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Offensive Art and the Power of Non-attachment

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“You are afraid to open the door? I too was afraid, since we had forgotten that God is terrible. Christ taught: God is love. But you should know that love is also terrible.” ~ Carl Jung, The Red Book

The human condition is a fickle beast. So sensitive. So insecure. So prone to delicate sensibilities. We’re so easily offended by others, while hypocritically inclined to assuage ourselves of any offense that we may give. All the while predisposed to clinging to a certain disposition or culturally conditioned worldview.

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Within such predispositions our feelings are more likely to get “hurt,” our certainties “crushed,” and our hearts “broken” when faced with anything “offensive.” We’re more inclined to lower ourselves to a whiny, woe-is-me, pitiful state of yearned-for placation and ego-soothing, so as to keep our delicate sensibilities intact and our too-soft insecurities secured.

In short: we play the victim (where the fickle beast remains fickle). In such a state we tend to be unaware that it is usually the opposite of this tactic where true growth lies –playing the hero (where the fickle beast transcends its fickleness). Either way, it seems “play” is involved, but one is arguably healthier than the other.

Now enter creative and comedic license. Between “offense given” and “offense taken” lies the audacious artist. From comics to painters, poets to song writers, cartoonists to satirists, artists from shamans to Shakespeare and beyond, have challenged the delicate sensibilities and prudish conservativism of others.

They stand tall over the insecure human morass and dare to mix it up with audacious art that stings the heart, splits the soul, widens the eyes, and twists the mind. “Delicate sensibilities be damned!” They say, just before diving head-first into the masterpiece.

As Pablo Picasso said, “Art is offensive. At least art should be allowed to be offensive. It ought to be forbidden to ignorant innocence, never allowed into contact with those not sufficiently prepared. Yes, art is dangerous.”

800 pound gorillaAttachment

“Drop the idea that attachment and love is one thing. They are enemies. It is attachment that destroys all love. If you feed, if you nourish attachment, love will be destroyed; if you feed and nourish love, attachment will fall away by itself. They are not one; they are two separate entities, and antagonistic to each other.” ~ Osho

Our state of offense is almost always derived from an attachment to a particular belief. Whether we’re offended by our religious figures being satirized, or our flags being “disrespected,” or maybe it’s our prudishness regarding nudity, the offense taken is usually wrapped up in the defensive walls we’ve put up to “protect” our delicate and insecure nature.

Art has a way of getting us off the hook of taking ourselves and our beliefs too seriously. But only if we have the courage to allow for comedic and creative license. This is because comedy and art have a tendency to shatter preconceived paradigms.

They detach us from our attachments, at least for a time. They move the arena of “play” into a sacred gray area, where the Middle Way of audacious imagination and the power of a good sense of humor holds sway.

Detachment

“I believe in absolute freedom of expression. Everyone has a right to offend and be offended.” ~ Taslima Nasrin

meditating head on fireHere’s the thing: You have the right to be offended. Anything you see, hear, smell, taste, or touch can be held against you in a state of offense. You have the right to whine to an authority.

If an authority cannot be found, either the Great Mystery, Yahweh, Allah, Buddha, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Blooming Haha (Rob Brezsny), or the Dancing Nothing will be provided to placate you.

Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you? If so, good news: You’re ready to surpass such victim-playing nonsense and attempt a mastery of the art of non-attachment. If not, keep practicing mindfulness meditation and try not to whine too much.

There’s a reason why Buddhist detachment is understood by masters the world over as a vital aspect of healthy living –It works! It teaches us that there is no permanence. Everything changes. Nothing remains the same, especially not the Self, though we vainly cling to it. Vicissitude is the ultimate juggernaut oracle.

Buddhist detachment helps us gain the “over eyes” of the oracle. It knocks us off both the high horse of the past and the pedestal of the future, while slamming us into the muck and mire of the present moment, the infinite now that subsumes all things, to include the seemingly fixed past and the fuzzy future.

With the Over Eyes of non-attachment attached like a pair of third-eye sunglasses, we gain the ability to be astonished.

Enchantment

“We are all unique medicine.” ~ Angeles Arrien

a cardinalsin BanksyWithin our culturally conditioned boxes we’re almost certain to be inundated by the mundane. Our ordinary lives have a tendency to remain all-too-ordinary, though we claim to long for the extraordinary. We become inert, complacent, and accustomed. And then we wonder how we lost the spark.

If we’re lucky, we’ll wonder just a little bit further and ask ourselves: how do we get that spark back. The easy answer to that question is through typical art that merely keeps us entertained. The difficult answer is through audacious art that jolts us awake through the use of shock humor.

If, as Joshua Foer said in Moonwalking with Einstein, “Monotony collapses time; novelty unfolds it,” then practicing Buddhist detachment is a way to allow Time to unfold into enchantment. But we must be vulnerable in order to be open to novelty.

Our defenses must come down so that offensiveness doesn’t shut us down. This unfolding into astonishment provides us a sacred space to enjoy the kind of imagination that shatters mental paradigms, stretches comfort zones, and stirs up pots where a thick indifference has risen to the top. In short: it allows us to embrace being offended in order that we may become enchanted.

When we’re enchanted, especially through art, we’re too busy being astonished to worry about rules, or laws, or petty beliefs. We’re free to not take ourselves too seriously. We free to not be so extreme with our beliefs or worldviews. In short: We’re free to be in a state of imaginative ecstasy.

As Carlos Castaneda intuited, “Feeling important makes one heavy, clumsy and vain. To be a warrior one needs to be light and fluid. Self-importance is man’s greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one’s life offended by something or someone.”

Practicing non-attachment dissolves self-importance. The dissolution of self-importance gives way to self-astonishment, and suddenly our delicate sensibilities aren’t so delicate anymore. Our state of offense is actualized as merely a petty defense.

A flexible robustness along with a healthy sense of humor rises to the top and overwhelms us, and we discover the ability to self-overcome through the transcendence of our own creative projects that may or may not shock others into being astonished as well.

As Frank Herbert wrote in Dune, “Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.”

And so it goes with audacious art as well. It’s always one step beyond reason.

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Cardinal Sin by Banksy
Offensive Art

7 Bedtime Meditations and Ritual Ideas for Children (and Adults!)

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.” – Dr Seuss

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The prayer of the evening is quite unlike the morning. The morning is stark, simplistic… and serious. Often like pulling teeth. The prayers and meditations of the evening, however, are usually ones of celebration. And what better way to celebrate and give gratitude for life, than to do it as well as a child?

Here are some bedtime meditations and ritual ideas for children that, whether you have children or not, you might like to try:

1) Set Up The Right Environment

Bedtime Meditations and Ritual Ideas for Children

Lighting an oil burner with a few drops of lavender oil about an hour before bed will have you relaxing into the bedtime mood and sets a spiritual tone for the wind-down. Another idea is to burn a candle. Better yet, to set it on a ‘nature table’ or altar that you or your children add to daily.

Think of all those walks you go on and try to remember to bring something back each time. It’s an automatic celebration of the day. Look! We found a feather and we’re going to place it on the nature table. What do feathers mean? Oo, we’re going to receive a message from our angels. Very magical and a perfectly enchanting way to enter to bedroom and help with the transition into sleep.

When you light your candle, dedicate it to someone. It can be a worldly prayer for peace or a simple nod of thought to your neighbor who seems a bit distracted lately. It doesn’t matter how accurately worded it is, but this dedication helps your child to become a thoughtful, compassionate person without lecturing them, or simply help you attract good vibes and loving kindness-type karma worthy of a dedicated monk.

2) Use Song For Transitions

This is especially effective for children as they quickly pick up the cues and it’s better than breaking the atmosphere to nag them – will you stop bouncing on the bed and lie down! ‘Quiet voices, calm bodies’ in a simple tune will work. As does ‘Starlight, star-bright, who shall we light this candle for tonight?’

3) Use Angel Cards or Color In

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Oracle cards, most famously published by Doreen Virtue or meditation or tarot cards can also be a nice ‘thought for the day’ and the more provoking and imaginative the images, the better. Children will love this ritual of picking their card and placing it on the altar/nature table, but this can also be a nice way to start the day.

If you have a child who is particularly energetic, this time can also be used to encourage them to draw with crayons simply for the act of doing it. Drawing calms them, and you can do it with them to also calm yourself (note the recent trend of adult coloring books) Doing a ‘right we’re going to chose two colors then completely cover our paper with them’ or coloring in a shape will be more calming than drawing an epic picture of mummy, daddy and the goldfish, which might spark conversation and excitement.

Use fun but firm rules than forbid talking whilst drawing and try not to react when the picture is complete, instead adding it to a communal pile of ‘dream pictures’ or something similar. These can be used in the day or given as gifts. Or, if your child is feeling a bit off, used as an ‘feeling drawing’ where it helps them to externalize their emotions. Again, this works as a good transition into bedtime if there’s been a tantrum or lots of battles over getting to sleep.

4) Yoga
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You can often find cheap second-hand books or cards on children’s yoga with five or six poses that reference animals or magical creatures. Mermaid pose, tree, mountain, cobra, butterfly, camel, bear… sounds exciting already, doesn’t it?!

Yoga is great for physically active children and those that need to work off their extra energy before bedtime. Don’t force them to join in, but simply go through the poses like you’re telling a story and they will imitate you eventually. If you don’t have cards or a book then stick to three or four at first and encourage them to breathe during the poses or gently rock. They can also do them in bed when they can’t sleep.

My kids resisted for a while, then were letting out little whoops of joy when it came to ‘yoga baby time’.

5) Meditate

This one’s my favorite. Try not to stick to a script but rely on your own imagination and presence. With breath it can be incredibly difficult for children to grasp – perhaps because their breathing is more natural and their bodies less tense anyway – but it is possible to teach them pranayama; breath control.

You could start by saying something like:

Now close your eyes and lay back, because Grandmother moon is rising in the sky and Mother night is laying her cloak over the world. The rabbits in their burrows are curling up, whiskers becoming one with their mother’s fur, and the world is at peace.

Encourage them to listen to the sounds around them, including ‘listening’ to silence.

Hear the gap between my words growing longer, and notice your belly rising and falling. All of the day is melting away as you sink deeper into the bed beneath you.

Some ideas for explaining how to breathe:

Breathe in through your nose to smell the flowers, and out to blow it a kiss of thanks.

Breathe in sucking the ocean tide towards you, and out to push it away from the shore.

Breathe in to make the candle flame brighter, then out to make it flicker.

A focus on the breath can be used as many times as your child responds, but a mention about noting how they feel in their bodies as an introduction to meditation can also prepare them for a more in-depth meditation when they’re eight years and older.

6) Read a Story

Imagination stories work wonderfully with a child’s imagination and will encourage them to create their own. Try asking them to give you the characters so they’re participating. For example: one plant or tree, one animal and one form of weather or natural element; fog, snow, rainbow etc.

But once the beginning ‘creation’ is decided on let them lie back and just listen so they don’t use the opportunity to lengthen bedtime hour unnecessarily! Alternatively you could read them a chapter from a longer book, the sort they will be reading in a few years time to exercise and open up that love of reading and further calm them by encouraging them to use their listening ears.

7) Sing

Brahms ‘Lullaby’ is a classic and can also be used as a transition between bedtime activities. You might find cuddling and singing together nice, helping you to bond with your kids, or you might prefer them to simply listen to the songs or to put on a CD, but try to avoid technologies if you can.

Chants that aren’t too dark or intense are good such as Om mani padme hum or Govinda jaya jaya (I guess it depends on the melody), as well as uplifting gospel songs such as Gonna build a mountain or Oh happy day. Swing low sweet chariot and Amazing grace also help to encourage a connection and dialogue with the divine, even if you’re not Christian. And finally, folk songs from all over the world will open them up to different cultures. Pacha Mama I’m coming home from Peru, My Lagan Love from Ireland and Dandini Dandini Dastana from Turkey are just a few.

So if your intention is teaching your children to become more in touch with their emotional states and bodies, get creative with that final hour before you get some precious time to yourself. Or simply find a way that is not as drastic as drugging them to get them to calm down and begin to practice a spiritual connection with the night. These ideas are just the beginning of the many things you can do to bond and create magical memories with your child, children… or just yourself.

1 Saat Ninni - Dandini Dandini Dastana ve Fış Fış Kayıkçı (Tekrarlı Bebek Uyutan Müzikler)

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The Universal Baby Language Hints that We Come from the Same Source

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“I was barked at by numerous dogs who are earning their food guarding ignorance and superstition for the benefit of those who profit from it. Then there are the fanatical atheists whose intolerance is of the same kind as the intolerance of the religious fanatics and comes from the same source. They are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who—in their grudge against the traditional ‘opium for the people’—cannot bear the music of the spheres. The Wonder of nature does not become smaller because one cannot measure it by the standards of human moral and human aims.” ~ Albert Einstein

“We are all one” has been Fractal Enlightenment’s tag line for years now, its something that one experiences through altered stated of consciousness. The division is created by rulers, politicians and people who need to manipulate to rule us.

But is there real proof that we actually come from the same source? A recent conversation on the facebook page went through topics of how babies can be born evil. The only evidence provided was a ten year old committing murder.

Thankfully a ten year old is way past the baby stage, sadly a child was turned into this monster. No soul is born evil, if a child is born evil it would only mean that all of us are born evil.

As you may know the first seven years of childhood or the golden age is where all children develop their basics, in computer terms the BIOS has been programmed. In these first seven years a child can either be taught to love or to hate, to be kind or mean, to forgive or take revenge, and the truth is most of these settings are fed in from the parents, then teachers and the environment the child is brought up in.

But when a baby is born into the world, they come in with some basic knowledge that has been put in by the source. For example how to suckle, you don’t need to teach a baby to do that it just knows. The even better part that most parents discover on their parenting journey is their baby also knows how to communicate. Yes, in between the wailing, there are words or sounds the baby makes that actually tells you what he or she wants.

Although it isn’t easy to figure out, most of the hard-work was done by Priscilla Dunstan who realized that babies actually talk. They say ‘Neh’ when their hungry, ‘Owh’ to let us know they are sleepy, ‘Heh’ means they are in discomfort, ‘Eairh’ that their uncomfortable because of lower gas and ‘Eh’ means they need to be burped.

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In Line with the Source

Does this really work? Do babies make these sounds? If you aren’t aware of it then it just sounds like the baby is crying. But if you know about it, wow its a life saver cause you know exactly what your baby is trying to communicate with you. We are currently successfully using it on our second child, we used it on our first child as well. Gary used it on his and my sister used it on hers, so yes.

Now comes the interesting part, this language isn’t limited to only English speaking children, it transcends the man made boundaries of nationalism, religion, caste, creed, race or language. This is the language that all babies speak across the world.

There you have it, apart from the ability to suckle the source puts in a communication system in all the babies that is the same. It din’t give the American babies a special accent, or the Indian ones more words to learn, or the Israeli and the Palestinian ones have the same birth language.

And then we grow up and boom. Welcome to the age of separation where we are so disconnected from the source that we don’t even have the thought or power to ask the real questions because we’re comfortable in our cocoons that has been created from the time of our birth.

We’re so happy to believe the lies and illusions that we are better than them because we have white skin, or we’re the chosen race or we come from a better god. Well its time to put that aside, you said Neh when you were hungry like me and you said Eairh when you wanted to fart just like me. It’s just that you have forgotten that you are my sister and you my friend who doesn’t agree with me because of your societal conditioning, are my brother.

No matter what you choose peace or war, no matter the path you walk, you and I come from the same source and you and I will go back to the same one, source, god, teacher, alien incubator whatever it is. You have only forgotten who you really are, connect back to the source it beats for you as we beat for you too.

One Woman Unlocks the Secret Language of Babies | The Oprah Winfrey Show | Oprah Winfrey Network

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Transform Your Journey as an Empath from Suffering to Elevation!

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“In one and the same fire, clay grows hard and wax melts.” ~ Francis Bacon

So, you’re an empath. You’ve figured that out. But now that you know who you are, how do you transform your journey as an empath from one of hell to one of ascension?

As mentioned in Part One, in order to avoid the worst case scenario of becoming a hermit wholly hateful of society, we must first study our childhood and locate the traumatic event(s) that happened to us.

Here are some ways to transform your journey as an empath from suffering to elevation?

Childhood Trauma

By retracing our steps not only to that event but also to the ‘stage’ it occurred in, we might then hope to dig up those raw emotions ‘lodged’ in our bodies and begin to release and heal.

Using triggers from everyday life that we associate with that event and embracing the emotions it digs up rather than running away from them may take a while to get going, but like any habit once it’s ingrained it’ll become second nature.

It can actually become quite enjoyable. Like pulling off a plaster; the anticipation we lend the act turns out to be so much more painful than the actual happening.

Locating the stage our trauma occurred can feed our recovery. If during the age of 0-7, (see Part One for an explanation of the 3 Waldorf stages of development) we can embrace the physical to heal that glitch in our development.

When feeling panicked or overthinking, quickly locate and name five physical things around you: table, carpet, etc. Exercise and stay grounded, being very careful that you eat well. Close your eyes and listen to the sounds around you to bring you back to reality.

If your trauma happened in the stage 7-14 where your feelings were developing, then focus on how the patterns in your relationships are, voice your feelings as they occur, etc.

Identify Your Triggers

There is a lot of information out there on creative ways to heal, but still, it pays to first identify your triggers associated with that event so they don’t creep up on you at a later date. Of course, life is an on-going healing and realigning shifting of energies, but it makes sense that the deeper you dive now, the less darkness you’ll encounter on your way to the surface.

Triggers can include anything from keeping eye contact, sharing personal information, the ability to say no, shutting out anyone who is even remotely abusive (to know just check whether you feel comfortable in their presence. If you don’t, then you don’t need to know why, just distance yourself from them), certain situations and events.

In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy identifying and relaxing your triggers is called changing your avoidance behaviours, but this process can extend to mindfulness, especially where you are leaking energy or letting others feel superior to you by putting yourself down by either actions or words.

This dual status seems to occur in every human interaction, especially when you meet someone for the first time and is unfortunately an innate part of human nature. Sometimes just being unafraid of not being liked or accepted can be the first step in the direction of being liked and accepted.

If you think this is you, try a ‘person detox’ for a day; go about your usual everyday tasks (this is very important – as mentioned already, you don’t want to isolate yourself), but try an experiment. Imagine ‘sitting back’ in your energy field (this can mean putting your focus ‘behind’ your heart closer to your spine, or calming your energy by letting it pool at the base of your spine.)

At times of anxiety when you’re trying to save everyone, your energy is actually located outside your body, about two feet in front of you, which is what creates the nervous, flitting feeling.

And it’s no surprise; you’re not even in your own body!! Now, each time you encounter someone, don’t even let yourself ‘get up to greet them’ energetically speaking until you’re sure you want to share your energy with them. This way, instead of creating an unconscious and hostile barrier around yourself – you are consciously taking responsibility for your own energy.

In this modern world it is expected that we bounce up to each other and exuberantly bowl each other over with how bubbly we are. For an empath, this is one sure way to lose all your energy and give your power away to others.

When it comes from an unstable core, you’ll be using up all your reservoirs in one go, and chances are, that person won’t respect you for it or even give you anything back. For a while you might seem aloof, even snooty and stuck up.

But as you practise you should find that you have an increase of energy, and also that you are able to become more aware of how others try to bait you to give your power away. When we ‘sit back’ we take the position energetically that we do when meditating as ‘the watcher.’

Observing yourself have these interactions will better help you see them, first, as a game. And secondly, as a choice. Once you see yourself rising up to take the habitual bait, you will gradually be able to find alternative reactions (or the wonderful reaction of not reacting at all.)

You’ll be able to see yourself trying to learn this lesson, and as time goes on even resuming a better connection with your higher self, observing this embodiment of your soul tackling what you came here to do.

Transform your Journey as an Empath

The first step is often what stops an empath from healing and beginning the journey to ascension. Much like the law of attraction, we must first embrace reality as it is now and adopt an honest dialogue with ourselves rather than forcing a sugary dose of positivity down our throats.

Often those who have not had the difficult experiences that we have will take the stance of labeling you as a victim who chooses difficulty over ease, and this can often be the hardest hurdle to clear when you’re empathic.

You just can’t believe that the people who should love and cherish you so shamelessly take advantage of you! And, when you try to better yourself and stop giving away your power, they fight you for it! So why do they do this?

Because they’re scared. It’s a lower vibration to use other’s weaknesses against them, and for all those people who take advantage of you, they’re operating on a fear-based way of looking at the world. They see your vulnerability because you’re sensitive, and, like a mob hungry for judgement day, they hone in and strip you bare.

transform your journey as an empath

Don’t let them! Face your shadow. Make a decision to cut yourself off from them (remember don’t ignore or avoid). You don’t need to feel guilty for cutting yourself off emotionally and energetically from everyone (and I mean EVERYONE!) who makes you feel this way.

The moment you detox from those people, is the moment you make room for new, higher vibrational people to come in to your life. Sounds elitist I know, but the irony is that the only way of helping those who are taking advantage is exactly that – to cut them out.

Being a leaking empath can be the perfect excuse to not expand. Imagine yourself as able to observe others playing the game; squabbling over status and power (another reason many of us opt to be walked over, often it’s better than accepting the darkest reaches of human nature) and stand back from it, even have compassion for them being so caught up in it. Let’s face it, every spiritual leader has had to face this painful test.

An integral part of being an empath – a noble part of it – is being alone in your experience and owning that. Because from healing comes leadership and spiritual radiance, and that’s exactly what, as an empath, you are destined to become.

Joyous Release

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How to Solve the Problem of Empathy: Part One

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“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled.” ~ Anthon St Maarten

To qualify as an empath, you need to be someone incredibly sensitive who actually absorbs other people’s energy rather than just witness it. We can all be sensitive to energy, but to actually (and involuntarily) absorb it…

Wow, that’s tough. Often linked to those who have, in childhood, had to parent their own parents from a young age and therefore have been unable to create healthy boundaries with those around them, an empath’s core will be fragmented and the lines easily blurred with whomever they encounter.

This predicament, on the surface anyway, makes them seem innocent, even naive, and ultimately ripe for abuse. Empaths can often feel completely sapped of energy, angry for no apparent reason and frustrated that others are dictating their identity.

It is a purpose that can have you admiring everyone else’s grass and pondering over why exactly it is that you can’t sunbathe on it. I mean, we all want to have an easy life, right?

You’ll be told you’re not normal. You’ll become so fragmented and influenced by energy from all over the place that you won’t even know who you are anymore. You’ll become cursed.

So what – if any – is the benefit of being an empath? Is there any point, I hear you cry? Why did I choose this? I must have been crazy! To understand the predicament of the empath, let’s take a closer look at childhood and where the patterns (particularly the negative patterns) of this type come from.

solve the problem of empathy

Solve the problem of empathy

Rudolph Steiner, founder of Waldorf education and the anthroposophy movement, at the turn of the twentieth century theorized that children, still existing partly in their ethereal bodies (a state that decreases with age), are more able to absorb other’s feelings and sense the emotional states and occurrences’ around them.

This is why childhood experiences are so intense, and why it doesn’t matter what the adults around them say or do, it’s impossible to lie to a child because they can sense your energy and intention.

When a child is abused, it is invariably the objects and actions that they associate with their abuser’s emotional state that stick with them. A childhood experience that becomes all too crystal clear, and ultimately corrupts their development.

Accessing those raw, unjudged feelings and reactions to the events that happen in childhood are part of the healing process for anyone, but can be particularly essential for the healing and ascending empath who has gone against their nature in a way by blocking that expression.

Sometimes a few years of ‘feeling’; going over those blocked emotions and releasing them can be the difficult beginning to a beautiful healing process… but I digress, before we can even hope to access those raw emotions, sometimes we need to do a bit more analysis and study our childhood a little further…

To better understand that childhood development, we can continue to study the model set out by Waldorf education in order to examine what exactly went wrong, and perhaps most importantly, when.

According to Steiner, the ages from birth to 7 involve the developmental mode of willing and the experience of the physical; a time when we are purely experiencing and testing the boundaries of the physical world around us.

The ages 7-14 then process and explore the developmental mode of feeling (7 being the milestone age where the child loses the milk teeth and develops an ability to conceptually understand impermanence and death), where a child can further develop their emotional intelligence and expression of feeling through art and their relationships with their peers.

The final stage continues until that individual is 25 years of age. They culminate their childhood development in the stage of thinking; becoming a complete ‘self’ through the intellect and a quest for truth. They are now ready to continue on to adulthood! Except when they need to retrace their steps…

I like to think that these three stages can be likened to the journey of ascension up through the chakras; an individual begins at the root with the maternal aspects of being; routine, the physical exploration of their environment, and as Steiner penned, the imitation of their mother and the community around them.

So, if a traumatic event or series of events occurs within this stage, you could say that the individual learns to imitate the violation of boundaries and the inappropriate sharing of energy.

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The victims of abuse – and remember abuse can be as seemingly commonplace as an emotionally abusive family member – in particular domestic abuse, often report symptoms similar to PTSD; irritability and flashbacks or nightmares, but also emotional numbness and zero energy.

PTSD can express itself as M.E, emotional numbing and isolation, or social anxiety. This isolation in particular is completely detrimental to the empath.

The more they avoid others, the more they notice the shock of other’s energy when they do interact, the more their barriers become so much higher and more defensive.

The beautiful design of interdependence becomes sordid, and the individual becomes increasingly withdrawn from society. This is often the backstory of the hermit, the snow queen and the rebel; an inverted empath embroiled in their own suffering.

 Am I saying that the ‘abilities’ of an empathy are a result of dysfunction and are entirely unhealthy? In a way, yes.  If we are to accept the negative aspect of empathy; in order to transform it into a blessing, the individual must first identify that trauma within them and dislodge and release it from their bodies.

Before the empath can celebrate their understanding of another’s energy, they must block it to replenish their own supplies and live a peaceful life. Our journey as the empath must primarily include forming healthy boundaries before we can use our gift (that has been disguised in the form of suffering) allowing us to translate it into the purpose it was intended for – to help others.

For further advice on how to overcome the negative aspects of being an empath, please read Part Two.

Personal Boundaries vs. Oneness (How to Develop Healthy Boundaries) - Teal Swan

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