“You can search the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~ as mentioned in Rājan Sutta: The King, translated from Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.
It is an unfortunate state of affairs when a genuinely kind and compassionate soul forgets to love the one person that really matters… themselves. And sadly enough, this happens all too often for those of us who are natural born empaths, healers, energetically sensitive or spiritually inclined.
It seems as soon as our inner calling begins to bloom in us that tells us that we are here on a mission and that mission is to help raise the consciousness level of humanity we innocently start our quest in trying to save everyone we meet.
A part of us knows that we are the light bringers and humanity needs us which consequently may have many of us more focused on other people and their problems as a way to feel as if we are fulfilling our mission.
What many light bearers may not know is that the only person we are really here to love completely and unconditionally is our own self.
Through our own love of our hearts the entire world is transformed, and as we raise our own consciousness level by loving our own hearts we naturally will raise the consciousness level of the planet without having to abandon our self to save “the others.” This realization must hit like a hammer. The only relationship that ever will truly matter or cause lasting change is the relationship with your own self.
As our relationship with ourselves becomes based in love and empathy, the world as we see it begins to transform as if to mirror back to us the higher and more loving vibration we are residing at. So what exactly does this mean to “love ourselves”?
Below are 6 ways in which you can begin to form a more loving relationship with your own self:
1) Get to know yourself
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~ Oscar Wilde
If we were to meet our perfect partner what would be the first thing we would want to do with that person? Get to know them better! We would want to know everything about them, what they liked, what they disliked, what their favorite color was, what kind of movies make them happy, what makes them cry, etc.
In order to start the process of loving your own self you must get to know the real you behind what you think you “should” be like. What motivates you? What things are you passionate about? What makes you feel vulnerable? When we begin to truly form an open relationship with our self we begin to cultivate honesty in our being which allows us to be confident in who we are.
As long as we are at peace with ourselves and treat ourselves with the utmost love and compassion we will stand confident in our being which is not only a highly attractive quality to have but helps us to embrace our own uniqueness.
“You are imperfect. Permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” ~ Amy Bloom
Once we really get to know ourselves on a deep and naked level it then becomes time for us to make friends with ourselves, and lift ourselves up from the inside out by becoming our own biggest fan and greatest ally. When we are sad, we offer ourselves emotional support and compassion just like we would to a friend.
It’s amazing how many of us turn on our own self by becoming our own biggest critic as soon as we act in a way that we have deemed less than desirable by society’s standards. Our mind is not always going to be “perfect”, so when we find ourselves beating ourselves up or judging ourselves it just becomes another opportunity for us to love the part of us that judges and criticizes.
Our bodies may not always be exactly where we want them to be, but if we talk to our cells more lovingly we will notice over time we naturally want to eat healthier and we will notice that we feel better as well. As we become more loving towards everything we do we will naturally invite more of our true nature to shine through which connects us to our soul and spirit.
3) Connect to your inner child
A wonderful exercise to do is to think of every single emotion we have as a child inside of our hearts that is longing for our loving attention. Sometimes children in their quest to get more of our attention act out in a negative way just to get us to stop focusing on who or whatever we are focused on and bring the attention back to them.
What many don’t know is that our own hearts do the same thing. When we give our power away to others by making them the ones that have the power to make or break us through their validation and acceptance of us, we inadvertently abandon our own innocent inner child by subconsciously reinforcing the belief that someone else’s opinion of us matters more than our own opinion of ourselves.
It’s as if we are saying to our inner child, “I will accept and love you once so and so accepts and loves me, so until I get their love and attention I can’t give you mine.” By treating each emotion we have as a cry for help from our innocent nature and unconditionally loving each emotion we notice that our inner child no longer feels the need to “act up” as a way to get us to focus on him/her.
4) Become your own “safe place”
This happens as a natural result of forming a more loving relationship with our inner child. As our hearts begin to feel safe to feel however they want to feel without fear of being rejected, abandoned or judged as “wrong”, we become the safest person for ourselves to be around. Soon we begin to go through life with a shield around us which allows us to face any adversity without being stressed, worried or afraid.
5) Say “I love you” to yourself
Sometimes the most simple of acts can be the most effective. When “I love you” becomes the thing we say most often to our own self, we energetically begin to vibrate at such a high state that anything of a lower vibration can’t reside in our being.
Many spiritual teachers recommend placing your hand over your heart while you repeat these words to yourself over and over. As you do this, you will notice an immediate feeling of relaxation and overall feeling of being safe, which is exactly how one should feel while in the presence of someone that loves them.
6) Let your light shine on bright
As the relationship we have with ourselves begins to change we will notice at first that the world is not reflecting back to us our new feelings towards ourselves. Often because we feel shy or guilty about being happy around people who don’t seem to be loving their own selves we dim our shine to make others feel more comfortable.
However, by doing this we not only hurt ourselves but we hurt them in the long run. When we become confident to be our biggest fan and love ourselves from a place of humility rather than arrogance we will begin to give the other people in our lives the permission to do the same.
Soon the world as we know it is mirroring back to us our own light and loving nature.