“If your value depends on productivity, you will never be able to feel value.” ~ Teal Swan
Convincing others that we are enough, only to not be convinced ourselves. The ever present fight for productivity, knowledge or balance is to fight a losing battle.
The thing that might lead to all spiritual experiences experienced in a life are triggered, not by the place arrived in, the influences from others, nor will it be entirely to do with meditation or the practice of it, although that helps. What starts us off on those few beautiful journeys is the uprooting and acceptance of our core beliefs and how everything in our lives relates to them.
Don’t agree? Our core beliefs directly relate to our shadows, and the conditioning that has been put upon us from birth; beliefs given to us from our parents, teachers, and society as a whole.
They may seem overwhelmingly prevalent or hard to discover, but the more you whittle them down you will probably find that they relate to one or two core beliefs that your subconscious mind holds dear.
Not only that, but they are similar if not the same as most other people’s. Uprooting our core beliefs can inspire compassion for each other as well as help us to accept our shadow selves and the areas of the self we are suppressing.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part yourself. What isn’t part ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~ Hermann Hesse
An irritation that crosses your path in your daily life or something that has always annoyed you about others crops up. Let’s take a simple example. Someone – a flatmate or neighbour is always knocking on your door or coming in your room and it makes you tired.
So from a statement like ‘They’re making me tired,’ (as the complaint is usually directed outside at the other) we can then use a few simple sentences to have a dialogue with ourselves. What does that mean to you?
That I can’t get the stuff I want to do done. And why is that bad for you? Because it makes me resent them. And what does that mean for you? That I’m the one who is angry and has to suffer for it. So why is that bad?
Because that makes me feel like the fool. And what does that mean to you? That I’m making a mistake/failing. And why is that bad? Because I shouldn’t be failing. So what does that mean to you? That I’m not good enough.
Another example. Someone who almost died from an illness when they were a child and should feel lucky to be alive. I hurt my friend’s feelings. And why is that bad? Because I should be sensitive to his feelings. So what does that mean to you?
That I haven’t learnt the lesson I should have and what happened to me happened for no reason. And why is that bad. Because perhaps I deserved it/it was punishment and God deserted me. And so what does that mean to you? That I am bad, I’m a bad person who has bad experiences.
Using any irritation or problem throughout the day can be whittled down to these basic core beliefs in your head as you go about your day.
Unlike meditation (although best done alongside meditation) this gives you a better grasp of knowing when to just let go and when to uproot these things, as letting go and dissolving stuff is not always the way to leave it behind forever. Dissolving doesn’t always work.
Sometimes you’ll need to examine a reoccurring thought or niggle, uproot it, and then as Buddha suggests on how to deal with disturbing thoughts you can replace the core belief with a positive one. In the example I’m not good enough would become I am enough. With any to do with fear, they would become I am safe or I accept myself… the list goes on.
As with all ‘positive thinking’ however, you really need to completely uproot your shadow side, explore your suppressed self, and also learn to accept those aspects of yourself. Love them like a child and recognize that they might never entirely go away. Rather than trying to push it away, embrace and make friends with it. I am enough is transformative as it affirms that just being alive; your existence is enough and anything you do beyond that is a bonus really. Pretty great huh?
Sitting down and exploring these core beliefs can do amazing things for us; we can rewire our brains and free up space for us to do the things we want to be doing. We are able to heal our inner child and gain maturity and real perspective in our relationships with others.