“The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don’t tell you what to see.” ~ Alexandra K.Trenfor
There comes a time when we reach a level of awareness – about our selves and others – when we are able to function with love and security, slowly working on ourselves as we move towards the light. There may still be bad days, but all in all we will have dealt with the stealthiest parts of our shadows and are simply working towards being a ray of light for others; an example to follow.
With this comes great responsibility – perhaps the reason why many are avoiding it! – but this is where our true selves shine out. We become a teacher. Not a preacher. The ego preaches. The ego wants to tell everyone else that they are right and you are wrong. A teacher doesn’t need to do this. They have solved the problem of themselves and are simply existing, enjoying the experience of being alive.
If you are already moving into that space, here are three ways you can increase your light and help those around you without preaching.
Give someone the benefit of the doubt
In social interaction, those who are fragile and who have not experienced a wealth of experience will often be confident, but also judgmental. The preacher wants to show everyone – look! This person doesn’t have what I have. This person has got it all wrong.
They hide a fragile ego who was taught that there is right and wrong rather than degrees of experience. Since many people were taught this, many people suffer from this judgmental way of interacting and it can be difficult not to get sucked into it yourself, if only to save yourself from being the target. This is clearly how bullying and pack mentality operates.
Being in your light self and having woken up to the realities of life (which is probably what drew you to read this in the first place) means that you understand that, just because someone is quiet, confused, jittery or any other number of things that means they don’t get it quite right, doesn’t mean they are weak.
Far from it, it means that they have had experiences that were challenging and have not quite yet healed from those. So, instead of joining in the cruel sideways glances disguised as moral superiority, you break the mold and include them, taking the time to talk and not interpreting their rudeness or discomfort as a snub.
Without judgment yourself of course, or without the intention to shine, you show them kindness with an open heart.
This, apart from possibly changing the object of your compassion’s life, you are also showing, not reminding others that this is the humane and kind way to treat someone who is making mistakes.
Don’t automatically match someone else’s energy
By resisting this, especially with those who feed off being able to influence other’s energy as the mask of status and dominance, your example will work wonders with everyone you come into contact with. Usually the dominant party either sets the energy bar or uses their high energy to sound out everyone else without lifting the energy of the group.
A true teacher stands outside that energy soup – not looking down their nose at it, but having the ability and loving detachment to not get involved. Rejecting a high energy but insecure person who uses their energy to dominate will help reflect back to them what they are doing and, even though they thought they were doing the right things, that there are others options.
This also helps those stuck in patterns of low energy and victim states. Often these people are despised because they do, in their stubborn forcefulness, have the ability to pull down the energy of a group, but it is a desperate if not immature cry for help that no-one answers. Ignoring them will not help them, but could put them on a downward spiral.
Instead, reject to match their energy, or negative words about their situation and selves and redirect them to more neutral but uplifting topics. The only way to completely step out of this battle for status that celebrates low vibrational human patterns, is to reject to take part and follow your own rules. People will see this and it will niggle them… in a positive outcome kind of way.
Keep your integrity doesn’t mean be solemn all the time and force yourself to go on a raw food diet so that you can claim superiority to everyone else all the time. It means love yourself enough to develop healthy and self loving habits that involve getting enough rest, eating a diet that makes you shine, and doing what you love. It really is that simple.
Of course everyone’s opinions differ. Some might see having integrity as working and doing more than your fair share in a group setting. While this may also be yours, if it’s not and mucking in just isn’t for you who’d rather daydream or make people laugh once you’ve done your share, then don’t apologize for this.
Showing others that you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not or go against your own truth to please them will earn their respect and probably inspire them to do the same.
Everyone has their own merits and if someone is punishing us for not being the same as theirs then it’s probably because they’re insecure or resenting their part in the whole, in which case it’s their and not your responsibility to change that. So keep your integrity and say what you want, and never do what you don’t want to do… apart from when others truly need your help.
Being a teacher and not a preacher is testing, but is the next step up in our spiritual practice. It will be ongoing, but the more we practice these three steps, the more we will manifest masterful interactions and pave the way for others.