“Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger you are always angry. If you resist sadness you are always sad. If you resist suffering you are always suffering. If you resist confusion you are always confused. We think we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.” ~ Adyashanti
On the surface it is completely understandable why we run from negative emotions. They are painful. As soon as our ego senses that pain may be about to emerge it runs into every crevice it can find to hide in.
The truth of the matter is that awareness leads to feeling, which leads to healing. The underlying fear of the ego is that healing means “death,” and this is why it hides at all costs from the light of our awareness.
The ego’s favorite hiding places are in those emotions and belief systems that have been judged as “wrong” by us. As long as we are still under the notion that certain emotions are “wrong” or unacceptable, this creates walls between awareness and these emotions, essentially keeping them alive or in a state of perpetual suffering.
In order to transcend this game of cat and mouse between the ego and our awareness we must come to know that all (believed) emotions/fears are indicative of a part of our subconscious mind that is begging for our attention. No emotions are wrong, and in fact it is quite common to misinterpret the meaning of many of our perceived “negative” feelings.
Looking at our most judged emotions from a new and fresh perspective, one of seeing the emotion as a gift of clarity into a deeper issue rather than the evidence of why we are still “not good enough,” or “not healed yet,” is what will ultimately create the space for awareness to flood into these spaces in our energy field, which leads to lasting healing. So what are some of the emotions that we are most likely misinterpreting?
Below are 4 commonly misinterpreted emotions and a clearer look at the cause of each one:
The ego is formed by attachments to people, places, things, ideas and outcomes it thinks it “needs” or labels it in order to feel alive. The more attached we are to the labels or outcomes that our mind’s are insistent that it requires for happiness, the more “sad” we feel when we lose these things in our life.
However, the initial reaction by the ego is to see sadness as a representation that things are going wrong for us, life has given us yet another detrimental blow and now we are feeling grief and sadness in reaction.
This is true on one level, but a more expanded state of awareness tells us that sadness is only the energetic reaction to life showing us how much we don’t need such and such person, place, or thing in order to feel happy. Essentially the feeling of what we call “sadness” is the ego’s judgment of the physical feeling of losing something it was attached to for identification.
The gift that life often gives us is taking away the one thing we thought we “couldn’t live without,” just to show us how strong we are… still completely alive even without that thing we thought we needed. Knowing this doesn’t make sadness “wrong,” it only helps us to experience sadness as the natural by-product and proof that life is creating space in our lives for newer and better outcomes to come in.
2) Want/feelings of lack
We’ve heard countless law of attraction teachers tell us that “in order to have what you want you must feel as though you already have it.” And this is what that teaching means: How many times have you seen your dream home, someone working at your dream job, your friends in their fantasy relationships and felt a pang of want, like somewhere deep within your being you feel an ache of almost lack because you don’t yet have that thing you want so deeply?
What most don’t know is that very feeling is the universe’s way of telling what’s already not only coming to you, but what is already true in a part of your life’s movie up ahead. Instead of reacting to that pang of want as the proof that your life is still lacking, simply receive it as the universe confirming what’s already on it’s way to you.
It’s as if the universe is reminding you what is coming just to get a sign of your acknowledgment by saying, “oh thank you for reminding me of the blessings already on their way to me,” so that you can anchor the feeling like you have it! Life is never trying to taunt you by showing you what you lack, but rather what is already yours if you would only align with the fulfillment of the desired wish before it comes, not after.
There is a reason why so many spiritual teachers suggest some sort of meditation or relaxation practice. The reason is an over active ego, meaning one driven by fear, “future-oriented” thinking is the direct result of an over-active nervous system.
And as you can guess, the antidote to a reactionary nervous system/fearful ego is calmness and presence.
The more we practice some sort of relaxation techniques the more we calm the nervous system into periods of deep silence, stillness and relaxation which translates into a being who is more rooted in the present moment.
Very rarely are our “worst fears” or even day to day anxieties truly happening in the present moment, more often than not they are happening only in our heads, in imagined scenarios. The more we trust that life only gives us the situations that are there to help us evolve, the calmer we feel everyday and we will be more prone to inner peace.
If you have ever felt extreme frustration with life, “why is this happening to me again?” or “I’m so sick of things being this way I could scream,” you see how the emotion of frustration can have us feeling like we are going insane.
To remedy this, we must be willing to make new choices, to switch things up, to do something we’ve never done in a way we’ve never done it to shake up the energetic stagnation that has resulted from making the same choices over and over and over and getting the same results.
It is very easy to get stuck in ruts, in cycles or timelines that have us manifesting the same things, different day, week after week, or even year after year, so it’s no surprise why some of us feel completely frustrated with our lives.
By encouraging yourself to just choose differently, you set yourself free from complacent and stagnant energy. The choices you make do not have to be big, choosing to eat at a new restaurant, to hang out with someone new, to wear something you wouldn’t normally feel confident enough to wear, or to apply at a job you would normally feel afraid to even attempt, you create energetic shifts in your energy field which are just enough to set you free from your prison of frustration.