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5 Ways to Make Failure Your Ally

Bhavika
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5 Ways to Make Failure Your Ally

During my childhood days, I was always told that if I didn’t perform well in school exams, I would never succeed in life.

Be it in school or at home, failure was always looked down upon as some stigma that would haunt you for the rest of your life. Words of encouragement were rare, and at a ripe age, they played a big role in determining the course of your life.

School is a common ground that breeds competition and favoritism – teacher’s pets were always the ones who outperformed the rest.

This leaves an indelible mark on the mind of a child who starts to feel incompetent and fears failure. Failure is viewed as an obstacle rather than a stepping stone to becoming better.

Here are 5 ways to make failure your ally ~

1) Failure is our Biggest Teacher

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” ~ Confucius

Failure shows us our strengths and weaknesses. It brings into spotlight the areas we need to work on – whether its in your career, professional life, studies, sports of any kind – failure is our biggest teacher. If you don’t change your perception of it, you will always struggle to rise up when the chips are down. Its the driving force behind success. Some of the great names have failed too.

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2) Failure gives us time to Rethink

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~ Denis Waitley

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It gives you the opportunity to reevaluate the situation and turn things around. You can focus on your weaknesses and understand where you are going wrong, how you can improvise and relearn.

Many times during our journey with Fractal enlightenment when we have hit rock bottom (like a drop in revenue or traffic to the site) we have had to gather ourselves and put our minds and heart to it, and find newer ways to come out of the slump.

When you really put your heart to something you want to achieve, more often than not, you see a positive outcome.

3) Failure takes you closer to your Authentic Self

Making mistakes is part of the learning process, pointing out the inherent nature of human fallibility. People who think are perfect are afraid of facing their insecurities. Failure strips you naked, shedding all the inessential and bringing you closer to your real self.

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ~ Maya Angelou

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4) Failure stretches your Comfort Zone

It kicks you out of your comfort zone, compels you to shake things up and to stop being complacent. When things come easy, or you achieve your goal without any obstacles, ugh..stop…doesn’t sound right, failure is part of the journey! It compels you to innovate, to think outside the box, to twist and turn your creative hat until you gain clarity in the situation.

5) Failure tests your Limits

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

There have been moments in life where I’ve just wanted to give up, I’ve felt unworthy and discouraged to keep going on. In retrospect, these moments are a test of your will; the will to keep moving forward despite the odds.

As difficult as it sounds, its the willingness to change, to rise up and shine, to turn woe-is-me attitude into ‘I can do it’. You only need a ray of light to come out of darkness. Even if you feel there is no end in sight, learn to accept, ride the wave until you reach the shore.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Success, failure and the drive to keep creating | Elizabeth Gilbert

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Practical Ideas for Celebrating Christmas with Your Kids

Lauren
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Practical Ideas for Celebrating Christmas with Your Kids

“While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about.” ~ Angela Schwindt

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Christmas, Yule or Midwinter is traditionally the time when we retreat into our homes and create warm and loving little nests as the longest night approaches.

Greenery is brought into our homes, candles are lit, and families turn their attention to the younger members to enchant them with stories and magic. You don’t have to belong to a particular religion to reap the rewards of the festive season, and there are many traditions to draw from to create your perfect Christmas.

Here are some ideas for Conscious Parenting at this special time in our calendars:

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Build an Angel Garden.

Instead of Santa’s Grotto, why not break with brand-based tradition and create a new one? An angel garden can be easily constructed a week or two before Christmas and will bring pure magic to little one’s minds and hearts.

Make a pathway through the garden or house decorated with candles and greenery, or small shrines placed along the way.

This builds the tension and is like a mini art installation; perhaps begin with a mineral shrine, decorated with crystals and rocks, then a plant one, then an animal one, then a human. You can make small felted figures if you fancy splashing out or the simplest cut out gold stars can be equally magical.

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At the end of the pathway (why not build a tunnel?! Fire safety permitting – beware of candles) have an angel statue surrounded by greenery and tea lights, or better yet, a member of the family dressed as an angel.

It’s better if the children don’t actually know the person, so they believe it’s a real angel, but not essential. Have the person hand the children simple crafted or natural gifts (a feather and a scroll with a Christmas poem on, a pinecone fairy, a felt star pocket with some biscuits in – anything!)

This activity can be a family one, or you could extend it and put it on for all the neighbourhood children. Either way this experience will stay with them forever.

Make a Kindness Basket

Get the children to make a basket of their own inspired gifts or messages of kindness to hand out. These can be chocolates with messages such as ‘You are loved’ wrapped around them or gifts similar to the angel garden ones.

Get your children to take the basket with them when you go late night shopping, or to a carol concert or nativity show and hand them out. The more the children direct this the better; let this activity be entirely their thing. Then they can see the results of their actions and how it lights people’s hearts.

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Put on a Christmas Show

Rehearse and put on a show to be performed on Christmas eve or Christmas day. This could be a performance of the Twelve Days of Christmas with the lyrics changed (think tailoring it to your family or town/situation i.e on a meditation retreat in Greece we did Eight folding paths, Twelve Gods of Greece, Three Hari Oms etc!!)

It could also be a puppet show – perhaps put on entirely by the children. You don’t even need a traditional ‘stage’ – just set up the toys in a scene and let them create a story in front of the whole family. For example a blue cloth for the river, a building block bridge and a small knitted cat could be transformed in to puss in boots or something from their own imagination. Either way it’ll be entertaining.

Wishing Boats

Wishing boats are half walnut shells with melted wax and wicks to make small candles that are then placed in a home-made ‘lake’ in the house. You could make a miniature one in a bowl or try something bigger like a bath tub!

Decorate in with greenery and sticks – whatever you feel inspired to use – turn the lights down (the darker the better, you may need to blackout the windows) and invite each member of the family to come and light one of the walnut candles, making a wish as they do so, and then placing it on the surface of your homemade lake.

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Create a Crystal Cave

Cover one or two crystals in thick Plaster of Paris and invite children to chip away until they find the treasure!  Better still, isolate one room to do this in, black out the windows and give them torches or helmets with torches on so they feel like they were really in a cave.

Build a Gratitude or Advent Table

This is an extension of the Waldorf-inspired seasonal table that you might have all year-round, but with a twist. For the month of December get your children to place a small bead/holly leaf/feather etc on the table stating what they are grateful for that day. You can lead the way by doing yours first, and you might find that for the first few days they repeat what you said, but after that they begin to think of their own things.

How to Make Waldorf Paper Window Stars

This ritual – which usually serves as an ideal accompaniment to the usual bedtime routine – can be combined or done separately to the advent table. The advent table is usually a table which you build upon on the four Sundays before Christmas. It’s very Christian but is a tradition that doesn’t need any mention of Christ or the three wise men.

Simply light an extra candle on each Sunday as it passes, or, do something similar to the mineral/plant/animal/human sequence as suggested in the angel garden. For example, on the first Sunday add the minerals – rocks and crystals as well as light the first candle, and so on.

On the ‘human’ Sunday you could add the nativity figures if you wanted or perhaps a little gnome, even a photo of a deceased loved one you want to remember. These sorts of rituals can be adapted to any beliefs and preferences, and that’s the beauty of them.

I would love to hear of any other rituals or traditions that people like to do with their children. If you have any, please ‘donate’ them in the comment section below.

Image Sources
Christmas Gathering
Nativity
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Spiral
Crafts

Why I Choose Self Sustenance Over Veganism

Clyde
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Why I Choose Self Sustenance Over Veganism

Over the years at Fractal Enlightenment we have been questioned and still find stray comments on posts about not promoting veganism and being vegan. But taking your truth and enforcing your diet onto another is what gets me a tad bit annoyed and after much delay here is my reasoning as to why I’m not vegan.

I do understand that vegans don’t want to harm and want to bring about real change, but true change is not easy and its not really coming to a store near you in the form of soy chicken. Let’s take a look at the drawbacks and the solutions to the problems.

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Social Phobia: How Your Fear Can Set You Free

Lauren
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Social Phobia: How Your Fear Can Set You Free

“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” ~ Joseph Campbell

As someone who suffers from a crippling social phobia I have insight into two things: One, that it is often misunderstood as shyness or introversion, and two, that it is karmic. As a complex phobia, social anxiety stems from critical or overbearing parents.

Parents who were overprotective, or emotionally absent, and also those who valued other’s opinions over their child’s emotional and mental well being (think enforcing good manners and etiquette to a destructive degree).

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This revelation can help us to uncover the root of the problem and how our thought processes have formed leading to us up to this point; excessively worrying about what others think. But how does social anxiety work on a karmic or spiritual level?

No-body likes me is a thought that has crossed most of our minds during this lifetime. We all seek to be accepted and our collective goal could be seen as lowering the barriers that separate in order to unite us.

We are one. A familiar concept, and experience for anyone who has tapped in to their spiritual path here on earth. As social creatures we naturally gravitate towards each other, attempting to figure ourselves out, often by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others. We are mirrors, and our family and wider circle can offer clues as to what our unique path (aside from compassion for the other and bringing down those barriers) really is.

So what if, like the Orphan archetype, the path of social anxiety is to realize that we are the only ones we can lean on? Is social anxiety simply an offshoot of the Orphan’s path? Is the thing we need to transcend and overcome the very thing that terrifies us more than anything?

Yes. This is our Minotaur in the labyrinth. It is the falsehood, and it provides the ego with strength but also fear. When facing a room full of people, we experience fight or flight, and if we let our fear and our belief in this false self get to us, then we will let panic get the better of us.

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“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”  ~ Joseph Campbell

So is knowing this enough? Not really. This is where we come to the more down to earth part of the article (!); how to overcome it.

Doing what scares you is also a familiar concept to those who are consciously walking a spiritual path. And it can be a daily practise. But timing is everything. If you don’t feel ready, don’t force yourself.

Solitude is a worthy spiritual teacher and being alone has its perks. Something we need to build momentum and re-group, especially if we have experienced trauma and are experiencing some sort of fragmentation of the soul. Meditation while you ‘wait’, or anytime for that matter will help you detach from the realness of what you’re going through. Not numb it, but allow you to see it as a movie flickering before your eyes. It’s just a game, and you don’t need to take it personally.

That’s probably why you’re in this position in the first place. You took your parents criticism personally, not knowing any better, not knowing they were suffering – probably from a critical parent of their own – and so it caught you attention, and you swallowed that poison.

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“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.” ~ Joseph Campbell

So, when you’re ready, do what scares you. If people scare you, then approach them. The quote above is really beautiful because it’s also often what scares us; taking in the unknown. But people with phobias are those blessed with a gift.

Start seeing yourself, not as having a burden, but as having a gift. Your phobia is a gift because it keeps you close to fear, and fear helps us stay awake. Not in an addictive, hedonistic way. Awake in a spiritual, true purpose sense. That’s how alchemy works. You can turn base metal into gold, but only if you see the potential within that suffering.

 

dropPracticing gratitude, like any victim-based problem is another way out. Or should I say in. In being grateful for your ‘problem’, you can see that in reality there is no problem there at all. It’s all an illusion.

Just like the initial trauma that caused you to jump into fight or flight. You weren’t really in danger, your parent was using the critical inner voice they use on themselves, on you, the person in their care. That’s what really happened. No-one hated you, or saw you were weak, or wanted to embarrass you. It was all about them.

That might cause you to feel angry at them, and this is where your compassion will eventually kick in. But give it time. Like solitude, it’s OK to be angry for a while. Just look it straight in the eye, let it wash over you and then when the time is right, say goodbye to it forever.

So practice gratitude and talk to people. If you see disgust in their eyes and they look like they want to be rid of you, or if you have the feeling you might do something embarrassing, let it come. Through meditation we can also notice that critical inner voice we now have, and observe it. You don’t need to engage with it at all, just watch it and eventually you’ll see it for what it is; petty. Get to the point where you can observe the voice as you speak to people.

Ground yourself in the moment; sounds, sensations, touch and root yourself there. You have a right to be here, just as much as anyone else. If you notice their disgust, stand there anyway. You’re not doing anything wrong. Maybe you’re complaining, it’s OK, you made a mistake this time. But that’s OK.

Everyone makes mistakes. Give yourself an inner cuddle, as you would a child (everyone who you perceive to be emotionally mature probably does this already). Promise yourself you’ll try not to do it next time. If you fall into the trap again, watch yourself, watch the inner critic (who is not YOU/your true self if you hadn’t realized already), and forgive yourself. Next time. I’ll try to remember not to complain next time.

Keep at it. Because when you have resolved that conflict and your mother and father are living within you, nurturing you from a place you control (because you are in control of how you react to everything), when you’ve built that home for yourself, no-one can take that away from you. That’ll be the day you step in to your awesomeness, and allow yourself to truly shine.

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Sexuality, Creativity, Women – Exploring the Art of Sexual Energy

Anna Surwillo
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Sexuality, Creativity, Women – Exploring the Art of Sexual Energy

What is creativity?

To create means to bring (something) into existence. All human beings have an innate desire, an urge if you will, to express creatively, in whatever form it may be. Its a deep-seated need to bring into life that which is uniquely ours, to make a contribution that has our own energetic signature and not a copycat version of someone else’s work. Simply, creativity is fundamental to being human.

Many of us, based on individual upbringing and education, equate ‘creativity’ with an artistic domain that belongs to either a poet, writer, sculptor or painter. Yet, it’s rather a limited description, isn’t it? Absolutely everything we see around us is a creation. We create all the time, be it consciously or unconsciously.

We thrive on creativity, it gives meaning to our lives, it makes us feel like we contribute to the world by leaving a mark on the physical world.

Where does creativity come from?

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To put simply: creative energy = sexual energy; they are one and the same. Sexual/creative energy holds immense power. Lovers, seekers of all things – esoteric and metaphysical – are all familiar with the sacral chakra, an area below the navel.

The sexual energy is housed within the second chakra and governs our reproductive organs, lower vertebrae, pelvis, large intestines, hip area, bladder and appendix (physical body).

Also this chakra’s energy is connected to the emotional/mental body. Sexual energy is a vital life force; it’s a base for creativity in all forms, literally and figuratively.

HeatherAsh Amara, author of Warrior Goddess Training, described sexual energy as “a potent force of nature that flows through the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, and through you. It is a pure-as-snow-, core energy that dances through all two-leggeds, four-leggeds, creepy crawlies, swimmers, and every plant from seed to blossom and to fruit. It’s not wrong, dirty, immoral, or amoral. It is the central driving force of creation on the planet.”

This fiery energy can be channeled into any desired project; when directed consciously throughout the energetic centers of the body, the most incredible expressions can be birthed into existence; (be it photography, cooking, designing clothing, knitting, painting, writing, etc.)

Sexual energy creates, transforms, heals – a wisdom well known in native traditions all over the world.

Shamanic practices

Shamans and healers utilize sexual energy differently than ordinary people; they need large dosage to perform energetic feats such as healing work, shamanic dreaming (there’s connection between dreaming and sexual energy), journeying into other dimensions, bilocation, shapeshifting etc.

Many shamanic methods teach the art of raising the sexual energy up the spine. However, this energy holds immense power, wisdom and is to be treated in a sacred way.

Unfortunately, for a long time majority of the western world lacked understanding of how to honor this sacred gift; sexual energy has been abused, misused, repressed and bastardized. We have associated it mainly with the sexual act but there is so much more to it.

As Chon Yakil, dreamer and healer, a practitioner of the Toltec-Mayan branch of Nagualism said, “we should be searching for expressions of sexuality that are evolved, long-lived and ecstatic, not harmful.”

Luckily, as we are awakening to our own truths, maturing spiritually, we can finally embrace this beautiful gift and learn to cultivate it properly. A great practice is to cleanse the sexual energy, disentangle from energetic attachments, which will, in turn, renew the energies.

From Procreation to Co-creation

The power of how we invest our creative energies is up to us, as individual and sovereign beings. Yet, frequently, when in disempowered state, we blindly followed the old templates imposed by patriarchal world; not too many choices were available, especially to women. Why?

Because for eons of time, the ancient feminine power was dethroned and subjugated. Many parts of the world still hold archaic mentality of women being ‘second-class citizens’.

For a long time, women’s role was relegated to birthing children and fulfilling their roles as sole nurturers in the household. The procreative energy of the second chakra can be approached literally (biological: the birth of the child and figuratively: giving physical form to our visions, dreams, ideas). There are countless ways through which creative genius can be birthed into form.

Barbara Hubbard- Marx eloquently described, as we collectively emerge into a new awareness of beingness, (particularly us women), “Wherever they have a choice, women are shifting from massive procreation to co-creation.“

“This bio-evolutionary fact is gradually freeing the feminine half of the species from the huge effort reproduce up to maximum. That creativity is available now for life purpose and expression into larger world. Out of these breakdowns, innovations, and new possibilities are arising to foreshadow not only a new human, but a new world and, indeed, many new worlds in the universe.“

“At some point in human history, female genitalia were considered potent enough to be used as the catalyst for bringing the earth and all life back from the brink of destruction”.
“At some point in human history, female genitalia were considered potent enough to be used as the catalyst for bringing the earth and all life back from the brink of destruction”.

For a long time, we lived in a male-dominated society, men were our roles models, God himself included. Yet on some level, we women all knew, even if buried deep down within our subconsciousness, there was more to life than blindly following a path of rigid patriarchal order.

A deep desire to reconnect with our feminine essence was bubbling up to the surface; it’s coming to its full force now. The time has come to reclaim the path and ways of ancient wisdom keepers, Goddesses who knowingly stand in their power. Women carry within them the womb of creation; primordial creative energy.

Reclaiming Sexuality

To all the Goddesses out there, reclaim, heal and own your sexual energy. Repression of sexual energy imposed by the old patriarchal order, particularly religious/governmental organizations, traumatized our bodies & minds. So much shame and pain carried around. Yet, it is the creative energy of the Goddess herself. Wipe those templates clean and create anew.

HeatherAsh Amara pointed out: “When you own your sexuality as your inner fire, you release it from being focused on your genitals and on the physical act of sex, and free it to bring passion into all areas of your life.”

Feeling the ecstasy of ‘inner fire’ flowing inside of you is mind-bending, humbling and immensely empowering. The way all cells get charged up with a fiery and warm honey-like energy flowing through you leaves you speechless; it soothes, nourishes and liberates the body, mind, and Soul, while reminding you of eternal nature – a creative spark of Source of All That Is.

The time is upon us to create consciously and in alignment with our soul and divine will. Unleash your creative genius and birth a new way of existence upon this breathtaking planet.

Tap into your life force and channel it into the most magnificent creations this world has ever seen. Claim your birthright. But as always, the choice is yours.

Image source

Amanda Sage
Mark Henson art

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