This is the sort of over-simplified advice I see time and time again, in articles, self-help and spiritual books, and out of people’s mouths (brother, I may have even handed it out myself a few times).
I get it, I know – when you ‘peak’ or become introduced to a new, unspoiled kind of reality, words no longer have the edge they once did. I… just… can’t… quite… put it into words… Just be positive! It IS that simple, but for those who are still suffering (and those many times in our lives that we slip back and our once perfect advice shrivels up into the empty shell of insincerity) we need to find the individual recipe that’s perfect for them.
And another thing – perhaps some of us don’t want to be happy with no bumps in the road – this isn’t what we came here to do. Raising our vibrations will of course separate us from those still choosing to blank certain home truths, but surely this gift that we have been given, or at least the sheer blessing that we are beginning to transcend means that we should try and bring as many people as we possibly can with us?
This is the way of a Bodhisattva, and it got me thinking when I recently tried to attach a meaningful prayer as I sent a donation to the disaster relief for Nepal. One person, with the right vibrations of course, CAN send huge amounts of good feeling – in a nutshell, Love (I’m the one oversimplifying now) – to one area suffering from a disaster, group of people or part of the earth that needs our help.
Not that I’m saying most of us will even be close to achieving Bodhisattva status yet, but in using this kind of healing during prayer, we are not trying to use high vibrations ‘to get rid of the bastards in our lives’, but because it’s our duty to each other.
And so, for the extremely sensitive among us, who regularly experience other’s suffering as if it were our own, we are probably here to help. ‘Boundaries’ is another word that’s bounded around just as much, but how do we strike a balance so as not entirely cut people off?
Below I’ve listed a few categories of people and how we might bring them with us, or at least attempt to.
The first people who are sure to notice a change in you at all and probably have had you pegged as the black sheep of the family since you were a child – or the one who’s into conspiracy theories and eats bird seed for breakfast – will be your family.
In fact my own sister, in an exclamation of frustration once said to me – sometimes it’s like you’re trying to be weird! Though they may have certain labels for you that are challenging to break free of, a little like I imagine coming out of the closet must feel like, it’s essential to do, especially if you’re going to keep raising those vibrations.
I’m not saying chuck all those hard-earned relationships in the bin and then fly off to Thailand and never speak to them again. But don’t be afraid to cause waves and ruffle some feathers. If they reject it – fine, it’ll hurt all the more if you treat their reactions with anger, causing them to further fuel and justify it. Instead treat them with understanding, and the more likely they’ll be to re-contact you and ask you to elaborate.
My own family are still in the stages of ‘just ignore it when she uses all these odd phrases and hope she stops’. And I’ve learnt to not hand out information uninvited (especially seeing as a fair few of them are in the mental health profession).
But what I do do (slowly but surely I hope), in my actions and life choices, is open them up to the possibility that what they thought was impossible is not and that going against the ‘traditional’ life path of get a job, get married, have children, work, retire, die doesn’t necessarily mean you’re emotionally unstable.
It may be painful and cause your own ego to flare up once in a while, but keep at it and you may reap the rewards.
Friends and Colleagues
These are the class of people who are the most likely to listen to you – due to the emotional proximity they have to you; not too close like family, not so far like strangers – but are also the most likely to bully and ostracize. Pretending you don’t have the most wildly different views, morals and lifestyle to them isn’t going to get you very far.
They notice you are different if only for the fact that you shine up their self deceit and ridiculousness to them like no other. This is why you must learn to 100% not take things personally as well as 100% keep your own self respect and actions as sharp as possible for they will use anything to discount you and make excuses for why you make them uncomfortable.
It can become a battle of morals and because of the intensity of your time spent together can get a little overwhelming for someone who takes on other’s emotions such as yourself. You can start to believe the opinions they have of you.
But if you are aware of what can become me vs the people and purposefully relax and show others you are a person just like them, then you will have an effect. Make them laugh, keep entirely quiet or simply chose your words carefully. Show them you like them (we all love a bit of flattery), and they will listen to you, yet also be able to reject what you show them so that nobody need fall out.
Having lived in a foreign country that is a mixture of curious to downright fearful of foreigners (and strangers who are natives too), I know what it feels like to stand out. Just taking my kids to the park means falling under the scrutiny of the locals who desire to fault you for everything you do.
I’ve learnt to stand up straight, not frown or become defensive, but openly carry on doing things my way anyway with as much love and good intention as I can muster.
Introducing ideas can be tricky. It’s usually followed by the target knitting their features into a knot of complexity or looking like they’d like to spit on you right there and then.
But usually you’ll find – if you’ve chosen well and they’re ripe for sowing seeds to in the first place – then they’ll approach you later and ask more puzzled questions.
I remember when an American bloke from Arizona once told me a member of his family was going to ‘continue on’ soon. Continue on? It bothered me the whole day after he said it. Continue on? Continue on? Did he mean DIE?
The veil that had been over my eyes began to lift. I sought him out and he said it again. Ooo, it gave me goosepimples. How I liked it, my confusion over the whole depressing subject didn’t appear to be so dark after all. I was hungry for more.
So there it is. In closing I’ll indulge in some more trite phrases because, well words are limited… but sometimes they’re all we have. So stop biting your tongue, be the change you want to see in the world, stop trying to please others for the sake of not hurting them.
Be honest and fearless, don’t suppress but EXPRESS, and they’ll appreciate it more in the long run. Speak your truth. It’s what you came here to do.