4 Reasons Why the Law of Attraction isn’t Working for You

“The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something our hearts know is a lie.” ~ Karen Moning

The law of attraction has been a hot topic for many ever since the infamous book, “The Secret” came out in 2006. Although there were many authors and teachers who touched on these concepts in the past, this book seems to be the one that made “manifestation” a household word.

Since it’s release, there has been countless authors, spiritual teachers, motivational speakers and channeled messages that touch on the topic that you can in fact create your own reality simply by “visualizing” it’s existence.

It sounds really magical and amazing in theory, and for those people who dare to open their minds to a metaphysical reality in which there are forces of the universe that we can utilize to cast our dreams into fruition it also sounds do-able. As one begins to start having tangible experiences with unseen forces, they also begin to feel into the magic of how energy works.

So why is it that the promises of law of attraction of “you can have anything you want,” seem to elude so many? Sometimes it seems like those that are the most in tune with spiritual concepts and the universe are the very ones who find it the most hard to not only participate in earthly life but also to bring their visualizations into physical form.

There are certain “rules” to the law of attraction that many of its promoters don’t spend enough time touching on, and because of this, many of those that attempt to follow the concepts become even more confused and disappointed by their lack of ability to manifest.

Below are 4 common missteps when attempting to utilize the law of attraction in one’s own life. 

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

1.) You believe you need to feel positive about everything

It’s pretty much tattooed on every law of attraction teacher’s forehead, “think positive, you attract the energy you put out!” While there is some undoubted truth to this, what many fail to understand is the fact that this does not suggest that we MUST be happy about things that we truly are not happy about.

In fact, the more one tries to force “happiness” on to their heart when the heart is breaking in disappointment, guilt, fear or shame, the more they take themselves AWAY from the reality in which they truly prefer.

To help explain this better, think about a little child whose bike gets stolen. The child begins to cry when he discovers this, and just then his parent walks up and says, “don’t cry, you’ll just attract more bad stuff to happen to you, so stop crying now!”

The child is essentially hearing, “your natural emotions don’t matter, you aren’t allowed to be disappointed, you are only allowed to feel happy about EVERYTHING.” Over time, the child begins to travel further and further away from his natural emotions, instead placing a “happy mask” on everyday, pretending nothing matters to him, all is great.

We’ve all met that person, the one who is almost seething with anxiety, anger, and fear just below their “happy mask.” These are the people who suddenly have the nervous breakdown after decades of repressing their anger and frustration. Does this sound like the energy of a master manifestor? Hardly.

The truth is we must actually embrace our humanity, which means allowing emotions to not only be acknowledged by us but actually felt, and the more we don’t do this the more we say to our subconscious mind and inner child, “who you are really is not good enough. You must be happier and positive in order for me to accept you and love you.”

It is no wonder why so many of us feel unworthy of love and don’t know why. We’ve spent years running from our authentic emotions, and thoughts. What you need to understand here is, honesty is a higher vibration than fake happiness. Let that really sink in, honesty is a higher vibration than fake happiness.

When one becomes really attuned to reality, we actually find that we can use the power of our emotions to our advantage, and we can actually feel our emotions without completely identifying with them as our sense of self, which is precisely how we heal these emotions vs. wallowing in them.

2) You focus more on manifesting than you do on healing

The mistake so many often make is that getting what they want in the physical realm is the ultimate purpose or goal for themselves. They start to believe that the “finish line” of all this is to get the car, the home, the relationship, the money, etc… However, nothing could be farther from the truth.

The real goal is to feel how we wish to feel, how we believe the things we are trying to manifest will make us feel when we get them, is in fact what we are looking for. For example, one may believe that a relationship will make them feel more fulfilled, so they spend their time visualizing this dream person who is going to take all their pain and unworthiness away.

The mistake here is believing that anyone or anything outside of ourselves is the key to our happiness and fulfillment, this is not in fact the case. While relationships, and money and a new car CAN give us short term excitement, enjoyment and appreciation for life, on a core level they can never permanently fulfill us.

So, what expert manifestors do that others don’t is they focus on the beliefs they have about themselves and life that causes them to believe that their happiness lies “out there,” vs. within.


When one simply focuses on their own healing, which means identifying the limiting beliefs and fears that we have formed within our subconscious mind’s programming that cause us to feel that we lack value or worthiness, the external reality takes care of itself.

Essentially, when we focus on healing our own hearts, and wounds from the subconscious mind, we don’t actually NEED to do all the visualizing and manifesting tricks, because life aligns us with our highest destiny simply because we feel whole and healed within.

3) You are still focused on your mind’s judgments

Judgment is actually the nature of the ego and the mind. Polarity or duality consciousness simply means a reality in which all things are seen because their opposite also exists. So, the mind files everything into two files, “good,” or “bad.”

Now what you may not have realized is that these judgments are the very things we came to earth to heal and transcend. This means we will attract what we judge, and continue to do so repeatedly, until we stop judging what we attract.

Every time you criticize yourself for being angry, for feeling sad, or less than or judge another because they don’t have as much money as you, or whatever… what you are essentially telling the universe is, “bring me more opportunities to heal this judgment.”

When we can come to a place of sincere acceptance, unconditional love, and forgiveness for all these things that we have previously judged, rest assured that this is the perfect storm for life to begin bringing to you your highest destiny. When we can see the “divine” or perfection in all things genuinely, then we genuinely manifest the perfect “reality” that we have envisioned.

4) You still blame yourself or others for the way things are going

If you can surrender to the fact that everything that happens is there to help you and not actually your fault or anyone else’s fault, you automatically align with the will of the universe, and your highest destiny.

Since blame is another form of judgment, it’s no wonder that those who continuously blame themselves or life for the way things are going, continue to attract situation that cause them to blame. One of the first and most important steps in utilizing the law of attraction is a process called surrender.

This step is tricky because depending on where you are at in your healing process, it will work against you if you try to move past it quicker than your heart is asking for.

For example, you may genuinely be disappointed for not getting the job you applied for, and truly feel like had you done better at the interview you would have been hired. To by-pass the honest truth of that moment, which is that you are blaming yourself, is to deny the what is of that moment, which takes us back to number 1- inauthentic thought patterns.

The healing of our natural emotions and natural perspectives must take priority, but at a certain point, we must realize the perfection in all situation. Everything truly is happening for a reason and that reason is for the betterment of our life.

Image Sources:

Matt Kahn Quote Pic made by: Nikki Sapp
Rainbow photograph, “Are you still blaming…”made by Nikki Sapp

Please share, it really helps! :) <3

Nikki Sapp
Nikki Sapp
After a synchronistic turn of events led her to receive a "oneness blessing" in 2011, Nikki Sapp experienced a huge shift in her awareness and an awakening of her consciousness. Thus started her spiritual journey. As time transpired, it became apparent to her that her talent for writing and communication would be how she could give back to humanity and help others who were also experiencing a spiritual awakening. Guided by love and service, she allows her body to be the vehicle by which the universe speaks to others through her writing.


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