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Worthiness: Why You Should Stop Hustling for yours Now!

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“Worthiness has no prerequisites.” ~ Brene Brown

There is something very important that so many of us have forgotten. Something that is our birthright, that is ours for the taking and will ultimately completely transform our lives for the better if we could just remember this one thing.

embrace-worthiness

This thing was given to us the moment we took our first breath in this world, that we inherited the minute we were born. The gift I am speaking of is worthiness. We came into this world completely perfect, but what many do not realize is, our perfection never stopped.

As the years passed, we began to compare our selves, our lives to the material items we possessed and we deemed ourselves ‘not good enough’, or ‘not rich enough’, ‘not attractive enough,’ etc. We drifted further and further away from this worthiness.

We began to believe “them”, the people who insulted us, called us names or mistreated us, or the pictures in the magazines and the celebrities we saw on TV, all subconsciously telling us over and over, “you must be like me in order to be worthy and valued.”

But alas, here I am, writing this article to remind you. Yes, you, the one who feels like a failure, the one who thinks they are worthless unless they make more money, lose weight, get married, have a child, whatever. I’m here to remind you of what is and always has been yours, waiting for you to unwrap this present so that you may come into alignment with what the universe has known about you all along, you are worthy and priceless.

How to Believe it

“I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred. Perhaps embracing vulnerability and overcoming numbing is ultimately about care and feeding of our spirits.” ~ Brene Brown

Now it’s no secret that saying that we are something is a completely different story than actually believing it. To believe something will take more time and nurturing within our being.

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To truly believe one is worthy of love, abundance, happiness and joy doesn’t generally happen overnight. It’s going to take some time to unravel years and years of self-judgments, criticisms made by others, belief systems that took us away from it, and in some more severe cases emotional or mental abuse that may have occurred.

The good news, however, is that deep within all of our hearts is a part of us that knows this worthiness is ours. Even if that part of us is blanketed by years of emotional trauma, dysfunctional relationships, or substance abuse, it’s still there and just hearing the words, “I am worthy,” makes it’s ears perk up in attention.

The most effective tools we can use in this process are patience, compassion, and kindness. We must speak to ourselves from a place of deep understanding and compassion and stop beating ourselves up for ‘not getting it right,’ be patient with ourselves during the process and show our own hearts empathy and love.

We must rebuild and heal the relationship we have with whatever part of us that still doesn’t feel good enough. And the first step is only to accept this part of ourselves, as is. Don’t try to change it. Simply be ok with anger, or insecurity, or fear. Let it be exactly as it is, recognizing it as just as valuable part of the universe as happiness or joy.

And even if there’s a part of you that doesn’t know how to or is scared to accept unworthiness as is, then let the part of you that doesn’t know how to accept something they don’t like be ok to just be. Soon with no judgments against them, no criticisms against your most honest and vulnerable admissions to yourself, they will begin to heal.

Not because you forced them to, but because they were so unconditionally loved and accepted that they soon had no place to fester, and could only be absorbed back into the light of your being. The more we align with this perspective of being the unconditional love that accepts all our painful emotions as they are, without judgment, the more we align with our divinity, which ultimately awakens the belief of worthiness as a natural by-product.

Anything we see as sacred (and in this case ourselves) will begin to subconsciously take on the attributes of just that. To see something as sacred is to see it as special, divine, unique, completely and utterly worthy of love and adoration.

Worthiness will transform our lives 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

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To align with the belief that we are worthy will have lasting positive effects on our lives. Not only will we feel better, more confident, happier and less afraid to follow our passions, but we will also begin to attract more blessings that affirm our belief.

To feel valuable as a person is to expect the best. We expect people to treat us respectfully, we treat ourselves respectfully and we stop settling for people, places and things that are not in our highest interest because we expect to be fulfilled.

Often beings who do not feel worthy will stay stuck in situations well past their expiration because they align with situations that re-enforce their subconscious belief about themselves. Is it any wonder that those with low self-worth and insecurities are also the ones who seem to put up with situation in which they are treated as such?

As we align with our true nature, we align with our highest qualities. Soon the worthiness we begin to feel, that is coming from a genuine and authentic place within, begins to transform our lives into a living message of what it means to align with the light within.

As our light grows and we become unashamed and proud to shine brighter than ever before, we give others the permission to do the same.

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Sun coming through the clouds

Touching the Divine: 10 Signs You’ve had a Mystical Experience

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“I don’t think the mystical experience can be verbalized. When the ego disappears, so does power over language.” ~ W.H. Auden

Mystical Experience

Temporarily stepping out of reality into a no-time, no-space dimension, reaching for the Divine as the Divine reaches back, realizing the interconnected nature of all things, looking into the eyes of God, becoming one with all – that is, awakening… these are all attempts to describe the indescribable: a mystical experience.

But what is mysticism exactly, and how do you know if you’ve had a mystical experience yourself?

Although a clear and precise description is hard to pinpoint, mysticism is generally deemed as a communication, union, or extraordinary experience with the Divine.

While religious ecstasy, intuitive insights, and enlightenment all fall under its broad definition, the indescribable qualities of a mystical experience remain as elusive as an exact comprehension of its meaning.

This may be due, in part, to the reluctance of the experiencer. As anyone who has had a mystical experience likely realizes, sharing it may involve subjecting yourself to the misinterpretation, skepticism and even condemnation of others.

Couple this with the diminishing effect that occurs when you try to put into words that which lies beyond normal comprehension, and it’s no wonder that most experiencers make the choice to keep the details to themselves.

Nonetheless, mystical experiences do not seem to discriminate. It is possible for anyone, no matter their belief, background, age or location, to experience the extraordinary. In fact, it is possible that we may all have a mystical experience at some point in life, but we either do not share it with others, or we dismiss it to ourselves because we can’t comprehend or categorize what occurred.

Have you had a mystical experience? If so, how do you know? Fortunately, the recorded attempts of others to describe the mystical offer some distinct correlations to help you decide.

Mystical Experience

Here are 10 signs that indicate you have had a mystical experience:

  • The experience is so extraordinary and unusual that it defies explanation. It cannot be debunked or written off to chance.
  • You feel an intimate connection to something that is vast, mysterious, and infinite – and it makes you realize that you are much larger than your individual identity.
  • There is a sense of time standing still while the experience is occurring.
  • You cannot find words to describe it to others, and attempting to do so seems to lessen and trivialize the experience.
  • It occurs quickly, takes you by surprise, and typically does not last very long.
  • You feel no need to justify, prove, validate, or share the experience with others. It becomes personal, private, and sacred to you.
  • There is no tangible quality to link the experience to the physical world, yet it seems more intense and real than your normal, waking life. The details are easy to recall, and they remain sharp and clear in memory.
  • After the experience, life seems to be infused with new energy, and vitality and you become more positive and creative as a result.
  • You no longer feel separate from others or the environment, but instead realize a sacred harmony with all aspects of life.
  • You are deeply altered by the experience, and your perceptions are forever changed.

“I firmly believe that all human beings have access to extraordinary energies and powers. Judging from accounts of mystical experience, heightened creativity, or exceptional performance by athletes and artists, we harbor a greater life than we know.” ~ Jean Houston

the_world_in_his_hands_by_saviourmachine

If you’ve had a mystical experience, you will decide to either dismiss it or embrace it. However, if you choose to dismiss it you may be missing the opportunity of a lifetime, for a mystical experience is a gift. To embrace it means to open your heart so you can encompass more love and compassion.

It means to broaden your perspective of life so you can accept all of it, the good and the bad. And it means to expand your awareness so you can see the connective nature of your reality. Knowing this is to know comfort, security and peace as you live out the rest of your life.

Whether you choose to keep a mystical experience to yourself or not, it does not matter. To seek validation from others about the experience is not necessary. What does matter is that you recognize it, embrace it, and allow it to work its magic as it expands your capacity for the extraordinary.

Image source

Human and angel
Creation
World in handsThe Non-existing residue

4 Illuminating Parables to Unearth Your Buddha Nature

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“As human beings we have the same experience of destructive and constructive emotions. We also have a human mind capable of developing wisdom. We all have the same Buddha nature.” ~ Dalai Lama

Buddha nature means discovering one’s true potential. Each one of us inherently have the potential to purify our mind, reach a higher mental state and overcome suffering. But the manifestation of this nature is prevented because our mind is buried under the load of unwanted thoughts and worldly desires, either due to our circumstances or conditioning.

Like the moon hidden behind the clouds, is not moved by them as its purity remains untarnished.Similarly, we shouldn’t be deluded into thinking that this defiled mind is our true mind or real nature.

If we continually remind ourselves of this fact and strive to awaken within ourselves the pure mind of Enlightenment. “The mind that is not disturbed by things as they occur, that remains pure and tranquil under all circumstances, is the true mind and should be the master.”

“We cannot say that an inn disappears just because the guest is out of sight; neither can we say that the true self has disappeared when the defiled mind which has been aroused by the changing circumstances of life has disappeared. That which changes with changing conditions is not the true nature of mind.” ~ from The Teaching of the Buddha

Here are four parables to remind you of your Buddha nature and look beyond the delusions of the mind and find your real self, taken from The Teachings of Buddha

Parable 1 –

parables

Once upon a time a man looked into the reverse side of a mirror and, not seeing his face and head, he became, insane. How unnecessary it is for a man to become insane merely because he carelessly looks into the reverse side of a mirror!

It is just as foolish and unnecessary for a person to go on suffering because he does not attain Enlightenment where he expects to find it. There is no failure in Enlightenment; the failure lies in those people who, for a long time, have sought Enlightenment in their discriminating minds.

Without realizing that theirs are not true minds, but imaginary minds that have been caused by the accumulation of desires and illusions that cover and hides the real mind.

Parable 2 –

There is an old story told of a man who fell into a drunken sleep. His friend stayed by him as long as he could but, being compelled to go and fearing that he might be in want, the friend hid a jewel in the drunken man’s garment. When the drunken man recovered, not knowing that his friend had hid a jewel in his garment, he wandered about in poverty and hunger. A long time afterwards the two men met again and the friend told the poor man about the jewel and advised him to look for it.

Like the drunken man of the story, people wander about suffering in this life of birth and death, unconscious of what is hidden away within themselves.

Parable 3 –

There is a story of a wrestler who used to wear an ornament on his forehead of a precious stone. One time when he was wrestling, the stone was crushed into the flesh of his forehead. He thought he had lost the gem and went to a surgeon to have the wound dressed. When the surgeon came to dress the wound, he found the gem embedded in the flesh and covered over with blood and dirt. He held up a mirror and showed the stone to the wrestler.

Buddha-nature is like the precious stone of this story: it becomes covered over by the dirt and dust of other interests and people think that they have lost it, but a good teacher recovers it again for them.

This nature exists in everyone no matter how deep it has been covered by greed, anger and foolishness, or buried by the person’s own deeds and retribution. Buddha-nature can not be lost or destroyed; and when all defilements are removed, sooner or later it will reappear.

Like the wrestler in the story who was shown the gem buried in his flesh and blood by means of a mirror, so people are shown their true selves, buried beneath their worldly desires and passions, by means of the light of Buddha.

Parable 4 –

Once upon a time, a king gathered some blind men about an elephant and asked them to tell him what an elephant was like. The first man felt a tusk and said an elephant was like a giant carrot; another happened to touch an ear and said it was like a big fan; another touched its trunk and said it was like a pestle; still another, who happened to feel its leg, said it was like a mortar; and another, who grasped its tail said it was like a rope. Not one of them was able to tell the king the elephant’s real form.

Similarly, if you try to define the nature of man, we would probably end up covering the flaws and the perfections. Not many of us are capable of fathoming our awakened selves or this nature of mind, given the fact that it is so rare to find awakened people.

Resource

Quote source

7 Taoist Meditation Techniques from the Taoist Watercourse Tradition

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“The water endlessly flows and fills, up to a certain limit, the corners it is flowing through; the water is not “afraid” of any dangerous place, of any “falling” and there is nothing making it lose its essence. Under all circumstances, it remains equal to its nature.” ~ Richard Wilhelm

The Chinese Watercourse tradition of Taoism uses water, which ‘takes the form of the objects it touches’ as an analogy for our meditation practice and a way of accessing the Tao.

Water provides the perfect model for Taoist conduct, and various techniques such as Non-doing and Emptiness continue this analogy as a poetic illustration of how we might live and interact with each other.

The Watercourse Tradition, as most famously written about in Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, gently guides the practitioner from the physical and being rooted in the body, to the emotional – in particular to destructive emotions and how to deal with them – and finally the spiritual; emptiness and our karma, and how we exist in broader dimensions.

I have attempted to group the meditations as such and, although I realize that the complexities of this tradition should be passed down through practice and will never be fully explained here, I use them with the intention that the techniques outlined will inspire your spiritual journey rather than dictate it. Further reading links are available at the end of the article.

The Body/Physical

1859a35f55bb6543ebb72a74e6d120b1The first layer when approaching meditation is to become aware of the body. How we hold stress in our bodies can be reflective of our habits and inspire the selection and release of them.

Addressing this vein of Taoist meditation can involve a study of Chinese medicine, Ch’i Kung (also known as Qigong) and Tai Chi. The idea of commencing with the physical, as you might first become aware of the sounds around you and the weight of your body and its subtle shifts as you begin a sitting, is to gently shed the stresses of everyday living.

Gods Meditating in the Clouds:

This technique is essentially Ch’i Kung, but unites Taoist meditations with controlled breathing as you would in South East Asian meditation practices such as Yoga. It is designed to help circulate blood and Chi (life force), strengthen our internal organs and connect us to the Whole.

Apparently it was Taoist Grand Master Liu Hung Chieh’s favourite technique and offers a great way to combine movement with meditation. As with any practice, the more Ch’i Kung is implemented into our daily routine – preferably outside with bare feet on the earth – the more it connects us with our vital life force.

In times I have practiced Ch’i Kung, I have felt a warm vibrating energy between my palms, and have felt my energy double within just a few days of practising it.

Clearing the organs:

My guess is that this combines with Chinese medicine in order to first diagnose which organs are depleted and need care and attention. Eating the correct yin or yang foods; to warm or cool the body and also those directly linked to the organs that require strengthening is an integral part of this meditation.

The description of this meditation from my online source literally says: Moving Chi into organs that are depleted to recharge them.

The Emotional

The second layer of meditation comes to studying our negative or destructive emotions such as jealousy, anger and hate. In first observing and gradually becoming aware of them, we can then detach from them. The second layer, as I’m interpreting it also bleeds in to a realization of the nature of mind and where our thoughts come from.

That they are arising from our subconscious, and even deeper than that, the interdependent Whole or collective consciousness.

Buddhist monks chant at Pongour Falls, the largest waterfall in Dalat, Vietnam.

Opening Your Central Channel:

Working with the chakras and an individual’s aura is the first technique, and one which acts as a bridging exercise to move on to shedding the next layer during meditation.

In refining and balancing core energies the individual can begin to finish cleansing their physical being and find themselves calmer and more in tune with the etheric body.

Inner dissolving/The Gentle Rain:

I think this quote sums up this technique beautifully: “Like water wears away rock, Taoist Inner Dissolving wears away obstacles to our spiritual growth, leading us gently inward to our being and helping us to fully live our daily lives.

The ‘inner dissolving’ process is especially effective for helping individuals to become aware of their hidden motivations and enabling them to change or eliminate those that they no longer find useful, ultimately leading students to balance and harmony with themselves and with the universe around them.” (Source at bottom of page)

‘Wu-Wei’ or Non-Doing:

In this technique, Taoist philosophy returns to the lesson of being like water. In ‘non-doing’ we actually achieve so much without the burden of stress. Releasing armour built up against others and employing the popular truism ‘letting go’; of habits, of grasping, of resistance to what Is. Water has no external goal and in not in competition with anything; not even itself. It is always busy and never stops, yet it is one of the most life giving and nurturing eco-systems in existence.

bennyanderson_rightsofeternalharmony_taoist_artIn the pursuit of learning, every day something is acquired.
In the pursuit of Tao, every day something is dropped.
Less and less is done
Until non-action (wu-wei) is achieved.
When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.
The world is ruled by letting things take their course.
It cannot be ruled by interfering. (Translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English).

The Spiritual

The fourth layer we reach during meditation is that of the intuition and psychic influences. This might also encompass our past lives and unresolved karma. In becoming aware of this we are able to actively observe and resolve these aspects of our being through mindful conduct. We are able to learn who we really are and reconnect where once we may have felt cut off.

Cosmic Resonance Meditation:

Moving inward now the petty monkey-mind of the unconscious human is peeling back, the cosmic resonance meditation aids the individual in transforming the energies of the space they are creating (and the mindful selection of the thoughts and words they now choose to speak), the practitioner is able to address their place in the universe as well as their innermost selves.

The true self and its potential is ready there waiting for them and they might begin to listen to the profound silence of the Whole and let it embody them. The individual can begin to merge with the Whole and the true nature of mind; a wide open space where they become the creator.

4e22c1ec-cb67-46c6-9971-6b7175e63606_acf6c8615df71dd56c3a2e39b49781f2‘Wu’ or Jump into emptiness.

On Emptiness: “The thirty spokes unite in the one nave; but it is on the empty space (for the axle), that the use of the wheel depends. Clay is fashioned into vessels; but it is on their empty hollowness, that their use depends. The door and windows are cut out (from the walls) to form an apartment; but it is on the empty space (within), that its use depends. Therefore, what has a (positive) existence serves for profitable adaptation, and what has not that for (actual) usefulness.” (Legge)

In the Yin/Yang sense, in the eyes of non-duality, Emptiness is the opposite of Fullness and may also be interpreted as being without desire or prejudices.

Having become at peace with themselves, the individual has peeled back all the layers that meditation can offer and now they only need to use their selves as a guide to work towards enlightenment, the ‘goal’ of meditation. In being like water, the final step is to dissolve that final desire and become enlightened rather than seek it.

Simple Guided Meditation | Deep Relaxation with Taoist Monk | Wu Wei Wisdom

Further Reading:

Taoist Meditation
Lao Tzu watercourse way

Image sources

Yin Yang

Forgiving Childhood: How To Be The Parent You Never Had In 4 Steps

“Traumatic events, by definition, overwhelm our ability to cope (…) We often unconsciously stop feeling our trauma partway into it, like a movie that is still going after the sound has been turned off. We cannot heal until we move fully through that trauma, including all the feelings of the event.”~ Susan Pease Banitt, The Trauma Tool Kit: Healing PTSD from the Inside Out

1ae8dc9c4b61ad1c00241eacbde34ba0An abusive, traumatic or neglected childhood often means that as a child you had at least one caregiver that failed to deliver your basic needs; to be loved unconditionally, listened to and understood, fed, clothed, washed and nurtured.

You may have received all of this but been exposed to traumatic events such as sexual abuse or domestic violence. Even just witnessing these sorts of tensions will traumatize an individual, especially a child who has no frame of reference and will interpret such events as universal truths about the way people and the world works.

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