleasant.
Anger is a corrosive emotion that harms your mental and physical health. Aristotle said that it is very difficult to be angry with the right person for the right reasons. Predominantly, most of us think, we are right in what we say and do.
And then many say, everything is right as long as you can justify it. A thief might be a thief because he has no other option for survival but yet he will be put behind the bars. So, when countries fight in the name of power, how is it not a moral cheating?
In Buddhism, anger is considered one of the three poisons, other two being – greed and ignorance. There is no justifiable anger. Spend time introspecting on each time you’ve felt angry and what have you done about it. As humans, we are bound to feel angry but how do we deal with it is what defines us.
When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not suppress it, run away from it, or deny it. Instead, observe it and acknowledge it. Be mindful and honest with yourself about yourself is essential to overcome this negative emotion.
Anger damages the nervous, cardiovascular and gut system. Anger, if fed, can also lead to depression.
How do you deal with it? Compassion and patience are counter-attacks to anger. Be compassionate with yourself because anger is harming you more than anybody else.
One can discover the root cause of anger and then take necessary steps, because anger is created by the mind. It arises due to unresolved issues bottled deep within and it gushes out in the form of anger.
Its also the ego taking control of your mind and allowing negativity to take over you. One needs to have the patience to wait for the right time to act and say.
As difficult as it might sound, in such situations, one has to leave it to the law of life. The prospect of retaliation seems like an appealing option. But anger is a backward-looking emotion. We think about the past and cause ourselves pain. Pain is self-inflicted in nature. And the concept of revenge is morally flawed.
We can indulge in the act of harming the injurer to seek some relief from the damage caused but in doing so; we do drag ourselves in the vicious cycle. There are numerous way to let go of the anger.
I use humour as a defence mechanism to anger. Whenever the mind goes into unwanted flashbacks, instead of being angry, breathe in and out. Take a walk. Drink some water. Trust in the law of universe and let it go.
Thich Nhat Hanh explains it beautifully, “When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that’s not true,” he said. “When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you.”
“You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward.” ~ Miguel Ruiz
In his book The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz sets down a template for achieving happiness, peace, and love within one’s lifetime. He was highly influenced by the teachings of Carlos Castaneda. In honor of them both (Don Ruiz’s wisdom and Castaneda’s ruthlessness) I have come up with four questions that don’t even need to be answered to be effective.
The answers might seem obvious, but they’re still challenging. Just thinking about them and debating them has the potential to teach us a considerable amount about ourselves and about our tolerance of others.
Here are the four questions: an inquiry into personal responsibility, based on the Four Agreements that are hard-hitting ~
1.) Is it better to be an unsatisfied free person or a satisfied slave?
“I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
The menace of the past was that men became slaves; the menace of the present is that men become puppets. But there’s a fine line between slavery and puppetry. Freedom is something you do, not something you are.
It is not a given. It takes effort, courage, and determination; usually in the face of those who would make you their slaves, or puppets. One way to guard against slavery is knowledge.
Like Frederick Douglas said, “Knowledge makes a man unfit to be a slave.”
But have no illusions, freedom is scary. It takes courage to maintain it. Sometimes it even takes going against the status quo.
Like Thoreau wrote, “Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
But it is our own responsibility, nobody else’s, to maintain our own freedom and to keep those “in power” accountable. Otherwise absolute power has free-reign to rule absolutely.
Like John Adams said, “There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.”
Answering this important question, and then being proactive with what the answer means, will help us to guard against both forms of slavery.
2.) Would you rather be apathetically indifferent or proactively responsible?
“To be one’s self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity.” ~ Irving Wallace
Being clear about this question is a matter of understanding the tug-of-war between Courage & Comfort, and that the rope is Fear. Being proactive and responsible requires being courageous about being uncomfortable.
“Twaddle, rubbish, and gossip are what people want, not action…” writes Soren Kierkegaard. “The secret of life is to chatter freely about all one wishes to do and how one is always being prevented –and then do nothing.”
This is what becomes of apathy and indifference: laziness, doing nothing.
Apathy
Lest we too become lazy, it behooves us to be proactive and responsible. Like the fourth agreement says, “Do your best.” Which is easier said than done, sure. I mean, our comfort zones are preciously small things.
But like Tim Watts hilariously put it, “Apathy and ignorance are as helpful to you as trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube with a sledgehammer.”
Don’t try to solve a Rubik’s Cube with a sledgehammer. Life is too short not to transform apathy into empathy and indifference into concern.
Like Einstein warned, “The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything.”
3.) Do you prefer the bliss of ignorance or the pain of knowledge?
“The source of Man’s unhappiness is ignorance… The way he clings to blind opinions, imbibed in his infancy, dooms him to continual error.” ~ Baron d’Holbach
Wisdom begins first with not ignoring our own ignorance, and second with being proactive about curing the ignorance. We’re always going to be ignorant about something or other. But all ignorance can be remedied by asking the right questions and consistently fine-tuning the answers in a healthy way.
But the single most difficult thing a human being can do is admit when they are ignorant, even though we all know we are. So it takes diligence and immense circumspection.
Like Kathryn Schulz wrote in On Being Wrong, “Ignorance isn’t necessarily a vacuum waiting to be filled; just as often, it is a wall, actively maintained.”
Bliss?
As it stands, we need the fortitude it takes to knock down those walls, keeping them erect just traps in parochial nonsense and stagnant traditions. But before we can tear them down we need to be aware of them.
Conscientious ignorance opens the mind. Like Naseem Nicholas Taleb wrote, “Conscious ignorance, if you can practice it, expands your world; it can make things infinite.”
If nothing else ignorance is dangerous. We become less dangerous the more we know what we’re dealing with. Whether we’re dealing with kittens or tigers, knowledge could be the difference between accidentally killing a kitten or stupidly getting killed by a tiger.
Like the great Martin Luther King once said, “Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”
4.) Would you rather be slapped with the truth or kissed with a lie?
“The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” ~ Stephen Binko
“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” – Gloria Steinem
We are kissed with lies every day, usually from corporate advertisements and corrupt politicians. But, like Rob Breszny says, “Hate hatred but don’t hate the haters.” It’s not worth bringing yourself down to their level. Like the second agreement asserts, “Don’t take anything personal.”
They have an agenda that they’ve been brainwashed into believing is necessary. If they want to kiss us with lies, then we have to slap the people who believe those lies with the truth.
Like the first agreement asserts, “Be impeccable with your word.” It won’t be easy. Not by a long shot. And it will hurt the people who bought those lies hook, line, and sinker. But the fate of the world could very well depend upon it.
In a world where the ability to lie and manipulate others is held up as the highest good, we have to be even more ruthless with the truth than usual. Just as we have to be even more cognizant of making assumptions (the third agreement).
This often means going against the status quo. But even if just one person rebels against an unhealthy untruthful order, we the people are more likely to be free to exist in a healthy truthful way.
Like Albert Camus wrote, “I rebel; therefore we exist.”
“Just as it is known that an image of one’s face is seen depending on a mirror but does not really exist as a face, so the conception of “I” exists dependent on mind and body, but like the image of a face the “I” does not exist as its own reality at all.” ~ Nagarjuna
What if I tell you that “I” doesn’t exist? What if I tell you “You” don’t exist? “You” and “I” are merely products of our mind and we are larger than these terms. This forms the basis of Nagarjuna’s philosophy – one of the most important Buddhist philosophers after the Buddha.
Nagarjuna lived during 150-250 AD, and is the founder of the Madhyamika philosophy (Middle-way philosophy), which is based primarily upon Nagarjuna’s commentary on the Prajnaparamita-sutras. The original sutras in Sanskrit were lost but the Tibetan and Chinese translations remain.
Nagarjuna’s texts are an essential part of the Indian philosophy and are of extreme significance to the Buddhist school of thought. It’s believed that after the death of the Nagarjuna, a group of people elaborated on his texts and continued to write in the name of the Nagarjuna.
The most important concept that surfaces from Madhyamika Philosophy is the concept of Sunyata or Emptiness. According to Nagarjuna, ignorance is the root cause of suffering and “Sunyata” is the remedy for that suffering. Excerpts from Nagarjuna’s text:
“Born from the conditions – attraction, repulsion and error – attachment, aversion and delusion originate. Therefore, attachment, aversion and delusion are non-existent in their intrinsic being.”
This implies that beings and things have no intrinsic existence in themselves. All phenomena (form and mind) come into being because of conditions created by other phenomena. Thus, they have no existence of their own and are empty of a permanent self. We mistake the relative for the absolute.
This misunderstanding of absoluteness is evident with regard to our own selves. We take our conditioned existence as unconditioned and self-existent, giving rise to a false sense of “I”. All the conditioned thoughts are empty thoughts because in the larger scheme of universe they do not have an inherent existence, for example, ego, pride, superior, inferior etc.
When one realises that they are beyond the conditioned and unconditioned, one becomes free from all the qualifications and distinctions. The realisation of sunyata leads one to no attachment and clinging. It is the skilful means towards enlightenment.
Nothing is absolute. The streams of the river dislocate the stones. The shiny pebbles at the seashore were gigantic rocks once, and that’s the beauty of life ultimately. We all are on a journey to nothingness. Because we cling to them as if they were lasting and substantial, suffering becomes the inescapable outcome. The idea is to not cling but live and ignorance of this knowledge causes suffering.
“Words, concepts, are in themselves pure; what makes the difference is the way in which we use them.” ~ Ramanan
Nagarjuna in his four noble truth theory explained that there is an end to this suffering. We are aware of the unconditioned reality, the truth, and hence we should seek to liberate ourselves from the continuous chain of thoughts that keep us in this vicious cycle.
Liberate our soul from the expectations and manipulations of our mind. If you think about ignorance, it is the knowledge that we take for granted. And, hence, the false conscious seduces us. Due to which we take things like ego seriously.
One who has faith, who diligently seeks the ultimate, not relying upon any demonstrated factor, inclined to subject the way of the world to reason, abandoning being and non-being (attains) peace.
“Nothing is more creative than death, since it is the whole secret of life. It means that the past must be abandoned, that the unknown cannot be avoided, that ‘I’ cannot continue, and that nothing can be ultimately fixed. When a man knows this, he lives for the first time in his life. By holding his breath, he loses it. By letting go he finds it.” ~ Alan Watts
There is such a thing as a beautiful death. A larva goes to sleep and awakens as a ladybug. A grub spins a black carapace before becoming a honeybee. A caterpillar weaves a silken cocoon where it transforms into a butterfly. Similarly, we fall asleep, we die in our dreams, and we are reborn upon awakening.
Love & Death
Life and death are not opposite forces. On the contrary, they are two distinct ways of perceiving the same force. Or, contrastingly, as Epicurus was believed to have said, “Death is nothing to us, since when we exist, death is not present to us, and when death is present, we have no existence.”
According to Sigmund Freud, humans have a life instinct, which he named “Eros.” But Freud thought that the sex drive was the primary repression issue regarding the human condition not the death drive.
Ernest Becker corrected Freud’s dogmatic rigidness with sexuality by pointing out that, “Man’s body was a curse of fate, and culture was built upon repression –not because man was a seeker of sexuality, of pleasure, of life and expansiveness, as Freud thought, but because man was also primarily an avoider of death. Consciousness of death is the primary repression, not sexuality.” He thereby refined “the death drive,” which was coined as “Thanatos” by Herbert Marcuse years earlier.
But Thanatos can actually motivate and activate Eros. Death is like compost. Contemplating death is like compost for the soul. Just as compost helps cultivate a healthy garden, contemplation of death encourages a healthy vigorous soul.
We are more likely to be proactive life-affirmers and life-achievers, rather than inactive victims of life, when we take death into consideration and meditate on it.
Those of us who meditate regularly are familiar with that translucent coalescence that occurs between life-affirming energy and death-defining vitality; especially while meditating on the crown and third-eye chakras, where time and space, life and death, finitude and the infinite, all combine to reveal the awesome interconnectedness of all things.
If we practice meditation long enough we discover that the birth-death-rebirth cycle applies not only to a lifetime, but to each moment, from moment to moment. A new self constantly emerges. In fact, a new self emerges every second of everyday.
Thanatos
Carpe puctum leads to carpe diem leads to carpe vita with each breath. With each inhalation we are born. With each exhalation we die. And within the next breath we are reborn again. When we let go of what we are, we become what we might be. When we let go of what we might be, we become what we are.
Like Alan Watts ingeniously opined, “The movement in which I am a pattern or convolution began incalculable ages before the (conventional isolated) event called birth, and will continue long after the event called death. Only words and conventions can isolate us from the entirely undefinable something which is everything.”
Indeed, learning that we die over and over again is learning how to truly live.
But we cannot achieve authentic engagement with our lives by acting out the conditioned reflexes of hand-me-down traditions. No, we achieve it by undergoing a process of discovery that requires a different kind of death, a letting go, a psychosocial death of the comfortable and the familiar.
Eros & Thanatos Embracing
And then a rebirth, a passionate delving into the Abyss of the Self: with its orgies of pain, its orneriness of angst, and the certain defeat of our expectations.
Like Simone De Beauvoir wrote, “Man lives within the transitory or not at all. He must regard his undertakings as finite and will them absolutely.” It is in the transitory, in the fleeting moments and ephemeral seconds, where we are most truly human.
The Life-death-rebirth metamorphosis only seems complicated because we are stuck in a way of thinking that we’ve inherited from our language, culture, and environment.
But once we become more aware that change is inevitable, we realize that it isn’t as complicated as we imagined it would be. Life goes on. The process continues. The life-death-rebirth process cycles through every moment.
Change is absolute, but its beauty is in vicissitude, in the ups and downs, within the immanent quality of being in awe of not knowing what will happen next in our lives.
Like Laurence Gonzales wrote in Surviving Survival “The true transformation in the journey comes when you see the amazing beauty of the place in which you are trapped. This is the vision of the vision quest. You embrace the pain, discard your concerns about death, and then the world opens up to you.”
We’re all “trapped.” None of us chose to be born. None of us chose the hands we were dealt. Or if we did, we have forgotten that we did. And that’s okay. That’s the beauty of it. When we embrace the pain of life, the pain is assuaged.
When we contemplate the dread of death, the dread dissipates and death is cast-off. When the boundaries of the self are blurred, death becomes less of a full stop and more of an ellipsis. Then the entire cosmos opens up to us, merges with us, becomes us.
And so Thanatos defines Eros, and through their embrace our own truly authentic engagement with life becomes a possibility.
“Like they say in Zen, when you attain Satori, nothing is left for you in that moment than to have a good laugh.” ~ Alan Watts
The title of this article is a koan attributed to a 1st century Zen Master named Linji Yixuan. It’s obviously not meant to be taken literally, since killing is wrong. It’s a koan with shock-value, meant to jar us awake, a tool meant for self-exploration and self-interrogation. In this article we will attempt to dissect this curious koan and try to bring some clarity to it so that we can use it as a tool toward our own self-development.
The “road” is generally meant to symbolize the path to enlightenment. But it could also be interpreted as our own personal path, or even something as simple as the direction our life is going. The “Buddha” we meet on the path is our idealized image of perfection, whatever that might be.
It’s our conception of what absolute enlightenment would look like. One could argue that the Buddha on the path is us, or at least our projection onto the world about what it means to be Buddha. But, and here’s the rub, whatever our conception of the Buddha is, it’s wrong!
Like it says in the opening of the Tao Te Ching, “The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao.” What we’re “killing” is the idea that enlightenment is achievable. If we believe we have achieved enlightenment then we need to “kill” that belief and keep meditating. This is because there is no permanence. Permanence is an illusion. Everything is constantly changing.
Travel Well
Even if we think we have all the answers, those “answers” must still be questioned. This is the urgency inherent within the koan. A true master “achieves” enlightenment, “kills” it, and then keeps meditating. He or she does so in order to keep learning, to keep enlightening. Indeed, to reinforce the journey truly being the thing.
Every master knows that we are all Buddha disguised as the Self. We are all God in hiding. It’s just that some of us are playing the victim and some of us are free.
Like Alan Watts asked, “Do you define yourself as a victim of the world, or as the world?”
Most of us are walking tragedies, suffering in a cruel world. We all experience pain. We all have scars. But true masters flip the tables on tragedy and choose comedy instead, thus completely altering the power dynamic.
They choose happiness without reason. They choose laughter and joy over anger and spite. They honor their scars rather than resent them. They choose dancing rather than depression.
And this is precisely where the Fool and the Sage merge, where humor and wisdom coalesce. Up until the point we meet “Buddha on the road” we are victims of the world, but once we “kill” the Buddha we become the world. We become sacred clowns.
We become holy fools, with the power to keep the journey going despite wounds or set-backs or even enlightenment itself! This is the wisdom of the Fool/Sage –to fail (or succeed), to let go, to have a good laugh, and then to start all over again with our wisdom in tow.
“You must change in order to find your truest self,” writes Bradford Keeney in The Bushman’s Way of Tracking God. “And keep changing. The false idol is any form that hangs around too long and gets fossilized. It’s worth considering that if your ideas of God don’t change, then your ideas are dead. God is not dead. He simply went elsewhere because you were too boring.” Yes! God is us. Buddha is us.
This sacred energy is hiding inside us because we have been too boring. We need to shake ourselves awake. The world is not a frozen thought, but a dynamic feeling, a heroic expression, a comic guffaw.
Our bones are too serious inside us. Even our funny bone is serious. We need to loosen up. Let’s not be serious, let’s just be sincere. Shake up your bones. Unloosen the straightjacket that society has strapped around your soul. Let’s hone ourselves into instruments that are sharp enough to cut God. And then let’s have a healthy enough sense of humor to laugh about it afterwards…
…Imagine you are a clown walking down the path toward sacred clownhood. You encounter me standing on one leg. You approach me to get a better look. I am trickster-fabulous with my coyote-throat and crow-tongue, with my Thunderbird wings and smoking-mirror skin. I am whispering unspoken truths to power when you draw near. You ask me my name and I open my moon-eye, keeping my sun-eye closed.
“I am Jester Guru,” I say, laughing and bouncing from foot to foot. “I am Slapstick Soothsayer. I am Wag & Sage. I am Blessed Buffoon. I am Charlatan Shaman. I am the Fool’s Philosopher. I am Prankster Pope. I am Mystic Muppet. I am Elder Funnyman. I AM THE HEYOKA WHO BEFUDDLES ALL HEYOKAS! I am the all singing all dancing Juggernaut Oracle, and I’m here to inform you that you have finally arrived.”
Anger is a corrosive emotion that harms your mental and physical health. Aristotle said that it is very difficult to be angry with the right person for the right reasons. Predominantly, most of us think, we are right in what we say and do.
