“If constructive thoughts are planted, positive outcomes will be the result. Plant the seeds of failure and failure will follow.” ~ Sidney Madred
We’ve all had the experience of being around someone who brings out the best in us. A person whose energy drives us into being the best possible version of ourselves that we are capable of, someone who we want to make proud or impress, but can’t quite put our finger on the reason why.
It’s as if this person expects something from us that we want to give them, they expect to see us at our best and we don’t want to disappoint. I strongly believe in the idea that there are no “bad” people, there are people who are in pain, or are facing some kind of struggle and because of this aren’t exactly the healthiest version of themselves.
There are people who due to cultural programming or growing up in dysfunctional situations have built walls and guards around their heart that may take a little longer to chip through. But at the core, all we ever find is a heart in need of more love and understanding. Every person has a best version of themselves that they long to be, and every once in a while we meet a person that draws this out of us.
What a beautiful trait to possess. Imagine being able to transform people that you meet into better and healthier versions of their former selves while also having the power to heal relationships and even help people move through their walls and emotional blockages by just being ourselves alone. We are all one.
What many people may not realize is that through the power of unconditional love and healing in our own lives we actually have the power to help others face their own inner demons and emotional pain.
So how does one go about this? How do we become the type of person who brings out the absolute best in the people in our lives?
Heal yourself first
“In order to heal others we first need to heal ourselves. And to heal ourselves, we need to know how to deal with ourselves.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
We’ve all heard a million times the importance of self-love and self-care, and for good reason. We can never extend to others something we have not first given to our own selves.
The love and empathy we have extended to our own innocent heart becomes the foundation by which we are able to extend this level of compassion to others. By treating our emotional reactions as unhealed parts of our emotional body that are begging for our loving attention, we see that the best way to deal with any emotion is with more love not less.
If each time we are triggered emotionally we become the loving parent that our inner child is looking at for guidance and acceptance, we actually see that we are the love that our hearts are waiting for, which means we also are the one who have the power to heal ourselves.
Each life circumstance that brings about a strong emotional reaction is the indicator to tell us which emotion is popping into awareness asking for unconditional acceptance. The power of healing ourselves first will actually over time begin to transform the relationships we have with others and in turn will lead us to become the type of person that has the ability to make others rise to our level of consciousness rather than us sinking to theirs.
Use positive reinforcement from a place of authenticity
“Be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already.” ~ Dave Willis
After one has healed themselves they may find that they naturally are looking for the best in others. Instead of reacting to another’s negative behavior with defensiveness or criticism, they will find that forgiveness and empathy is what arises naturally inside of them.
A very effective tactic to use is to react to each negative behavior with a loving response or compliment even. For example, let’s say someone tells you that you need to lose some weight. An unconscious person may react negatively or defensively to someone saying this about them.
However, as our awareness levels rise, we can use each perceived criticism into an opportunity to compliment the other by saying something like, “You are so sweet to care about my health and well-being. I really appreciate you,” we actually completely disarm what started as perhaps a negative dagger straight to our heart and turn it into a way to offer the heart in need of more love (the one giving the insult) an opportunity to actually rise to a higher vibration and consciousness.
If we start to treat people how we wish they would be, by using all interactions with them as a chance to help them feel better about themselves, we will notice that over time these same people who were trying to get negative attention from us are no longer attempting to do so.
Innately, we all know that love is the highest vibration, so when we fight fear with fear, negativity with negativity, or criticism with defensiveness we are actually ensuring that we stay stuck in that vibration with that person.
But when we use unconditional love, compliments and forgiveness as our “fight back” tactic, we actually not only raise our own vibration but we actually heal our relationships with others. The most important point to remember here is that it must be from a place of authenticity.
If we are using these tactics from a place of attempting to manipulate another person’s behavior while we are secretly still upset that they are saying these things, it will be apparent on an energetic level (whether either party realizes it consciously or not) and will cause people to be skeptical of us.
If inside we still feel a tinge of anger or frustration due to the negative behavior of others it only is a reminder that there is still some unhealed parts of our emotional energy field that are arising to get our attention. And even though we may not choose to express our anger towards them at that time, it shows us that when we are alone or doing our own meditation or healing work we can focus on these particular emotions and feel them without judgment which eventually transforms and heals them.
Always remember that you are the master of your universe. You are the one attracting to you people, places and things which are not only giving you the practice of being a loving being whose light is able to transform others, but also is showing you the places where some level of healing is still required.
By using the tactics of healing yourself, and treating people not only better than they deserve, but in a fashion by which they feel comfortable and excited to be their best selves around you, you awaken the master inside of you that actually becomes the light of the world, your world.