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Embracing Vulnerability to Evolve

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Human beings are inherently vulnerable. However, in changing times being vulnerable is often seen as a sign of weakness. You choose to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself because above everything else, you don’t want to come across as a weak individual.

being-vulnerablePutting yourself out there involves a risk of getting criticized, misunderstood, labeled or fear of rejection and failing. But if you step back and observe your own life, you will realise that nothing is more disheartening than not having the courage to show up and let your authentic self be seen.

It’s about being honest with how you feel, about your fears, your strengths and weaknesses. But most of us are not comfortable with that kind of vulnerability. The moment you feel disappointment, sadness, fear or powerlessness, you instantly try to change the situation by distracting yourself and avoid facing the situation. Little do you know that deep down in those unpleasant feelings is where true happiness lies.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” ~ Brene Brown

 

b6718cd927b7946a1d7a2e5dcd4a96feIf you look around in nature, you see life in its purest form – sunrise, sunset, flowing streams, trees, birds, clouds, mountains, sea, etc. Does that make any of it less beautiful or weak?

It appears even more serene and tranquil because its existence is pure and simple. You were born simple but the never-ending conditioning puts a massive roadblock and you drift away from being simple and beautiful.

Each time you escape from being vulnerable, you let go of an opportunity to learn more about yourself and others at the same time. If you cultivate fear of feeling pain and suffering, you also lose our ability to feel joy and happiness.

Allow yourself to feel vulnerable

1) It will help you in expanding your mind and heart

It is true that embracing this feeling of vulnerability can cause pain, anxiety, fear, anger, and all sorts of confusing emotions but in the end it will help in expanding your mind and stretching your comfort zones.

Once you know how to deal with your own complex painful emotions, you become more aware of your true self and emerge more happier and calmer. Like when you first drive through a new road, everything feels different and strange. But regular drives through that same road, teaches you everything about it from the rough potholes to the smooth parts.

“What happens when people open their hearts?”…
“They get better.” ~ Murakami

2) It will teach you compassion

Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.” ~ Henri J.M Nouwen

Whenever you feel vulnerable, you seek support of fellow beings around you. You understand the worth of connectedness, open-heartedness and compassion. Compassion is the universal language of every living being. The depth of our compassion is directly proportional to our ability to feel hurt and rejection. So you can’t practice compassion with other people if you can’t treat yourself kindly.

3) Being yourself

A lot goes in hiding your true self and feeling. You are constantly judging your emotions, words and actions. At times, you even find yourself stuck in a loop with no direction. Instead of hiding behind a mask, you say whatever you want to say and do whatever you want to do, you will be more in sync with your life and your authentic self. Life won’t feel like a daily monotonous task but a gift of transparent happiness.

4) You will learn and grow

Our vulnerable self teaches us the most. Without vulnerability, there is no scope of art and creativity. All the painters, writers, poets and people on their creative journey, allow themselves to feel vulnerable and are open to life from all directions. So, allow yourself to undergo vulnerability to emerge like a shining sun through the clouds.

5) A deeper sense of purpose

vulnerability-is-our-most-accurate-measurement-of-courageWhen you express your true self, you experience true connection and you begin to attract people who are inspired by your openness. When you choose to ignore or conceal your true self, you start looking for happiness in material things and illusions when the most infinite source of joy lies within you. Feel vulnerable to find a deeper sense of purpose in life.

The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TED

I have met people who tell me that they hide their true nature and are forced to be pretentious because others take advantage of their vulnerable self. They will try to make you feel as if you are unusual or mentally/emotionally unstable. But that is their perception.

Artificial flowers look pretty but they don’t feel or smell as beautiful as the real ones. Embrace vulnerability, it is the birthplace of joy, creativity, and love.

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. The new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable, that is open.” ~ Stephen Russell

References and Image Source

Vulnerability Talk
Truth about Vulnerable
Vulnerable

5 Signs You are Complicating Your Life

 “There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity, that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.” ~ Dallin H. Oaks

Life is complicated. Relationships are complicated. Friendships are complicated. Life choices are complicated. Or are they? Is it possible that our excessive need to complicate life is just merely giving us something to do?

In our utter and complete fear of being bored are we perhaps overcomplicating every single thing in our life for the mere fact that it just gives us something to think about incessantly, or to complain about to our friends, or to distract ourselves from ourselves?

Could it be that our fragile little ego’s claim they want happiness, and inner peace, and simplicity from life situations but deep down are deathly afraid of this because in order to have true happiness and simple joy and uncomplicated relationships with others would mean the death of a majority of the jibber-jabber mind chatter that our ego spews out all day long?

Without over-thinking, worrying, complaining, and complicating everything to the point that we overanalyze every single situation the ego would lose 90% of its hold on us.

signs you are complicating your life

Our true self thrives in simplicity, in fact it is simplicity. It knows that anything outside of simplicity is merely our ego or false self begging for our attention.

As long as it has our attention we won’t pay attention to what is real and true… which is that we don’t need to spend so much time thinking about how we can go about achieving happiness. We already are happiness. We don’t need to spend all our time trying to get love from another person, we already are love.

As long as the ego can overcomplicate every situation to the point that we don’t see that all is well and perfect, it has already won. But the reality of the situation is, it doesn’t have to be this way.

As Confucius said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Here are five signs you are complicating your life:

1) You live in your head too much

Our minds are constantly trying to make sense of everything. They are going over every single “what if?”, “why did they do that?”, “what does this all mean?” so much so that they forget that all of life is happening in the present moment.

Literally only this present moment exists. So mulling over past conversations, or stressing about future events literally just drives us mad. We spend hours playing out scenarios in our head that have never happened and may or may not ever happen. We overthink everything that we are completely disconnected from what is real and the beauty of experiencing the present moment when it actually happens… in the present moment.

2) You want to make everyone happy all the time

Trying to please everyone might work every once in a while, but most of the time it will be an impossible feat. In order to please one person, it is inevitable that you will upset another person to some extent.

There will be times when everyone in your life is going to have their own opinion on how you should live yours, so trying to satisfy them all would be undoable. How about you just do what makes you happy?

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Yes some people will have something to say, or may be disappointed, but this is your life right? Once people in your life catch on that you have made yourself your first priority, they will be less inclined to ask you to go out of your way just to please them.

Also, they won’t be so shocked when you tell them “no” instead of desperately trying to prevent them from being upset by just doing exactly what they tell you to.

3) You believe your perception of life is the absolute truth

Here’s a secret: Your perception does not equal truth, it only means just that… YOUR perception. So the cashier at the store isn’t necessarily a rude witch, just because you perceived her that way. Did it occur to you that maybe she is dealing with a problem in her personal life? And the girl/guy you went on a date with isn’t necessarily an insensitive jerk.

Maybe they’ve had a really difficult childhood and they don’t know how to open up to people very easily. Regardless of the situation, we must realize that there are always two sides to every coin.

When we stop convincing ourselves and others that we know exactly what is going on in other people’s heads and why they act the way they do, we stop wasting so much time judging, complaining and criticizing others.

We simply see things and people as they are, without imposing our own little story on them which may or may not be anywhere near the actual truth.

4) You don’t trust that there is a higher intelligence at work

lao-tzu-simplicity

Whether you call it the universe, or God, or Source, or the all that is, there is a force that is working behind the scenes in every single aspect of our lives. There is never a moment that we are separate from its presence because in all actuality we come from it, meaning we ARE it, just a tiny little slice of it.

Our feeble little minds can’t comprehend this, so because of that we try to make our own plans and agendas on how things in our life will go. News flash: things rarely go the way we thought they would, right?

This is because the higher intelligence knows what’s best for us, even though we are convinced we know. The higher intelligence sees a bigger picture, it knows the reason your car wouldn’t start today was because there was going to be huge collision on the highway right when you would have been driving on it.

Accept and surrender to whatever it brings to you or brings you to. It is always giving you exactly what you need in any given moment, your only assignment is to: TRUST

5) You’re not honest with yourself

admire the simple beauty in life

This is a big one and actually a lot harder than it seems mainly because so many of us hide ourselves from ourselves so much that we don’t even know what the truth is anymore. Believe it or not a lot of people are comfortable in their misery. They have become so accustomed to it that the mere thought of not having something to be miserable about sounds like the scariest thing ever. So they fool themselves.

They rationalize, justify, and make excuses of why they still need to work at the job that they feel sucks the soul out of them, or they need to continue to cling on to an addiction of whatever the object of their desire is.

As long as they can evade actually being honest with themselves, which 9 times out of 10 is that they are afraid, they can stay comfortably unhappy. This for some reason sounds better than simply admitting that whoever or whatever or wherever is never going to bring them any closer to the happiness they claim they want.

Life really doesn’t need to be hard. In fact, when we start to simplify it we realize that the simple life is where true joy and happiness actually lives. We take things and people at face value. We trust the process of life and don’t overanalyze everyone and everything. So, if you do anything, do this… keep it simple.

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Featured image – Bostan Korkulugu

Pranayama: Learning the Art of Balanced Breathing

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“Life is a balance between holding on and letting go” ~ Keith Urban

Balance is the naked truth of nature and this quote holds true especially in case of breath. As the great yogis say, we are the breath we inhale & exhale, the fine line between how much to hold in and how much to let go, creates the necessary ‘equilibrium’.

This equilibrium, which exists at the time of birth, is not only difficult to achieve in daily life but also unsustainable. The gifted technique of controlled breathing, pranayama, can enable one to achieve this balance.

As the name suggests, ‘Prana’, the vital force and ‘Yama’, control of that energy, when the two are clubbed they have far-reaching benefits.

Kundalini-Yoga-Third-Eye-Yoga

Though the world is now accepting & appreciating the benefits of pranayama, everybody is not aware of the real art of balancing the breath. This art of breathing can be mastered with ease on understanding the twin systems in the body, popularly known as Yin & Yang, masculine & feminine, Shiva and Parvati or Solar or Lunar.

For everyday functioning & basic understanding, I would be taking up solar & lunar systems in the body, where the right side is solar and the left is lunar. Working in cross coordination, the left side of the body is connected to the right hemisphere of the brain and vice-a-versa.

By practicing pranayama one can attain the balance in these two systems. The flow of the breath in & out simultaneously occurs from both the nostrils under balanced breathing. This type of breathing is experienced and practiced by the great seers, yogis & attuned souls.

A balanced breath stimulates all the chakras, works on the hidden aspects of human aura, boosts the immune system, and slows down the aging process. Additionally, it opens up the third eye chakra, the keeper of immeasurable potential unexplored by the human mind in a waking state.

Here are certain breathing exercises to practice in the morning preferably, along with their contraindications.

Nadi Shodhana or Alternate breathing practice

Nadi-Shodhana- Mudra
Nadi Shodhana Mudra

What is this: There are three main Nadi Systems in the body, with the central one as Sushumna Nadi and the other two, Pingala & Ida Nadi. The right nostril is connected to Pingala & left to Ida. These two are directly connected to the brain, which in turn balances the two hemispheres, leading to a neutral state of mind. When alternate nostril breathing is practiced, it purifies and balances both of these systems. When the breath starts flowing freely and smoothly through both nostrils, the mind attains a state of joy and calmness, necessary to access deeper realms of consciousness.

How to: Sit straight in Sukhasana or Vajrasana preferably away from the wall. Now make the Nasika mudra from the right hand, as shown in the image below.

Fold your index & middle finger while keeping your ring & little finger straight. (You can also place the index & middle finger on the forehead between the eyebrows).

Now place the thumb on the right nostril gently and exhale through the left. Inhale & exhale 3 times on the left, then close the left nostril with the ring finger immediately.

Exhale and inhale 3 times from the right, now bring the hand down. Deeply & slowly inhale and exhale in the center from both the nostrils (assume the inhalation & exhalation is happening from the nostrils). This is one round.

Relaxing Yoga Breathing - Nadi Shodhana Pranayama - (Alternate Nostril Breathing)

Now conduct the same procedure all over again, but starting from your right instead of left. Keep doing this for 12 rounds, but starting from the other side each time. So the sequence goes like this: L x3, Rx3, Centre x3; Rx3, Lx3, Cx3; L x3, Rx3, C x3; Rx3, Lx3, Cx3…. till you complete 12 rounds. One can start with 3-4 rounds initially, gradually increasing the count.

Benefits of Nadi Shodhana: Balancing of breath & both hemispheres, cleansing of nadis, helps circulatory and respiratory systems, tranquilizing the mind, activating the intuition center in the body, etc. Every individual will experience subjective outcomes depending on their practice, body & concentration level.

Contraindications: None!

Kapalbhati Pranayama

kapalbhati-pranayama
Kapalbhati pranayama

What is this: Kapal – skull, Bhati – light, this advanced technique of pranayama sends light & energy to the skull by pumping the abdomen. The sharp movement of the abdomen under the influence of breath helps in balancing the channels in the body.

How to: Be seated in a comfortable position on the mat, either Sukhasana or Vajrasana (Thunderbolt pose) and place both the hands on the knees. Bring your awareness to your lower belly. Take a deep breath in and contract your lower belly, forcing out the breath with full force. Your stomach will contract with each exhalation.

Do not make an effort to inhale, it would happen naturally. Without really pausing to breathe again, keep exhaling in quick short bursts. Remember not to contract your abdomen when you inhale. Begin slowly, doing 15-20 times initially. Gradually quicken the pace to 40-45 exhalation/inhalation cycles per minute. Move at your own pace, and with regular practice you will be able to increase the speed.

Kapalabhati Pranayama: The Skull Shining Breath

Now check the nostrils by placing your index finger under your nose and see which one is active. It should be balanced. If it is not, keep an account of which one is active. Gently turn the head in the direction of the active nostril. So if your right nostril is active, turn your head to the right and do kapalbhati 10 -15 times and vice versa. Check the activeness of the nostrils again; if it is still not balanced, you can repeat the second procedure. Or do alternate nostril Kapalbhati, as described in the video below.

Alternate Nostril Kapalabhati

Benefits of Kapalbhati Pranayama: Balances brain hemispheres & breath, cleanses the lungs, improves blood circulation, strengthens the digestive system & nervous system, rejuvenates brain cells, cleanses all nadis, cures low BP, removes lethargy, uplifts the mind and reduces belly fat.

Contraindications: Practice only 3-4 hours after meals or on empty stomach. People suffering from heart ailments, high BP, headache, epilepsy, hernia, gastric ulcers & during pregnancy or periods should avoid this. People with hypertension and heart problems should practice this breathing technique under the guidance of a yoga teacher.

Bhastrika or Bellows Breath practice

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What is this: Just like a blacksmith uses a bellow to supply a blast of air, similarly Bhastrika pranayama acts a bellow tool for the human body. It accelerates the digestive fire, pumps in more oxygen to the brain and activates the mind to work faster.

How to: Sit straight in Sukhasana/Vajrasana and just as we do Kapalbhati pranayama, take a deep breath. Now exhale sharply without exerting pressure on your nose and inhale sharply immediately.

The only difference in the technique of Kapalbhati & Bhastrika is that the latter needs one to inhale and exhale at the same speed, consciously & sharply. Both your hands will go up and down with force. On inhalation hands go up and on exhalation hands come down. Do this 15-20 times. Now check your nostrils, see which one is active. If both are active, perfect!

If only one nostril is active, then turn your head towards the active nostril’s direction. Start inhaling & exhaling with speed after turning your head in the required direction. For example: If the right nostril is active, then turn your head towards the right side, and do Bhastrika. Vice-a-versa for the other and do this for 15-20 times. The nostrils would balance themselves.

Bellows Breath (Bhastrika)

Benefits: Balancing all 3 doshas (Vatta, Pitta, Kapha), increase metabolism, good for pregnant women during labor pain, balances the nervous system, reduces lethargy, helps in recovering from bronchitis, tuberculosis etc.

Contraindications: High BP, heart diseases, hernia, ulcers, epilepsy, glaucoma, during periods should avoid this pranayama.

These two practices when merged with others like Brahmari (Humming bee breath) & Ujjayi pranayama (psychic breath) can achieve results unparalleled in comparison to any form of meditation.

There are as many approaches to pranayama as there are to the practice of asanas. With regular and sustained practice of pranayama you can connect to the universal energy that runs through us and everything around us.

You will begin to feel calmer, quieter, more centered, more in touch with the pulses of your body, mind and breath. So pause for a moment, observe your breath and feel the energy flow!

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Bellow
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Change: Are you Embracing or Resisting It?

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“Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender who you are for what you could become” ~ Unknown

One thing in life is certain: change. Things are constantly changing. From an external standpoint we can see that our bodies are constantly changing – cells are constantly reproducing, our skin is shedding and being replaced with new skin, we grow taller and get older.

embrace-change

The earth is also constantly changing. The geography of earth changes, trees die, trees grow, bodies of water dry up, and the weather changes. Culturally we are also in a state of constant change.

The music changes, fashion changes, and even things like television programs are drastically different than they were 50 years ago. It’s pretty evident that in the world we see, there is literally nothing that stays the same always. But what about internally?

If we can see that everything outside of us never stays the same, does that also mean that who we are internally is constantly changing? The answer is unequivocally, yes.

Of course who we are is constantly growing and shifting. The person we were at 10 yrs old is drastically different than the person we are at 25 years old. Given that the evidence of change is all around us, it is a wonder that so many of us resist change at all costs.

We may cling to things like jobs or friends or romantic relationships that at one time made us happy even though the evidence is right in front of us… things have changed. We have changed. They have changed.

transformation
“Don’t be so stuck in a situation or feeling that when the tide turns you can’t see the transformation or manifestation. The caterpillar eventually turns into a butterfly. You will need to determine which perspective you will see.” ~ Laticia Dezell

Even worse, there are those of us who are still completely attached to the thoughts, beliefs and ideals they had 10 years ago. And even worse than that, there are those that still have the EXACT SAME thoughts, beliefs and ideals that their parents taught them, which were old thoughts, beliefs and ideals passed down from their parents to them.

Since the certainty of change extends to who we are internally and our consciousness level as well, it is assured that the more we cling to old beliefs we are inhibiting ourselves from being able to evolve fully and with ease. From an internal standpoint this may mean that we hold on to old hurts or resentments. We may also be completely closed off to new ideas or people who don’t live a lifestyle that is conducive to what we believe is “right.”

Looking outside of ourselves, our resistance to change will translate into our lives in any number of ways. We may stay in relationships with people too long, or in places or careers too long. Or we may hold people to an image of who they WERE without ever taking notice of who they are now, which can lead to constant frustration from us and them.

Point blank, the sooner we embrace change with open arms the sooner we can discard who we were or who we thought we were and become an even better more efficient version of our former selves.

alan-watts-change-quote“Change can be scary but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving and progressing” ~ Mandy Hale

In order to fully accept and embrace change we must first confront what it is about ourselves that has become in such resistance to the change. Anytime something is holding us back from becoming a better person, or being more open and accepting to our ever-evolving lives and an ever-evolving world, it is most certainly one culprit: FEAR.

Fear peeks its ugly little head in so many different ways. It may be fear of the unknown, fear of being wrong, fear of losing control, fear of losing part of our “identity”, fear of feeling emotions, or even fear of success, but whatever the case may be it is the number one thing that inhibits us from being open to change and moving forward with our lives.

Confronting our fears can be the most beneficial thing we can ever do for ourselves. Anytime we are completely closed off to hearing the other side of the story, or to losing a “label” we have for ourselves, or to entertaining new beliefs and learning new ways of doing things or looking at things, or making judgments on people or groups of people that are condemning them, we can always trace these things back to fear.

It may be a little frightening at first to confront head on everything we thought we “knew” about life, or ourselves or other people, but unless we do it, we will remain internally stagnant.

Life will still be changing around us. We will be growing older, society is changing, friends, and family are changing but until we get on the “I’m open to change” bandwagon, we run the risk of living the exact same year over and over 80 years in a row and calling it a “life.”

We may become so attached to an ideology, and what we believe is definitively “right” and what is “wrong” that we don’t open ourselves up to understanding people or things from a different perspective, which in turn makes us angry, and critical of others. When we are rooted in fear we automatically close ourselves off to moving forward and becoming better people.

We are not born knowing everything, and if we think we know everything now that should be a red flag that we have closed ourselves off from seeing the world in a new way or from learning something new or from opening ourselves up to new possibilities.

“Change is inevitable, progress is optional” ~ Tony Robbins

Change is inevitable. With that knowledge we have two choices, we can hold on tight to every belief, thought, emotion, friendship, relationship, or whatever to the point that we become completely rigid and afraid of anyone or anything that threatens our little bubble of wanting to remain exactly the same person, with exactly the same personality, with exactly the same life that we always have been.

Or we can become open to every possibility. We can consider all ideas, be willing to be spontaneous if we need to be and allow ourselves to be guided by love instead of paralyzed by fear.

If we can look back at the person we were 5 years ago, or a year ago and safely see that we have become more loving, open-minded, more compassionate, happier or healthier then we can be rest assured that we are progressing forward and changing for the better.

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Change
Embrace change
Change

An Introduction to Yoga and Meditation for Children

“If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.” ~ Dalai Lama

As more adults understand and appreciate the benefits of yoga and meditation to combat mounting stress in daily lives, teaching children mindful practices too can go a long way in shaping their future.

Introducing yoga and meditation for children at a young age can help them to connect to their own inner source of calm and assure them a healthy adulthood.

91c318cf80550c868321e34a4cef083cNowadays, I’ve seen children highly equipped with technological gadgets. Parents also encourage their children to be good with technology, which is not a bad thing, but at the same time a child should also be encouraged to play outdoors, spend time in nature, as these activities helps a child to evolve and grow.

A detailed research by Princeton publication suggests that children who tend to spend more time on computers and gadgets fall prey to illness and depression later in their lives. They are also prone to aggressive and violent behaviour. In such challenging times, yoga and meditation is the need of the hour.

Much research has been done to study the impact of childhood stress on one’s adulthood.

Our personality and the way we perceive life is largely based on our conditioning and the events (pleasant or unpleasant) we underwent as a child. If, as a child, we were fearful and panicky, as an adult too, we continue to show such behaviour and issues.

teaching Yoga to kidsInculcating the practice of yoga and meditation in a child’s life

Children who learn yoga and meditation will become more aware about themselves and their surroundings. It helps them to regulate their own emotions and learn how to pay attention inside and out. It gives them a sense of center and, therefore, resilience.

According to a 2004 study of 8 to 13-year-old boys with ADD, practicing yoga once a week for five months resulted in increased concentration, mental and physical discipline and improved confidence among participants.

Teaching our children the importance of mind, body and breath through yoga can help them concentrate and focus. Taking our mind and body for granted is a modern-age phenomenon and consequences of this phenomena is deteriorating the quality of our lives.

If the younger generation is made to understand the importance of mind and body, there will be a positive shift in the world.

Meditation is a great form of energy therapy and even five minutes of meditation everyday can help children in being creative, imaginative and intuitive individuals. They will recognise their potential unique personality and comfortably settle down in being themselves.

In times where peer pressure is on the rise, meditation will help them to face life with greater belief in their potential. A research states that meditation also reduces impulsiveness among children.

How does one Begin Yoga and Meditation for Children?

One can begin with few simple steps for example, asking kids to focus on their breathing for five minutes. By simply noticing their breath, how their chest rises and falls with the breath, helps them to be in the moment. Then gradually teach them to close their eyes and breathe for 15 minutes.

Give them something to look at (at the sky if its outdoors or on the ceiling if they are lying down). Ask them to relax their gaze by trying to see out the sides of their eyes (it uses the peripheral vision which helps to relax the brain). Do not force them, give them time to get comfortable with it.

One can start with mermaid pose or tree pose and there are several yoga poses that can be extremely fun for children. Here is a chart that shows few asanas:

yoga and meditation for children

Yoga For Children - Meditation

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Yoga Chart 
Yoga Pose