“The greatest lessons in life, if we would but pause and humble ourselves, are not gleaned from the erudite adults, but from the so-called ‘ignorant’ children.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Child-like innocence is such a gratifying quality that children ‘naturally’ possess. Several poets, authors, and philosophers honor this quality – it exudes purity and solace – a piece of inspiration.
It is something that adults yearn for, and I feel that the ones who still retain that childlike innocence and curiosity are generally people who work with children – teachers, educators, parents (perhaps).
What saddens me or, rather, prompted me to write this piece is the growing evidence that this childlike innocence is disappearing at an early age. My heart bleeds to see a 5-year-old and 8-year-old talk about world matters, showing the middle finger, spewing abusive words, playing games on a device, being manipulative, and so on. This seems to have a toll on the child turning them into young adults even before hitting puberty.
Instead, children should be so immersed in play that it becomes a way of expressing their innermost feelings and processing their day’s experiences and events. Many parents, nowadays, want their children to grow up too soon. Society advocates such kind of an upbringing. What are the consequences of this? The child ends up growing intellectually, and somewhere, innocence is lost or repressed.
Why do we want our children to grow fast? How was it for you when you were growing up? Did you spend a lot of time outdoors or in front of the TV?
“Slow down childhood…It takes a lot of slow to grow.” ~ Unknown
Reasons for losing innocence
This can be attributed to myriad reasons – overconsumption of all kinds – media, food, information, products, or clothes – it’s all fast-moving, it’s all on your face, and we want it attitude is encouraged.
Just at the click of a button, we can get anything and everything to our doorstep; all we have to do is just collect it. It is all too easy, there are choices galore for every aspect of our lives – from education to social media, or from the kind of transport you want to the kind of food you wish to eat.
This makes the dotcom generation feel more connected in the virtual world and less connected with their reality. They are losing the capacity to connect with other individuals because they spending more time on screens than outdoors.
Even the food we eat, we are all aware of the kind of food children are consuming. We are what we eat. If the child is too dependent on processed foods, sugar, and soda, it affects them physically, developmentally, and psychologically.
Our busy lifestyle to climb up the ladder of material success sometimes deprives us of having a real connection. When your children see you, what do they see? Are you on a device? Do you remember the time you saw your grandmother knit or stitch, cook or garden, sing, and bake you something special? What are you as the parent teaching your child?
How can we as parents or caregivers or guardians protect this innocence? Here are 6 ways to save or keep your child innocent in a digital age ~
Keep the wonder alive
“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
~ Albert Einstein
This is the one thing that will always stay with the child even when he grows up. A 3 or 4-year-old has developed this newfound curiosity in the world around him: “Why is it like this? “Why do we do this? How does this work?”
Rather than intellectualizing the answers, provide an answer that is satisfying and keeps the awe and wonder alive. When we give ready-made answers to the child, it becomes their truth, which leaves little or no room for further imagination to take place. When the learning journey caters to the curiosity of the child, it sparks their imagination and creativity.
Imagine if the child just asks Google for their answers at that age. What would the outcome be in such a situation?
Spend time in nature
“Restore balance. Most kids have technology, school, and extracurricular activities covered. It’s time to add a pinch of adventure, a sprinkle of sunshine, and a big handful of outdoor play.” ~ Penny Whitehouse.
The solution to many problems in life lies in spending sufficient time in nature. As I have always said, Nature heals, like Shinrin Yoku has immense healing benefits. Children feel at home outdoors; the vastness, greenery, trees, wind, sunlight, and fresh air work on the child’s overall health. Not only children but adults too feel revitalized after spending time outdoors..
We often climb the nearby hill with our children on weekends, and it is a wonderful time to bond with them and reconnect with nature’s elements. Even the most energetic, difficult-to-handle, or misbehaved child is at ease when taken out in nature.
The elements of nature work on the psychological and physical well-being of children. Research proves that children who actively interact with nature are likely to have a better quality of life and tend to live longer. It boosts their cognitive development, team-building skills, and independence; relieves anxiety and depression; improves memory and ability to concentrate; and improves familial and social-relational skills, self-management, and self-esteem.
The later, the better
“Childhood is not a race to see how quickly a child can read, write, and count. It is a small window of time to learn and develop at the pace that is right for each child. Earlier is not better.” ~ Magda Gerber.
My daughter and I go to the garden every morning to play, and several passersby say Hello, and ask me, “Is she going to school?”, I say, “Not yet,” and they give me a surprised look and say, “But isn’t she 3 already?” and I say, “I am not in a hurry to put her in a school.”
The modern-day trend is to put the child in school the moment she starts walking around; even if the child hasn’t quite developed their speech, they are rushed to a play group. This prevents the child from spending time at home, takes away his play time, and can also lead to insecurity.
A study led by the University of Exeter Medical School found that starting school young can put a child’s well-being at risk. Children starting school at an older age consistently exhibit better educational outcomes.
A young child who is still dependent on the parents/caregivers feels nourished in a warm, secure environment and needs the touch and care of his parents to grow healthily. If the child’s environment is filled with anxiety, worry, stress, competition, and too many instructions, it reflects on the well-being of the child.
“You cannot make people learn. You can only provide the right conditions for learning to happen.” ~ Vince Gowmon
According to Rudolf Steiner, 0 to 7 years of age is when the life forces of the child are focused on the physical development of the child. by pushing academics and intellectual learning too early, drags the life forces from working on physical development to mental stimulation.
“When what we introduce into the children’s world of ideas and feelings is in line with the direction of the developmental forces of a given stage of life, we strengthen the entire developing person in a way that remains a source of strength throughout that person’s life.” ~ Rudolf Steiner
Minimalism rules
Less is always more, especially in times like these when there is a gamut of everything all around, easily available. Minimalism is the need of the hour, to teach children to mend their torn pants instead of purchasing a new one (of course, young children will not sew, but the adult can mend it for them). It’s not just stopping buying things altogether, but making a wise choice of what is required and what is not.
As adults, we have to make the conscious choice to chip away the unnecessary distractions – for example, go climb a hill instead of going to a mall, and bake a cake together instead of simply ordering it online. Support your local farmers and not big MNCs, eat simple home-cooked meals – these are small changes in our daily lives that can make a profound impact on our children. Most importantly, practice what you preach.
Play, play, and more play
“If children played all their childhood (I mean it), they would be ready for life. They would be emotionally strong (providing no other damage has been done) and would have all the basic skills to handle life. Our anxiety for children to know certain things at specific ages is an enormous obstacle to trusting and allowing their natural development. When children play, they are the only qualified authors of this magical process. It is rarely too late to acquire knowledge, but often it is dangerously too early and out of harmony with the internal journey of the child.” ~ Naomi Aldort
Young children learn through play. They engage in play in a distinctly personal manner, shaped by their configurations of spirit and soul, as well as unique experiences within their environment.
It is the responsibility of the adults to cultivate an environment that fosters the potential for healthy play. More outdoor time, more play time in the sun and mud, and healthy play materials that nurture the senses – like pinecones, pebbles, mud, trees, cotton drapes, silk, and sustainable toys instead of plastic.
Play is not only an end in itself but a necessary precursor to the later development of intellectual and other capacities
This keeps their innocence intact, as the child is allowed to be, to connect with their surroundings, to connect with nature, and not rushed into developing their intellectual capacities too soon.
A dash of mindfulness and intuition…
Being mindful on your parenting journey establishes a strong foundation for your child. The more mindful you are in terms of play, food, media, consumption, rest, and daily rhythms, the healthier your child is likely to be.
Each child is different, there cannot be a single formula that fits all. Always remember that you know your child better than anyone else, and when you are aligned with that truth, the process of raising children becomes a fulfilling experience.
Mothers are naturally intuitive. Listen to your intuition, that inner voice that tells you this will not work out or this is a better choice for your child. By tuning into your inner guidance rather than external opinions, you can more effectively address your child’s needs. Here are 5 ways to tune into the power of your intuition.
When the child’s needs are met, many common childhood challenges and difficulties can be alleviated, helping to preserve their innocence.
See the world with the innocence of children.
Approach the world with the daring of children.
Love the world with the readiness of children.
Heal the world with the purity of children.
Change the world with the wisdom of children.
~ Neale Donald Walsch
To sum up the importance of preserving childhood innocence, here’s a heartwarming poem by Rabindranth Tagore. Tagore explores the contrast between the simple joy of a child’s play and the adult’s pursuit of material wealth.
Child, how happy you are sitting in the dust, playing with a broken twig all the morning.
I smile at your play with that little bit of a broken twig.
I am busy with my accounts, adding up figures by the hour.
Perhaps you glance at me and think, “What a stupid game to spoil your morning with!”
Child, I have forgotten the art of being absorbed in sticks and mud-pies.
I seek out costly playthings and gather lumps of gold and silver.
With whatever you find you create your glad games, I spend both my time and my strength over things I never can obtain.
In my frail canoe, I struggle to cross the sea of desire and forget that I too am playing a game.
References
The Role of Interaction with Nature in Childhood Development
Starting school young can put child wellbeing at risk
The effect of school starting age on health, education, and work
Image source
Children playing
