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Are You an Effective Communicator?

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February 22, 2016

“To effectively communicate we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” ~ Anthony Robbins

To be able to communicate effectively is perhaps one of the most, if not the most, important skills a person can have. All of life is relationships, and to be able to communicate with others in an effective manner is the oil that keeps the gears of our inner workings with others running efficiently and smoothly.

Point blank, without communication we are not only unable to learn from others, but we are unable to help other people understand our point of view, which makes for an extremely frustrating and perhaps lonely existence.

The way we communicate with others will determine whether or not our relationships, friendships, family dynamics, or work relationships go well, and move forward or whether or not we have constant problems in our lives.

Effective communication leads to healthy relationships, and the healthier our relationships are, the happier and more liberated we will feel. In order to be an effective communicator there are certain things we must remember and tools that will help us along the way.

Below are five tools to keep in our arsenal at all times that will aid us in being the most effective communicator that we can possibly be:

“At a certain point in your evolution, it doesn’t actually matter what people say to you. It only matters what you say to yourself when things are said. In time, you will come to see how being heartbroken by words, or grateful for the gifts that others provide, is simply a matter of interpretation. No matter how words are received, when each interaction inspires you to love your own heart in response to any encounter, the highest purpose of communication has been discovered. Conscious communication is not just a way of sharing your truth with others, but learning how to respond to yourself with the kindness, patience, acceptance, and care that certain characters in your play are destined to withhold.” ~ Matt Kahn

1) Stop talking, listen!

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is listening to what another has to say.” ~ Unknown

The above quote truly sums it up. When we listen to others without the intent of just waiting our turn to respond we offer the person we are talking with one of the most valuable forms of respect. It’s truly amazing how many of us do not feel seen or heard in this world, and when we become the one who gives our full attention to those that have something to say we shift the energy of a conversation from resistance to acceptance.

Sometimes people just want to be listened to and empathized with, without being told what to do or how to do it. An effective communicator knows when to listen and when it’s time to give advice or explain.

So many arguments work themselves out by simply taking the time to allow each person to say how they feel and why they feel that way.

2) Be honest with how you feel without blaming another

The only thing we truly own is our own feelings. When we stay true to this fact, we allow ourselves to feel freely and talk about our feelings without blaming them on somebody else. It’s important to remember that our perception of a situation may not be the absolute truth. We can say how we feel about something without pointing the finger at another person.

As long as we stick to our truth we will find that there most likely is a reasonable explanation behind the other person’s behavior and 9 times out of 10 their behavior had nothing to do with us personally. If we understand that every person is doing the best they can from the level of consciousness they reside in, it takes blame and judgment off the table.

It doesn’t mean we should put up with being mistreated and abused (if that’s how we constantly are made to feel by a particular person), but it does allow us to have empathy and forgiveness for those who have said things that hurt us.

3) Don’t make assumptions

“Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

So often, we think we know why someone did what they did, and because of this we feel justified in pointing the finger at others. However, if we don’t ask questions and get the real story behind people’s actions we run the risk of concocting stories in our mind’s about someone that may or may not be true.

If we can recall how many times in our own lives someone has misunderstood us or misconstrued the motivations behind our actions we can get a clearer picture of how often we probably do this to others.

At the end of the day, each one of us has our own unique perspective on the world and none of us can always know what is going through someone else’s mind when they act the way they do.

Simply put, if we are unsure about something, instead of assuming, ask. By hearing another person’s answer to our questions we will undoubtedly learn something new and gain a clearer perspective on their behavior.

4) Be present, and breathe

There are definitely going to be times in life where our anger gets the best of us. We go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds and we find ourselves blowing up at another. However, if we take the time to bring ourselves back to our breath in these moments we will save ourselves the chaos and drama of a shouting match.

In times of extreme frustration, we can even excuse ourselves to take a moment to take some deep breaths before we continue the argument. This one choice alone will save us from letting our anger take over and prevent rage from ensuing.

An effective communicator knows when it is time to walk away from a conversation. Often, taking some time off by each party helps to regroup. After each party has calmed down (and give yourself hours or even days if you need it) you can revisit the initial conversation in a more effective manner. Responding is always more effective than reacting.

5) Be willing to apologize

This is the single most important thing someone can do when we are in an argument with others. Most of the time all people want is an apology. Let’s face it, no one is perfect.

We all make mistakes and we all sometimes say things we shouldn’t. If we are humble enough to apologize to others we are able to solve 90% of the problem. Humility is in knowing that we aren’t always perfect, and people will be more willing to try and understand our point of view in the future if they know that we know that as well.

By simply adopting these five tools in our relationships with others, we will find that not only are we happier, but people will respect us. At the end of the day, it all comes back to the golden rule which is treating others the way we would like to be treated. And by using effective communication during any discrepancy, we will ensure more harmonious relationships.

11 Bruce Lee Quotes that Pack a Punch

Pia

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February 21, 2016

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Bruce Lee, a true master of mind and body, believed that the two could not be separated.

The richness of his mind and inner life is reflective in his words of wisdom and in his being. He was also a philosopher and a poet.

Though less well-known, this side of his personality undoubtedly played a major role in the mystical qualities he brought to his life and work. He believed that the beauty of all things was in simplicity, which was also inculcated in his very own martial arts system Jeet Kune Do.

The shedding of the unnecessary, just as a sculptor beginning with a clump of clay sheds what is unnecessary, formed the basis of all his practices.

Here are a few of Bruce Lee quotes and their meanings:

A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.

Do not be attached to the outcome or the goal itself, rather keep it as a rough outline of what you would like to see happen as a result of walking the path. Both the goal and path are subject to change. However, the goal was designed to keep us walking.

Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.

Wisdom is the application of knowledge in a way that serves the expansion of our own being and our surroundings.

The willingness to do something means nothing until we are in the process of doing it. Willingness is not a state of mind alone, it is a practice.

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.

A foolish man willingly attaches himself to ignorance, and insists that he already knows. No amount of wisdom unveiled by others can change this until he lifts the veil himself. A wise man knows that there is something to learn in everything; he does not assume to know. He believes in learning and expansion.

Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. Be yourself!

When in pursuit of themselves, one will find exactly what one is looking for. The truth resides within you and only you. By being the truest version of yourself you can unlock it time again as you evolve.

For it is easy to criticize and break down the spirit of others, but to know yourself takes a lifetime.

Knowing yourself is a lifelong journey – your values, your goals, your beliefs and who we truly are. But instead of working on ourselves we often spend our energy in finding faults in others and criticizing others.

Truly knowing our inner self, which requires a high level of introspection and self-awareness, will give us access to our highest potential.

Give up all expectations and let nature take its course.

Sometimes to lose control is the best possible thing that can happen to us. It releases us from the shackles of pain that comes from expectations and teaches us faith and to be calm. We soon discover on that journey that our actions are more perfect than we believed. We start to love what is, at every gifted moment.

Those who are unaware they are walking in darkness will never seek the light.

“…Now I see that I will never find the light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, Consuming myself.” The light, the ease of being, the great cosmic love, is not something outside of ourselves. A lantern enables us to see what is outside of ourselves but with no light within, we project our darkness onto everything we see. Acknowledge and honor the love within so that everything you see is basked in the light of awareness.

The meaning of life is that it is to be lived.

Life is not one thing over another. It cannot be packed into little labeled boxes or filed away in some metaphorical cabinet. There is little we can do to reason with it and we may find we have no reason to reason with it in the first place. It is the order in chaos, the miracle and the gift. Everything is meant to be felt out, experienced and lent to expand our perspectives.

If you truly love life, don’t waste time because time is what life is made of.

We can make the most of the moment or we can waste it. When we use our time carelessly we are not respecting our own mortality. We are being unreceptive to the pure potential it has to be something we can celebrate. Spend time wisely, with care and with love.

Bring the mind into sharp focus and make it alert so that it can immediately intuit truth.

The truth is easily gauged with a clear mind. A clear mind cleans itself of restrictive thought patterns, prejudices and expectations. It does not see what the ego wants. It only sees what is. When the mind is clear, true information shows itself in a fraction of a second.

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.

No life is easy. Our existence is filled with contrasts. They shape our perspectives, mold us and make us who we are. They keep us thankful and always growing. A bland life teaches little. Finding strength within a harsh life is a deeply meditative and expansive process. It opens us up to unthinkable channels of light and love that ground us in our own power.

Be soft like water.

People think of hardness and rigidity and equate it to strength, but it is the bamboo that bends and survives the strongest winds. Water takes the shape of all containers, makes its path on the hardest of rocks. Nothing can break it.

It is cool, calm, collected. It can flow and it can crash, as it chooses. Be like water and make peace with your being. Have no fear of what you may fall into for you have the potential to adjust to all forms, to all you interact with.

10 Signs You Have An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Life

Ester Eckhaus

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February 19, 2016

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10 Signs You Have An Emotionally Unavailable Partner

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” ~ Robin Williams

Being in a relationship with a partner who’s emotionally unavailable can be taxing and painful. Sometimes we cannot tell if the person will be available or committed in the beginning so we go along for the ride until we find out the truth. This comes about in many ways, with one person being evasive or unable to connect, while the other slowly feels more lonely and frustrated.

Certain people cannot be emotionally available until they’ve sought out the help they need, or get past an emotional trauma.

For example, a married man or woman will not be fully available for another relationship on the side, just as a struggling addict will not have a relationship as their top priority. Some people cannot connect fully due to a trauma in their past, such as an abusive relationship with their parent or spouse; or even a past relationship turned sour.

A healthy way to deal with an emotional unavailable partner is to meet them with honesty, kindness, and compassion. But, the second step is to see if they can be reciprocative. When you find that you’ve given all you can and are still not receiving in return, then it is time to take a closer look at the person, or relationship, and look for tell-tale signs of an unavailable partner.

If you did not see the red flags earlier on, here are some things to look out for if you find that your relationship leaves you feeling alone and unsatisfied.

They are in an unavailable circumstance

Whether they are married, in love with someone else, addicted to a substance, or experiencing a loss such as divorce or death, these people are otherwise occupied. So though these people can generally be attentive and available, they are in circumstances that may cause them to be evasive.

They still flirt a lot

Someone who overly flatters or carries on with flirting past the initial dating stage is not usually interested in the long-haul relationship. Their mindset is still in the pick-up scene, and they generally prefer the chase to the catch.

This also keeps the relationship on an overly shallow level instead of allowing for deeper level connections that is found past flattery.

They do not compromise

When a person is unwilling to compromise, they will not work to get the know the other person, or their wants and needs. They will always insist on their way, even if it hurts the other. Imagine trying to have a relationship with someone who covers their ears and says “la la la” everytime you want to speak to them.

They can be very attentive when things are going their way, but emotionally unavailable when it’s time to compromise or work together.

They blame past relationships

Watch how a person talks about their past relationships. In every breakup there is a point where both must realize that they don’t fit. Someone who only blames the other for the bad, does not take responsibility for their own shortcomings and issues.

An emotionally unavailable person will not be able to recognize what they could have done better, but will only lament on how the other was to blame.

They are perfectionists

A person who can find a flaw in anything is usually looking for an excuse to end the relationship and move on, so that they do not have to be too intimate or deal with messy emotions. In reality they are not ready, or unavailable for a relationship, and therefore become picky about their partners.

They are secretive

People who are completely closed off tend to keep a lot of secrets, and do not like you meddling in their business.

There is a difference between getting to know someone who is in their shell, and trying to pull out information from someone who wants to stay behind closed doors.

These are signs that they are not ready to be involved or have you “snooping” in their life.

Anger

A person who portrays strong signs of anger issues, is usually demanding and can lead to emotional abuse in the relationship as well. Notice the way they treat waiters, or other people around you.

This is a telling way to see where this person will go when they are triggered or bothered. It can also show a general lack of self-awareness, or ability to empathize with others. These signs should not be ignored as many of these can turn ugly and abusive.

Arrogance

Stay away from people who are cocky and braggy. People who are overindulgent in their arrogance usually suffer from a low self-esteem. In order to be fully present and vulnerable in a relationship, a person has to acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses.

Going through a trauma

Notice any trauma that the person may have had from the past. Some people may even say it straight out, but notice the way in which they say it. Have they healed from this trauma, or are they still wounded and holding on to it? Does the trauma affect them in their connecting to others?

Addiction

Someone who is an addict can very well live a functional life. In fact, like a workaholic, some would say, have everything under control.

But on the other side of this addiction they are unable to be fully present in the relationship, because essentially their addiction is a second relationship in which they give their time, attention, and energy.

Every person deserves to be in a loving and healthy relationship. Even if a partner is a good and kind person, and causes no abuse, there is no excuse for feeling alone and unfulfilled.

Talk to your emotionally unavailable partner honestly about the signs that you observe, and what can or can’t be fixed. We give love and energy in every relationship, and should expect the same in return.

Attracting emotionally unavailable guys? Here's how to change that.

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Relationships
Robot Heart

8 Essential Oils to Cleanse the Mind, Body & Soul

Spirituality

Pia

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February 18, 2016

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8 Essential Oils to Cleanse the Mind, Body & Soul

From Ancient India, Egypt, Persia to European countries, essential or aromatic oils have been used for thousands of years for their physical, mental and emotionally- elevating properties.

Essential oils, extracted through cold pressing or a careful steam distillation process, are powerful healers. Each fragrance works uniquely on different parts of the physical and emotional body.

Since direct application may cause irritation, a few drops of any essential oil must be diluted with a carrier oil. Carrier oils are organic vegetable oils derived from the fatty parts of particular plants, seeds, and nuts, whereas essential oils are distilled from the bark, root, or leaves of a botanical.

You can use them in your bath, as incense, for massages or for direct application on cuts and bruises.

Here is a list of the top 8 most healing essential oils:

1) Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender has been used for centuries in healing and love potions. The spiritual nature of lavender essential oil
is all about restoration, purification, happiness and peace.

It helps alleviate depression, feelings of isolation and loneliness and brings balance to the emotional body. It has an uplifting quality reminding us that we are never really alone. Research shows that lavender increases brain alpha waves associated with relaxation and deep sleep.

How to use – It works well as a moisturizer for lips and skin; you can add a few drops to a cotton ball and apply on dry areas. To help with insomnia put 3-4 drops on your pillow before sleeping, it’s scent acts as a natural sleep facilitator.

For clogged sinuses, add 2 drops of lavender & thyme oil to an almost steaming water bowl and inhale deeply with a towel over your head and for menstrual cramp relief, rub a few drops onto the lower abdomen or in a hot compress. As an anxiety, anger and stress buster apply a drop and rub into your temples to cool down.

For sunburns, add 8 drops of lavender, 4 drops of peppermint oil to a teaspoon of jojoba oil and let it soak in a warm bath for about 10-15 minutes.

In cases of Eczema or Dermatitis mix a few drops with coconut or sesame or avocado oil onto the affected area. It also helps with motion sickness and nausea when sniffed or put on the tip of the tongue. For fever in babies, sponge them down very gently with lukewarm water sprinkled with a few drops of lavender oil.

2) Peppermint Essential Oil

Peppermint essential oil is an effective natural painkiller and muscle relaxant. It is especially helpful in soothing an aching back, sore muscles, and transforming any lethargy into an energized, high vibrational calmness.

Use this oil to reconnect to your inner self on quiet, meditative days. It’s great for sleep, allowing access to hidden realms of understanding through connecting with our higher selves in deep dream states. It increases awareness and perceptive abilities, relating to the Third Eye & Crown Chakras.

How to use – Use 8-10 drops in bath water for relaxation. Applying 1-2 drops on clothing near the face or on the tip of the tongue improves concentration and is helpful for people with A.D.D. and hyper-activity. It can treat rashes when mixed with lavender oil and topically applied. It’s excellent for reducing fever in children especially when mixed with coconut oil and rubbed on the neck and soles of the feet.

As a popular remedy, it is used to de-clog sinuses when diffused in water and as an expectorant. You can use 2-3 drops mixed with your regular shampoo or conditioner to stimulate the scalp and alleviate dandruff or lice. As it is a natural hair growth stimulator it will also nourish damaged hair.

Peppermint works great for irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), bloating and indigestion as it reduces spasms by relaxing intestinal muscles. A drop of it in water before meals does the trick. It is popularly used for dental care, you can pour a drop of it under the tongue when gargling and is a popular gum flavor for this reason as well.

For nausea caused by everything from motion sickness to chemotherapy, you can dab 1-2 drops behind the ears.

3) Tea Tree Essential Oil

Tea Tree essential oil is a strengthening and medicinal one relating to the root and sacral chakra. It has been used for thousands of years by the Australian Aborigines; they inhaled it from crushed leaves to cure coughs and colds and applied it to fungal and bacterial infections, cuts and burns. Spiritually it is used to bring courage and faith in hard times.

I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because theyre good talkers but they dont have good ideas. Its so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent. Someone s

How to use – Tea tree oil is antiviral and antibacterial, making it great to treat chest, head and nasal congestion (flu symptoms) and asthma. Add a few drops to boiling water, put a towel over your head and breathe in for 10-15 minutes. You can also massage it into the bronchia area after mixing with an ounce of a carrier oil twice a day.

It can treat an array of skin conditions such as acne, warts, corns and athlete’s foot. For cuts and abrasions apply 2-3 drops directly to the area or on a cotton ball. For acne you can add 20-40 drops to a reasonably large sized bottle of your regular face-wash and mix it well.

As a natural cleanser and antiseptic, you can add 1-2 tsp of tea tree oil in a spray bottle and use it around your home. In the case of bone-related issues apply 20 drops to 2 ounces of Grapeseed carrier oil and massage it into the area 2-3 times a day. It should never be ingested, as it is known to be poisonous if swallowed, and isn’t safe for babies younger than 6 months.

Apart from just smelling so tantalizingly good, essential oils cleanse us on a far deeper level, working on our chakras and creating relief at the source. Perhaps why the ancients used them with such frequency and dedication. Mixing the right essential oils together and/or with carrier oils and applying them to unhealed areas can do wonders for the body, mind and soul.

4) Sandalwood Essential Oil

Associated with the Crown and Root Chakras, it is recommended during watchfulness and grounding meditations. It’s the perfect oil to use when you’re feeling a little out of whack, as Sandalwood helps with restlessness, insomnia, panic & anxiety.

Sandalwood essential oil is known to cultivate a strong sense of self and independence. It is also an anti-depressant, anti-inflammatory & antispasmodic, antiseptic and an expectorant with memory-boosting capabilities and also reduces blood pressure and lowers cholesterol.

How to use – Use just 1 or 2 drops of sandalwood oil per application along with a carrier oil. It works well as a moisturizer when added to Vitamin E (carrier) Oil as a face pack.

5) Rose Essential Oil

Known to open the heart chakra, the Rose essential oil promotes love, compassion, and an ability to experience deeper and meaningful relationships. It cultivates nurturing and self love.

It’s often seen as the fragrance of romance, functioning as an aphrodisiac and works well on occasions spent with a special lover. It can be intense for a lot of people as opening up the heart chakra can be very energetically overwhelming and so it’s recommended not to be used daily.

When mixed with almond oil, it is good for women suffering from menstrual cramps, and when mixed with lavender or jasmine for massages, it’s great for treating menopausal symptoms.

How to use – You can add about 5-6 drops in your bathwater diluted with Sunflower or Almond Oils for stress relief and muscle relaxation. It helps calm the spirit and inculcate the virtues of grace, forgiveness, love and compassion.

6) Pine Essential Oil

The therapeutic use of pine essential oil dates back to the ancient Greek civilization including Hippocrates, who noted its strong healing effect on the respiratory system. It is known to relieve respiratory and bronchial ailments such as coughs, colds, bronchitis and even sore throat.

In aromatherapy, pine oil is used to stimulate the body and mind, and has an energizing effect on the person. It works particularly well in epsom salt baths.

Pine is also a great antioxidant and improves eye sight and protects it from age-related ailments. Since it eliminates toxins at a fast rate, it’s used for food poisoning and issues of the intestine & bladder.

It’s also a natural pain reliever, working well with joint pain more specifically. It’s often used as an air freshener for its soothing fragrance that makes you feel as though you are instantly transported to cool woodlands.

It can be used as an insect repellent by pouring about 10 drops to small pieces of raw wood and placing it around drawers and closets. It stimulates our metabolism and is a good work-out oil.

How to use – To relieve muscle tension you can create your own massage oil by adding three drops of pine oil and mixing it with rosemary oil and/or juniper-berry oil in two ounces of jojoba oil and massaging into the muscles before and after exercise.

7) Frankincense Essential Oil

This oil helps in re-aligning all the chakras.Frankincense essential oil can be used to induce feelings of inspiration, introspection, and emotional stability. It cleanses the auric field and opens the channel for divine insight and wisdom and also opens up the chest, eases the diaphragm and helps in stimulating blood flow.

Frankincense oil is useful in alleviating chronic stress and fighting anxiety – add a few drops of oil to a hot bath or an oil diffuser or vaporizer. It also eases pain, inflammation, boosts immunity and frankincense may be a safe and effective remedy for treating different types of cancer.

Similar to Sandalwood, it is an antiseptic and helps keeping ‘indoor pollution’ at a minimum. Apart from these, it can fight tooth decay and other dental problems.

As a natural skin tightener it reduces acne when topically applied due to its cell-revitalizing properties. However, it’s advised not to be used during pregnancy or for small children.

How to use – It can be blended with Jojoba, sweet almond or avocado carrier oils when applied to the skin. You can also ingest it by adding just a drop to any edible carrier oil (eg. coconut oil) with a tablespoon of honey or a glass of water as a body cleanser.

8) Geranium Essential Oil

Known for its emotionally uplifting qualities, Geranium essential oil is used to lessen fatigue and as an antidepressant. It has a feminine, goddess energy to it, helping with self-forgiveness and opening our heart to nurturing our inner child.

In aromatherapy, geranium oil is used to treat acne, sore throat, anxiety, and insomnia. Its antiseptic properties can help speed up the healing of wounds. It works particularly well as a massage oil as it tones and relaxes the muscles.

How to use – Inhaling the oil twice a day and/or rubbing it on the throat and under the nose, will help to clear infection and inflammation. It has been known to prevent neuro-degenerative diseases by clearing neuro-pathways of inflammation, hence very helpful to the brain and also promotes mental agility.

It can be used with sesame seed oil for massages to stimulate the mind and neural function. For foot spas 3-4 drops can be added to warm water with sea salt. It’s not advisable for small children due to the sensitivity of their skin. Blend 10 drops with a good massage essential oil (coconut, olive oils) and use it for body massage for health and fertility.

Caution: Essential oils can produce very strong and significant changes in tiny amounts. They must be used with caution, especially during pregnancy. It is important to consult someone knowledgeable in aromatherapy before experimenting with these oils. This information should not be used to replace medical advice from a doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about health or fitness matters, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.

References

Pine
Geranium
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Lavender

Dropping Your Illusion of Enlightenment

Spirituality

Bhavika

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February 16, 2016

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“In seeking there are several things involved: there is the seeker and the thing that he seeks after. When the seeker finds what he thinks is truth, is God, is enlightenment, he must be able to recognize it. He must recognize it, right? Recognition implies previous knowledge, otherwise you cannot recognize. So a man who is seeking truth lives a life of hypocrisy, because his truth is the projection of his memory, of his desire, of his intentions to find something other than “what is”, a formula. So seeking implies duality — the one who seeks and the thing sought after — and where there is duality there is conflict. There is wastage of energy. So you can never find it, you can never invite it.” ~ J Krishnamurti

Enlightenment has become a goal for many spiritual seekers. You read spiritual books, watch lectures of different gurus or philosophers, read articles on methods of enlightenment, follow practices recommended by different spiritual leaders in the hope that you too achieve enlightenment.

After reading so much about it, you form an image in your head about how an enlightened person should be, the qualities and certain characteristics, the method and tone of speech, the manners, behaviour, so on and so forth.

What is Enlightenment? Is it a state of continuous bliss where no problems affect you in any way? Is it a state that transcends all knowledge and wisdom? Do you achieve it only when you live in a monastery? Is it a clear vision? You begin to form pre-conceived notions and ideas based on the information you have gathered on your journey as described by others, who have perhaps, experienced enlightenment.

How will you know what people are saying is from direct experience? You believe them based on your belief system or faith in that particular teaching. So the goal is to achieve a certain ‘state’ which you haven’t achieved yet, based on what others have ‘experienced’.

How will you know when you actually find it because everyone’s experience is different? Due to our fixed concepts and beliefs ingrained in your mind about enlightenment, it keeps you away from finding or experiencing what it truly is.

I am not saying that the practices you follow are not useful in finding your true nature or dissolving your ego, but at the same time its not something you go looking for, it comes to you. Its like saying I am going to meditate and be enlightened. But, there is still a process of mindfulness and ruthless self interrogation and honesty that has to go hand in hand with meditation to ultimately go beyond illusion entirely.

“Do not cling to anything, to any idea; because clinging is the bondage, even to the idea of enlightenment.” ~ Osho

Talking from personal experience, we often get comments, emails from readers, well-wishers who have a fixed image in their head of how people running a site like Fractal Enlightenment should be. We receive comments like “You guys are enlightened, you shouldn’t be talking like that, you shouldn’t quote a particular person or put up certain content that questions their beliefs.”

But the reality is, we aren’t and never will be the idea or image you may have of us.

We are simple beings who want people to reconnect with nature, have a minimalistic lifestyle and a huge hope that we can all live in harmony with each other. To do so people need to be shifted out of their comfort zones, and we have the joy of ruffling a few feathers in the bargain.:)

This example was to make you understand that when we have an ‘image’ in our head of how things should be, it leads to expectations, which in turn leads to judgments and ends with cognitive dissonance.

Realize that your image or beliefs of everything is just another filter that affects your future experience. Only when you drop that image, stop holding onto beliefs, ideas and all the concepts of enlightenment, can you see what enlightenment is!

Its a constant process of evolving and dropping the veil of illusion, and seeing the interconnectedness of all things.

“Enlightenment is man’s release from his self incurred tutelage. Tutelage is man’s inability to make use of his understanding without direction from another. Self-incurred is this tutelage when its cause lies not in lack of reason but in lack of resolution and courage to use it without direction from another. “Have courage to use your own reason” that’s the motto of enlightenment.”” ~ Immanuel Kant

What is enlightenment? | J. Krishnamurti

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Enlightenment
Martín La Spina

Fractal Enlightenment