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Eudaimonia and the Power of Living in the Tension Between Opposites

“Self-mastery, maturity, and wisdom are defined by our ability to hold the tension between opposites.” ~ Louis G. Herman

What is Eudaimonia?

Eudaimonia is a Greek word that is, etymologically, made up of two words: “eu” (good) and “daimōn” (spirit or genius). But it is much more powerful than that.

The most accurate translation is “human flourishing,” as it encapsulates the highest human good and subsumes the concept arête (virtue and excellence), and is likened to an ancient understanding of self-actualization.

Plato defined it as, “The good composed of all goods; an ability which suffices for living well; perfection in respect of virtue; resources sufficient for a living creature.”

In this article we will analyze how living in the tension between opposites might be the most effective method to give rise to this most elusive type of human flourishing.

The Student-Teacher Dynamic

Plato-Aristotle-by-Raphael“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.” ~ Isaac Newton

We are all teachers just as we are all students. Life is what we teach and life is what we learn. The student creates the teacher by realizing a question and seeking out guidance. The teacher creates the student by providing a sacred space to question while revealing higher states of questioning. The best students ask the most progressive questions.

The best teachers package the most progressive questions into something that can be interrogated by both teacher and student, revealing how the art of trial and error (fallibilism) can lead to awestruck passion and the need for more knowledge.

As far as eudaimonia is concerned, the height of human flourishing is to learn to live in the tension between student and teacher, to move from beginner’s mind to master’s mind and back again. It’s a dance of knowledge between your innocence and your wisdom, back and forth.

One informs while the other humbles. One enlightens while the other reconditions. Pulled between what we know and what we don’t know, and precariously walking that tight-rope with awe-inspired passion, we almost guarantee a profound human flourishing.

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The Apollonian-Dionysian Dynamic

“We should split the sack of this culture and stick our heads out.” ~ Rumi

The Apollonian and Dionysian is a philosophical/archetypal dichotomy, based on Greek mythology. The Apollonian is the wish to create order. It is principled and plastic, revelling in the visual arts: beauty and clarity. It seeks to form boundaries and individuality, celebrating appearances and illusions, self-control, perfection, and creation.

The Dionysian, on the other hand, is the wish for chaos and intoxication. It celebrates nature, the instinctual, and the intuitive. It embraces the wholeness of existence, from orgiastic passion to the dissolution of all boundaries. It seeks excess through free creative expression, while glorifying the art of creating from destruction.

It can be argued that the height of human flourishing is to somehow harness the power of this dynamic dichotomy, to have the ability to create both from order and from chaos, to intermittently honor and stretch all boundaries.

What would such a person be called besides enlightened, individuated, and self-actualized? Daemonic shaman shining dark into light and light into dark? Harmonious up-heaver with a black halo? Lawless peacekeeper with a white shadow? Reasoning intuitive with a squared circle? One who stretches comfort zones into holistic horizons and back again?

Oh the endless progression of human flourishing that awaits those of us who can withstand the tension between these dynamic opposites.

The Senex-Puer Dynamic

“When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: You haven’t.” ~ Thomas Edison

EudaimoniaLogo“Senex” and “puer” are two Jungian archetypes derived from the collective unconscious. Senex is the Latin word for “old person.” Puer is the Latin word for “child.” The senex archetype fosters sobriety, and is realistic and grounded.

When we connect with our inner senex we are mature, patient, and accepting of limits. But without the puer to balance us out, we can become rigid and stuck in our ways, unable to think outside the box or stretch our comfort zones.

The puer archetype, on the other hand, is youthful and enthusiastic about life. When we connect with our inner puer we are imaginative and curious about the world. We are creative and spontaneous and open to the novelty of the universe.

But without the senex to balance us out, we can become imprudent and impulsive, unable to set limits and we can become irresponsible with our power.

In regards to eudaimonia, the senex is the shadow of puer, and puer is the shadow of senex. The more we are able to embrace our shadow, whether we are more senex-like or puer-like, the more we foster our growth into greater consciousness.

The more likely we are to tap into our unique genius and discover our own personal flourishing. The puer softens the senex, while the senex rounds out the puer. The result is nothing short of human genius.

Like Henry Miller said, “The task of genius is to keep the miracle alive, to live always in the miracle, to make the miracle more and more miraculous, to swear allegiance to nothing, but live only miraculously, think only miraculously, die miraculously.”

And there is nothing more miraculous than the ability to hold the tension between opposites and to flourish while doing so.

James Hillman speaks about the Senex & Puer Archetypes

http://youtu.be/99Zo2PxPXx4

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6 Unconventional Ways to Kick Open the Third Eye

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There are many conventional methods of opening the third eye: meditating on the pineal gland, yoga, psychotropic drugs, fasting.

These methods should be utilized as much as moderation and health can allow. But what might be some unconventional methods of opening the third eye?

That’s exactly what we explore in this article. So strap on your apocalyptic sunglasses and jump on the nearest dragon. It’s time to dive right into the six unconventional ways to kick open the third eye.

1.) Search for Dragon Smoke

“In ancient times, in the “time of inspiration,” the poet flew from one world to another, “riding on dragons,” as the Chinese said. The poets dragged behind them long tails of dragon smoke. This dragon smoke means that a leap has taken place in the poem. In many ancient works of art we notice a long floating leap at the center of the work. That leap can be described as a leap from the conscious to the unconscious and back again, a leap from the known part of the mind to the unknown part and back to the known.” ~ Robert Bly

Searching for dragon’s smoke is the search for a kind of sacred knowledge that bridges the gap between finitude and infinity.

Similar to Prometheus traveling to Olympus and back, harboring the secrets of fire, we too can learn the “knowledge of the gods” in between worlds by leaping onto the dragon’s back and taking the plunge into the poetry of the universe.

Whether through the magic of music, enticing the third eye to open using the magic between frequencies, or through the aesthetic of paint, charming the third eye into opening using the magic of colors, the search for dragon smoke compels us to look deeper, to read between the lines, to search for clues to the meaning of it all.

It’s a dive into the unknown without wings, only to return with the secrets of flight. So take the leap. Summon the dragon. Heed the call to adventure.

You’re sure to come up with some fresh perspectives to share with your fellow humans, and even if not, at least you had an adventure, and at least you dared to gaze into the Great Mystery with your third eye open wide.

2.) Unbecome everything

“The real struggle of the heroic individual is not solely to liberate himself from conflict with society, but rather to use the conflict within himself as a source for self-regeneration.” ~ Jennifer Ratner-Rosenhagen

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Maybe the quest for enlightenment isn’t about becoming something. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything so we can simply become our most authentic self. We are all of us exceptionally multilayered.

There are so many layers in fact that it can be quite smothering sometimes, which is probably a big reason why so many of us are walking around with our third eye blind.

Maybe one of the tricks to kicking open the third eye is to shed the superfluous from our souls in order to reveal the sacred vulnerability vibrating at the center of who we are.

Similar to a snake shedding its skin, the Kundalini snake rises up through the seven sacred chakras shedding its skin at each chakra along the way, becoming more and more open to harnessing the sacred energy of the cosmos. It keeps shedding its skin, self-regenerating over and over. We too have this power.

The art of the snake-skin-self is a sacred path of unburdening, a courageous act of shedding the cultural layer, the social layer, the existential layer, the death layer; all of which are like blind folds for the third eye.

Unbecome everything so you can see how everything is connected to everything else.

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3) See the world through apocalyptic sunglasses

“Everything you see has its roots in the unseen.” ~ Rumi

Seeing the world through apocalyptic sunglasses is seeing the many ways that our perceptions either hide or reveal the truth from us.

We’re all born into a world not of our choosing: the Caught-reality. This is the reality into which we emerge. Then there is the world that we are conditioned into perceiving: the Taught-reality.

This is the reality taught to us by our parents and our culture. Then there is the world outside of us in the form of nature and the greater cosmos: the Ought-reality.

This is the reality that is dictated to us by the laws of nature. And finally there is the world that binds it all together: the Sought-reality. This is the reality where we seek balance and equilibrium between all our different ways of perceiving reality.

Apocalyptic sunglasses are neither optimistically rose-colored nor pessimistically black, they are immanently white. They see the way of things. They reveal how we are caught, how we are taught, how we ought to see, and what it is that we seek.

You want to kick open the third eye? Use the apocalyptic sunglasses as a metaphor for seeing the world in a new revealing light.

4) Practice Counter-weltanschauung dynamics

“We can be blind to the obvious, and we are also blind to our blindness.” ~ David Kahneman

Weltanschauung is the German word for worldview. So how can countering our worldview kick open the third eye?

Counter-Weltanschauung Dynamics is a way of questioning and broadening our worldview by first taking stock of our current predicament, through ruthless self-examination, and then entertaining the idea of a polar opposite, so that we may arrive at a more open-minded understanding of our interpretation of the world as a whole.

The ultimate goal of Counter-Weltanschauung Dynamics is to achieve a state of broad-mindedness akin to nature itself; to be able to look upon the world with holistic eyes.

Armed with this particular flavor of empathy, the schism between nature and psyche and between self and other is mended, and the ability to once again be enchanted by the numinous gloriously returns.

There is perhaps no greater opening of the third eye than the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and attempt to see things the way they do.

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5) Practice Faux pas dynamics

“Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs. Therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity or undue depression in adversity.” ~ Isocrates

Allow for unruly interregnum. Throw yourself into the maelstromic air. Harness a giggling mockery of your own earnestness toward ideology by using your spirituality as sacred laughter rather than profane reverence.

Carry a warm helping of humble-pie. Be prepared to throw it in the face of any and all people who taking themselves too seriously, including, especially, yourself. Just remember to be sincere.

A double-jointed Spirituality will surely occur. But don’t let it get to your head. Laugh that halo right off; lest it inadvertently slip down to become the noose that kills your journey.

Keep practicing. Don’t let up. Poke holes in the “holy” and plant seeds of counterintuitive humor. Blaspheme with sacred whimsy and wily wit. Mock all isms with Brouhaha-ism. Laugh at all things, especially those things that people take too seriously.

Practice the egalitarian tactic of reverse-dominance on yourself and on others. Being a walking, talking, proactive ball of laughing transparency is a sure-fire way to keep the powers-that-be checked and balanced while keeping your third eye wide and open.

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6) Practice Crazy Wisdom

“If you need to visualize the soul, think of it as a cross between a wolf howl, a photon, and a dribble of dark molasses. But what it really is, as near as I can tell, is a packet of information. It’s a program, a piece of hyper-spatial software designed explicitly to interface with the Mystery. Not a mystery, mind you, the Mystery. The one that can never be solved.” ~ Tom Robbins

You want to kick open the third eye? Be the link that bridges the gap between youthfulness and maturity; that joins beginner’s mind with wisdom; that blurs the line between the fool and the wise man.

Put away your moral compass. Use, instead, your amoral compass and astonish the world with it. Be a skeptic idealist, a utopian critic, a deconstructing synthesizer, a pragmatic visionary.

Pragmatism without vision never flies, risks nothing, and smothers new ideas before they can even breathe. Vision without pragmatism has no grounding, gets lost in flights of fancy, and has so many ideas jumbled up that it suffers from hyperoxia and never realizes them.

Seek out the smoldering crucible of the Great Mystery. It’s in all things, hidden in plain sight. Use its dancing oblivion to spark all sacred fires. It is the crucial seed that launches all creative flourishing.

You don’t have to be a genius to be creative, but you have to be creative to be a genius. Open the paradigm and ascend.

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Why BEing THE CHANGE Is the Most Effective Method

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world… today I am wise so I am changing myself” ~ Rumi

We are now living in a time unlike any other that the human race has previously seen. We can connect with one another and share information in a matter of a second either through television, Internet, cellphone, satellite radio etc… With all of this new “connectivity” we have these days, it’s no wonder that so many noble souls are using this as an opportunity to try and change the world.

wekosh-positivity-quote-promote-what-you-love-instead-of-bashing-what-you-hateRegardless of whether someone thinks it is the result of the global shift in consciousness or just a natural by-product of us being so connected with one another, there is no doubting that the excessive sharing of information and international friendships that are forming is having an effect on the whole of humanity.

With all the new information being shared about things like where tax-payers money is being appropriated, pharmaceutical companies creating customers not cures, chemtrails, etc.. it’s no wonder that people have gotten riled up.

So much so that they are making it their main focus to tell everyone how messed up things are, how angry they should be, and how outraged they are by the lies. But is this the most effective method? Is getting people angered, frustrated and ready to fight someone going to be the best way to bring change unto the world?

“Dedicating your time to being AGAINST something is the same as dedicating your life to something that you hate; you feed it with your energy. Use what you are against to decide what you are FOR, and pour all of your focus and time and energy into that instead” ~ Teal Swan

We’ve all heard by now that everything in the universe is made of energy, even thoughts and feelings. The energy behind being against something is fear. The mere fact that we are against it indicates that there is a part of us that believes it may be more powerful than us, otherwise why would we spend time and energy being “against” it?

Since our subconscious beliefs manifest as our outer reality, when we spend all of our time focused on what we are afraid of happening instead of what we desire to happen, we are operating from the subconscious belief that we are a victim or in danger of becoming one.

be-the-changeThe underlying belief is “I don’t believe I am powerful enough to be my own solution, I believe other people, the government, the Illuminati, are more powerful than I am, they are a force to be feared therefore I need to spread more fear to everyone else by telling them how angry and outraged they should be.”

The problem with only focusing on what we are against instead of focusing on what we are for is that the energy of fear is lower vibrational energy, which means it’s not as effective or powerful as love, which is a higher vibrational energy.

Not only that, but we must ask ourselves, what exactly is achieved by getting everyone angry and ready to do something unless there is a solution in place?

You can post a million memes about the ways the government or whoever has lied but if you are not promoting one solution to the problem then what exactly have you changed except for the fact that you may have made some more people angry about the same things you are angry about? Almost all people are motivated by pleasure.

If we align ourselves with the solutions instead of the problems we are much more likely to get other people motivated to want to be like us than we would if we are trying to convince them how angry they should be.

The only way to effectively change the way we perceive the world and in effect, change the way we approach changing the world, is to change our relationship with ourselves. Hostile people see a hostile world, whereas peaceful people see a peaceful world.
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So if someone is constantly finding problems and upsets in their external reality it is a perfect time for them to get introspective, look within and deal with their own problems and upsets about themselves. It is only at this point that a person is able to more rooted in compassion, understanding and forgiveness.

It doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to what is happening or we deny that it is happening, it’s just that we become more in vibration with the solutions to the problems instead of the problems themselves.

For example, let’s say a person is against GMO foods. Instead of being focused on how terrible Monsanto is, or how outraged we should be by what they’ve done, they can instead focus on eating organic, they could talk about recipes for non-processed foods, or tell everyone how great they feel and look after cutting out GMO foods from their diet. They have now switched the focus from hate and fear to love.

Or another person may be against war, so instead of talking solely about how we are being lied to and this person and that person are for the war and we need to hate these people, they can focus on war relief.

They can tell people about a charity they can donate to that will help the victims of the war or invite people to pray or participate in mass meditations that are for the countries who are involved in the wars. These methods would be much more effective because it’s actually giving people an actual action to follow and a solution to the “problem”.

we-can-change-the-world“There is no real need to save others, because they will help themselves learning from us, when we choose to shine our light of unconditional love. Through our loving examples others can create for themselves and opportunity to act the way they are inspired by us” ~ Raphael Zernoff

Being the change we wish to see in the world is always going to be more effective than just talking about the fact that things need to change. If we tell people what they need to do or what they should or shouldn’t do they are much less likely to listen. However, when we SHOW them how happy we are or how peaceful we can be in the face of life’s challenges, we let our life be our message.

If people see us being loving, kind, and positive, they are much more likely to ask us how we do it, or to follow our example because it is a human being’s innate nature to want to be cooperative and kind and helpful.

If everyone just turns their attention inward first and foremost, and deals with their own “flaws” and “shortcomings” by practicing unconditional love for themselves first, we can all start to make this world a happier and more peaceful place to live by changing the one thing we for sure have control over…ourselves.

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3 Ways to Transform Bamboozlement into Enlightenment

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“We are all looking around as a global society, all coming to the realization that we’ve been duped. Collectively, we know we must stop going down this road…but how, when we’ve come to rely so heavily on the system that the über-opportunists have created? How, when an entire culture is structured around consumption, inefficiency, and waste – and when so many of us rely on the flawed system for our livelihoods – can we suddenly change course?” ~ Alice Santoro

What does it mean to be bamboozled? It means to be conned, defrauded, tricked, or made a fool of. It’s the imposition, direct or indirect, of an outside force that suckers us into believing that such-and-such is the case, when in fact it is another way altogether. It is the wool that has been pulled over our eyes to blind us from the truth. It’s an authority pointing at an illusion and declaring to the ignorant that it is real.

Irules-obey-conformt is a trusted adult informing an innocent child that something is healthy when it is actually unhealthy, and all because a trusted adult informed that trusted adult that something was healthy when it wasn’t, and so on and so forth. Bamboozlement begets bamboozlement, hence the importance of questioning to the nth degree and knowing the secret of open-mindedness.

Here then are three ways we can transform bamboozlement into enlightenment.

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1) Learn how to turn the tables on cognitive dissonance

“Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are presented with evidence that works against the core belief, the new evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit with the core belief” ~ Frantz Fanon

Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. Things are always in flux. There is no permanence. But it is extremely difficult for human beings to really let this fact sink in. We are rarely ever aware that our personalities are changing, and in the sense that we are aware, we are afraid. The same thing applies to our worldviews.

We are just as unaware that our worldviews are changing as we are unaware that the world is changing. It’s almost as if we need order and consistency so much that we deny that disorder and inconsistency are just as much a dynamic of the human condition. The denial of this inherent disorder and inconsistency is what creates the condition that Leon Festinger refers to as cognitive dissonance.

Turning the tables on cognitive dissonance is learning the ability to live within the tension between opposites. It’s a scary place, but there is much adventure to be had there. Similar to a mythical hero facing down the dark forces of the underworld, our inner-hero comes to the fore to be the one who battles back the forces of deception and betrayal on the one side, and security and certainty on the other side.

It is between these opposites, not giving into either side, where the hero truly shines. Turning the tables on cognitive dissonance is the ability to stand within the flux and remain flexible, to transform the core belief into a malleable confidence.

It’s the willingness to be uncomfortable with new evidence – to really be present with that discomfort – while also being okay with the fact that we still remain an aspect of the outdated system that has yet to embrace the new evidence.

And as long as our intention is to systematically escape bamboozlement and to help others to escape it, then we should not be too hard on ourselves, or on others. But we should be hard enough.

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2) Learn how to appreciate pitfalls and setbacks

“One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozlement. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozlement has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.” ~ Carl Sagan

Similar to learning to live within the tension between opposites, learning to live between the experience of success and setbacks is extremely important. Learning to experience the joy that comes with embracing inconveniences is a very sacred joy, as it fully immerses us in the here-and-now, forcing us to feel the pain of the experience and to transform it into new knowledge. It’s another way of finding meaning within the meaninglessness.

But we must first admit that we’ve been taken. We must be able to get a grip on the fact that we’ve been fooled. When we appreciate our setbacks in the here-and-now, we set ourselves up for success in the future. We open ourselves up to finding out the truth. The current pitfall could hold the tools necessary to create tomorrow’s victory.

Have no illusions, the current debacle that is our declining, devolving culture, is a setback of monumental proportions. It is a towering monstrosity of failure. It’s the ultimate pitfall. But you know what? That’s okay. It has to be okay. It must be embraced in all its hellish glory, so that we can move on.

It must be appreciated for exactly how unhealthy and unsustainable it is for human beings and for the planet, so that we can pick up the pieces and create something new. There is knowledge in the pain, but we have to allow ourselves to feel it before we can learn from it.

There are piles of gold hidden beneath all that shit, but we have to deal with the shit first in order to retrieve it. Just as we have the ability to learn from our mistakes, personally, we have the ability to learn from our mistakes, culturally.

The bamboozlement is what it is. There’s nothing we can do to change the fact that we’ve been bamboozled. We cannot control the people who are trying to bamboozle us. But we can control how we react to that bamboozlement. We can appreciate it for what it is, and then learn from the charlatan’s catastrophically bad example of how not to behave.

3) Learn how to get power over power

“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

The secret to getting powwolf_in_sheeps_clothinger over power can be found in a single word: prestige. It all at once encompasses the concepts of respect, distinction, and power. A person can have tons of money, but if they don’t have wisdom then they do not have prestige.

A person can be successful, but if they don’t have self-respect, as well as respect for others, then they do not have prestige. A person can be powerful, but if they don’t have compassion then they do not have prestige. And if a person has wisdom, self-respect, and compassion even without wealth, success, or power, then they still have prestige.

At the end of the day, prestige is the truer power. The problem is: our culture has it completely backwards. A huge aspect of the Great Bamboozlement is the fact that our culture puts power before prestige. It overvalues “the spectacle.”

Like Alexander Lowen wrote, “When wealth occupies a higher position than wisdom, when notoriety is admired more than dignity, when success is more important than self-respect, the culture itself over-values “image” and must be regarded as narcissistic.”

So what are we to do in the face of such rampant narcissism? There’s no simple answer.

Getting power over power is, somehow, discovering personal prestige despite the aggrandizement of false power. To truly get power over power, it is not enough to simply be content with the bamboozlement, we must will ourselves into a disclosure of being by revealing the bamboozlement and the charlatans who set it into motion.

Otherwise we become nothing more than shadow-puppets of an aggrandized pseudo-reality. We must transform the charlatan’s false stage into a platform of prestige. We must transform ourselves from shadow-puppets into sincere thespians.

We must replace the inadequate props and crutches that are holding up the house-of-cards of the bamboozlement with the solid foundation and sustainable fortitude of Truth. As long as our ritual of power is wrapped up in money, then we are merely pseudo-powerful. But if our ritual of power is symbolized through prestige, then we are authentically powerful.

The way we gain prestige in a world that recognizes only money as power, is to get power over money and use it as a tool for progressively sustainable interdependence.

One way to get power over money is through the concept of capital munificence: the expiation and reciprocity of wealth with emphasis on holistic and eco-moral compassion. A tall order, indeed, but nothing short of the health of the world, and the health of each other, hangs in the balance.

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Listening to Your Inner Voice: Is Your Head or Your Heart Doing All the Talking?

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“You must listen to your heart and follow it or it will find a million ways to remind you that there is something missing.” ~ Unknown

Probably one of the most cliché phrases we hear in spirituality circles is, “follow your heart.” Everyone is telling everyone to follow their heart, listen to their inner knowing, and follow their intuition, etc.

Unfortunately, the heart doesn’t have a loud booming voice that comes from the heavens and tells us exactly what we should or shouldn’t do. Nor does it hang signs and banners in front of us telling us “go this way” or “don’t go that way.”

So how do we know which of our inner voices to listen to? How do we know if we are making decisions from our heart or if we are listening to our head?

Is your head or your heart doing all the talking? Here are 4 ways to find out

Is Your Head or Your Heart Doing All the Talking

The Conditioning

It’s important to remember first and foremost that we are born with the natural inclination to follow our hearts. A baby doesn’t make any decisions from its head, all decisions are based upon how it feels.

If the baby feels happy it giggles, if it feels angry or hungry it will cry and scream, it has no thought of how ridiculous it looks to have been laughing one second and the next be wailing and crying.

Over time we lose this natural ability to just handle life based purely on our body’s energy and cues, because we start to learn the social “norms”. We discover which behaviors are “appropriate” and which aren’t and we start to form our personalities based on how we think, not only society but also how our family and friends expect us to behave and live our lives.

All of this listening to other people and their opinions and standards for what is a “good” life or what is a “good” job or what is “bad” one, leads us straight into our analytical selves (our head), and straight away from our true feelings (our heart).

We mull over decisions from the perspective of what is “good” and what is “bad” or what is “acceptable” and what is “unacceptable” based purely on our programming, which is a collection of the data we have collected from television, parents, culture, society, book’s we’ve read, etc…

The problem is that most people do not consciously know that their heads are filled with a collection of things they’ve read, heard on television, or heard their friends say. They actually think they are generating all of their thoughts on their own, which makes it even harder for them to discern between which thoughts are coming from their head and which are intuitive nudges from their heart.

So if operating from our heart is what comes naturally, and operating from our head is what we have learned over time, it’s safe to say that the unlearning of listening to our mind chatter and getting back to our natural way of dealing with life is where we should start differentiating between head vs heart.

“The quieter you become the more you can hear” ~ Ram Dass

UNlearning to Relearn

Forget everything you think you know about how life should be. Shed every “should do”, “shouldn’t do”, that you’ve heard from people in your life. Everyone you meet is going to have an opinion on what the right kind of life is to have or the right decision to make, but the only person who can truly make that decision for you is you.

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Of course this is easier said than done because our programming is so ingrained in our heads, but once you start to disconnect from all of your past programming you will find that your mind gets a little quieter.

Since the mind is divisive in nature, it wants to label each decision as right or wrong, good or bad. This is what it is always doing, no matter what. Almost all fear and doubt is coming from your mind, and I say “almost” because there are actual instances when you will be in danger, in which case a natural intuitive fear will come about, but these are rare occasions.

Release from Internal Conflict

While the heart KNOWS what to do, the mind THINKS it knows what to do… and then it’s not sure, and then it is sure, and then it’s not sure again. It goes back and forth between “should I” and “shouldn’t I.”

Anytime we are caught in an internal conflict such as this, we can be assured this is coming from our head and not our heart. The heart however, operates from contraction and expansion. Contraction is when our body tenses up, we may feel short of breath or our chest will feel tight.

Expansion makes us feel lighter, like we can breathe better, like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders. Sometimes following our heart will make us feel a little scared too, because it may involve us making a huge life change, but when we are trying to make an ultimate decision, we notice that one decision will feel stifling, suffocating, and limiting, and one will feel like anxious excitement.

Walk yourself through the fear

It’s important that we are able to decipher which is which. Excitement about the future is always a good sign that a decision is coming from our heart. If you are noticing that lots of fear is popping up in your decision-making, become fluent in the language of fear. Does the fear stem from what other people will think about you?

Does it stem from making a ‘wrong’ decision and then regretting it later? Both of these are coming from the head, they are based on the programming again of what life should or shouldn’t be like. If we just remember, the head thinks and the heart feels, we can start to be more in touch with the cues our bodies are sending us instead of the fear and doubt that our minds are generating.

Everyone has that little voice in their head telling them “you can’t do it,” “you’ll never succeed,” or “it’s going to be too hard or take too much time, so why even try?”… Everyone. Once you realize this voice is lying to you, a whole new realm of possibilities opens up for you.

What if you knew, like REALLY knew that anything was possible? How would your life change? The more you stop believing in that little fear voice that likes to instill doubt in you, the more you realize that those thoughts aren’t popping up at all anymore.

At this point you can follow what is coming naturally to you, maybe it’s moving away, or maybe it’s painting, or maybe it is writing or making music, it doesn’t really matter what the decision is. When we start doing things that intuitively bring us joy and excitement we will start the ball rolling on our expansion of our heart and our true self.

Living our life from our heart will FEEL good, so little by little we start to trust this little intuition feeling instead of the thoughts stemming from our minds and slowly but surely our life starts to unfold into a spontaneous set of exciting circumstances, instead of a controlled, rigid and fear based existence.

Then our heart becomes our ‘go-to’ guy in decision making, which makes life not only completely unexpected, but also amazing.

Living with Courage: Embracing Fear to Follow Your Heart: Kelley Kalafatich at TEDxBend

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Follow your heart
Heart & child