“When you are truly genuine, there will invariably be people who do not accept you. And in that case, you must be your own badass self, without apology.” ~ Katie Goodman
What does it mean to be unfuckwithable? It means being, becoming, and overcoming the pinnacle of yourself, in the moment, despite self-doubt or the doubt of others.
It means full engagement with being, becoming, and overcoming the best possible version of yourself. It’s walking into a room, fiercely radiating, doing as Rumi advised, “Wherever you stand, be the soul of that place.” Because you simply cannot be fucked with when you’re the soul of a place.
Being unfuckwithable is the absolute realization that expectation and attachment are poison, because it is precisely expectation and attachment that makes one fuckwithable. In order to be unfuckwithable, expectation and attachment must be let go of.
Being unfuckiwthable is having confident vulnerability in the face of a world playing at being invulnerable. It’s absolute uncertainty and unconditional love in the face of rigid certainty and conditional love. It’s the utter subsuming of finite gameplay through infinite gameplay.
Here are seven specific signs that you may be unfuckwithable.
1.) You realize you are worthy:
“We are all unique medicine.” ~ Angeles Arrien
Self-gratitude becomes you. You are armed with self-actualized fortitude. You often ask yourself: does my calling choose me or do I choose my calling. You take both options into deep consideration, while understanding that either way you are the only version of you to have ever existed.
Your self-worth makes you unfuckwithable precisely because of an equal parts unique-as-your-own-fingerprint soul-signature radiation and a cosmic interconnectedness to all things resonation.
Do others think you’re worthy? It matters little. Your self-worth is a blitzkrieg that obliterates other people’s doubts and insecurities regarding you. In fact, your self-worth is so robust that it is able to alchemize the negative energy vomited up from others and then transform it into positive reinforcement and personal motivation. Your unfuckwithability is multi-edged.
You are able to cut the good from the bad, and even sharpen each into being more capable of shaving the superfluous from the other.
2.) You focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot:
“In order to truly be unfuckwithable, you need to lose your need to seek validation or love from others and to judge them when you perceive that they are not giving you what you need.” ~ Vishen Lakhiani, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind
You can’t control how other people act, but you can control how you act. And you act with full acceptance of other people’s freedom. Should their freedom not give you what you think you need, you don’t whine or complain about it, but live and love by healthy example.
Maybe they will understand the example, or maybe not. That’s their problem, not yours. It only becomes your problem when you are attached to a particular behavioral outcome from them and expect them to act a certain way. But there is no certainty in the affairs of others. And that’s okay.
For you realize that it is precisely within this uncertain mystery where all romance and adventure lies dormant and waiting to flourish.
3.) You use fear itself to live fearlessly:
“It’s only when we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” ~ Tyler Durden
When you’re unfuckwithable, fear is mere fuel. What scares you compels you, for you understand that the comfort zone will not stretch itself. So you are proactive about stretching it. You could lose everything or gain everything, but the disposition remains the same: “Attitude is the difference between ordeal and adventure.” ~ Karl Frei
If, as Carl Jung wrote, “The difference between a good life and a bad life is how well you walk through the fire,” then you are the fire, transforming fear into fuel and fuel into courage which becomes a mighty fire that spreads sparks over the kindling of the human condition. You are unfuckwithable because you are both prepared to burn yourself and capable of burning others. Either way, the ashes make for fecund compost within which to grow a healthier future.
4.) You do not seek validation, but pursue self-love instead:
“One must be willing to stand alone – in the unknown, with no reference to authority or the past or any of one’s conditioning. One must stand where no one has stood before in complete nakedness, innocence, and humility.” ~ Adyashanti
You love yourself like your life depends upon it. Because it does. It doesn’t matter if everybody loves you or if everybody hates you. What matters is that you love yourself, and self-love begins with healthy living in mind, body, and soul.
This type of love is a mighty beacon. Nothing shines brighter in dark times or darker in blinding light than self-love radiating out from a healthy individual. Such insurgent love burns holes straight through hatred and gets down to the vulnerable guts of the insecurity of the human condition, revealing that hate is really nothing more than armored love, anxious and fearful of being vulnerable.
You are unfuckwithable because hatred and adoration alike slide off you like water off a ducks back. Haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love, but what matters in the end is how well you love yourself, so that you are capable of loving others and being Love itself. In the crashing plane of our unhealthy culture, you are the oxygen mask.
5.) You practice radical forgiveness:
“Therefore, dark past, I’m about to do it. I’m about to forgive you for everything.” ~ Mary Oliver
You know how to “be the duck!” Stress, fear, anxiety? All water off your being-the-duck’s back. What does it mean to “be the duck”? It means being fully present. It means the depressions of the past and the anxieties of the future are “parted waters” from your confident, in-the-moment, in-flow, flexible stance against an inflexible world. It means being a fulcrum of radical self-forgiveness.
The past is the past. The future is the future. Right now is all you have to be, become, and overcome the best possible version of yourself. And the best method for doing precisely that is radical forgiveness.
The kind of forgiveness that absorbs wrongdoing and rightdoing and transforms it into Being in Love, in the moment, full-frontal with absolute oneness with all things. You are unfuckwithable because you realize, as Lily Tomlin did, that “forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” And maybe even for a better future.
6.) You aren’t afraid of rattling a few cages:
“The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Rules? If they are valid, healthy and in accordance with the greater interconnected cosmos, then you work with them. If not, you brazenly break them. The same thing goes for laws. Man-made laws especially are meant to be broken. For you understand that mankind is exceedingly fallible and incessantly prone to making mistakes. So you choose to live a courage-based lifestyle as opposed to a comfort-based lifestyle. This way you are less likely to become rigid, complacent, or stagnant yourself, and more likely to reveal the rigidity, complacency and stagnation within others.
Like Yoda advised, you have “trained yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” And so you are free to always win, because even when you “lose” you gain knowledge. Even through your mistakes, you become wise. For you have freed yourself up for greater and greater freedom. Having left your cage behind you, having willingly walked through the open door of your own prison cell, you now have the physical, mental, and spiritual audacity to rattle the cages of others and to reveal to them as Rumi revealed to us all: “Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”
7.) You’re a badass Buddha as opposed to merely a bystander Buddha:
“Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~ Anais Nin
You have the wherewithal to create a dent in the universe. You are compelled by your vision. Having forsaken the petty notion of “finding a career,” or “becoming enlightened,” you have found your true calling: to persistently, audaciously, and lovingly self-overcome all current states, no matter how stagnant or overflowing they may seem.
The inner drive from your calling propels you proactively forward, in the moment. You’ve leveled up from finite-player to infinite-player, operating on a whole new playing field.
Your unfuckwithable spiritual fortitude is all-encompassing, interdependently flexing out like a cosmic muscle. Where others whine and complain about being in the world, you rise and transcend by being the world. Through what Ken Wilber calls “world-centric consciousness,” you intuitively connect with all of life without forsaking your own power to be a spiritual badass.
In fact, the more you connect with all things the sharper your badassery becomes. Your passion is your edge. Your ability to self-overcome is your sharpening stone. Your sword is sharp and infinite-edged, so there is no settled state, there is no limited sharpness. There is only the infinite Now to sharpen your finite health against. And your unfuckwithable spirit is up for the task. Buddha is dead. God is dead. The path is littered with insufferable egos. Even your own ego has an enlightened sword penetrating through its self-righteous heart, and your soul is all the stronger for it.