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Creating Boundaries: Why Putting Ourselves First is Necessary

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“The best day of your life is the one in which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins” ~ Bob Moawad

If there’s one thing we need to know about life it’s this: we deserve to be happy. And not only do we deserve happiness, but happiness is our natural state of being, so if you are not 100% happy in this moment, it means something has gone awry.

There is an issue that needs to be addressed. No this does not mean that everyone in our life acts exactly like we think they should, it just means we take people as they come, and then we choose whether or not we would like them to be a part of our life.

Nor does it mean that we have zero aspirations for our life, it just means we take full responsibility for achieving them or not achieving them.

boundaries-for-a-healthy-relationshipAnd no it does not mean that we are 100% certain of how exactly we are going to go about achieving those goals, it just means that even in uncertainty, we feel a sense of inner peace because we know uncertainty is part of the fun.

When we take full responsibility for how our life is going and will go means we set the boundaries for who or what we will put up with. We change the things we can, and accept the things we can’t. If we allow ourselves to settle into this inherent truth about our life, we also give the other people in our life the permission to do the same.

Which means, when someone else in our life tells us they plan to pursue their own version of happiness, whether it means how we want them to or don’t want them to, we accept it. Just like we have the right to pursue our own versions of happiness, they do as well.

Explained this way, things sound like they could be really simple right? Everyone just does what makes them feel the happiest… sounds easy. So why is it so hard for us to navigate through our lives and our relationships with others sometimes?

The problem is boundaries. Many people not only don’t have them, but don’t even know where to start. Their sense of self and self-worth is so tied into how other people think of them or how other people feel about them that they have forgotten to take care of the only person they really have control and responsibility over in this life… themselves.

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal and necessary.” ~ Doreen Virtue

When we pay too much attention to the outside world instead of what is going on inside of us we run the risk of losing connection with ourselves. We stop being able to find happiness on the inside so we keep searching for it from the outside, whether it be in romantic relationships, friendships, relationships with employers, or parent-child relationships.

When we don’t become our own well of happiness, and self-worth first and foremost, we run the risk of eliminating all of our boundaries, because we become more concerned with how other people feel about us rather than how we feel about ourselves.

Two of the main motives for not putting up boundaries for ourselves are fear and guilt. A person may be afraid to upset someone else, afraid to make a wrong decision, or be “confrontational” so they allow themselves to stay just a little too long in situations that are detrimental to their own well-being. Guilt, which stems from fear, comes into play when we are not wanting to be seen as the “bad guy”.

When a person’s sense of self depends on another person’s opinion of them, they never want to be the one setting the rules, or making the boundaries because they run the risk of being the one to “blame” if the other person gets upset.

In order to effectively set boundaries for ourselves we must first and foremost bring the attention back to ourselves and our own behavior. Many times we spend so much time thinking about all the things that the other person did to us rather than asking ourselves why we put up for it as long as we have.

542370_198631363602385_1357143789_nWe only have the power to control and heal our own selves and behavior so we must make that our main focus. Whether a person is operating from fear or guilt, or most likely a little of both, a reconnection with self is necessary.

When we reconnect with our own feelings, thoughts and behaviors we are much more likely to be successful in setting healthy boundaries because we will know who or what make us feel good, and who or what makes us feel bad. It really can be that simple if we let it.

When a person has been operating from a “no boundaries” standpoint for a long time, learning how to say “no” and mean it may be a little harder at first, but far from impossible. It will take time and practice.

But if we focus on the bigger picture of our lives we come to a harsh reality that most people don’t think of when they allow themselves to stay stuck in unhealthy relationships. There is no “prize” in the end for sticking through an unhealthy relationship, for allowing your kids to walk all over you, for staying working for a manipulative boss for 40 years.

At the end of your life no one will say, “Good for him! He worked for that manipulative boss all those years and was mistreated and unhappy, he really stuck it out!” Nor will they say “Oh it’s so commendable that she allowed herself to be mistreated by that man for 20 years and never lived the life she truly wanted.”

Bottom line, the more time we spend in places that don’t make us happy, the more time we lose enjoying the true pleasures of life. Spending time doing hobbies that we love or around people who make us happy. It is not selfish, it is NECESSARY to make our own happiness should be our number one priority.

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The Seven Monomythic Arts of Self-inflicted Philosophy

“We have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is fully known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero-path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.” ~ Joseph Campbell

The Prince was written by Machiavelli to show those in power how to hold onto their power. Self-inflicted Philosophy is being written to show those who are not in power how to empower themselves and then how to expiate that power.

It is a guide toward self-actualization and immanence using eco-centric strategies in an ego-centric world. It aids individuals in becoming individuated and reconditioning the precondition of culture in order to discover their own personal philosophy. Here are the seven arts of Self-inflicted Philosophy.

The Art of Self-interrogation

“If the path before you is clear, you’re probably on someone else’s.” ~ Joseph Campbell

This is where the philosophy gets its name. Striking out on our own path is no easy task. It requires ruthlessness and a unique flavor of rebellious courage that most people lack the capacity for. That’s why it is ‘self-inflicted’ and not self-discovered or self-empowered. The term “inflicted” has shock-value, just like “interrogation” does.

It has a ruthless undertone to it that propels us past our fears. And getting past our fears is the key toward discovering our authentic vocation. The one who has the courage to question everything –self, people, religion, God– this is the one who changes the world. This is the one who discovers their own philosophy.

Self-interrogation is, in a fundamental sense, a dialectic engagement with our Self about how to lead the best possible life. It is a self-inflicted philosopher’s guide through the screwtape of the Truth/Doubt dichotomy.

Healthy skepticism is an uncomfortable skill that nonetheless must be honed. We don’t hone it by yearning for an answer or settling for answers when they appear.

We hone it by yearning for more elegant questions and further questioning “answers” when they appear. In other words we interrogate the answer. We interrogate by questioning without the expectation of an answer.

We interrogate by surrendering ourselves to the question. What we must surrender is nothing less than our expectation of receiving an answer. It is through questions, not answers, that one becomes wise.

Like Einstein said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.”

 

The Art of Fallibility

“Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” ~ Gandhi

tumblr_lwfl2yCl561qca432o1_500This is the art where we learn how to come to terms with the fallibility of the human condition. The art of fallibility is critical in identifying the absurdity of the Self. Indeed, it reveals how the self has become a bureaucracy of hypocrisy.

But it’s also about finding a higher state of humility and a sacred humor that crushes any and all forms of despair that may arise. The art of fallibility is a double-edged sword. On the one side it teaches us about change, and reminds us that we can be wrong, and will more than likely be wrong in the future.

It reminds us to treat others with compassion, and instead of taking their fallibility and hypocrisy as a sign that they are stupid or evil, we can look at our own fallibility and hypocrisy and conclude that they are, like us, only human.

The other side of the sword is just as sharp. It teaches us about the power of sacred humor, despite our inherent fallibility. Through the tragicomic path of the sacred clown, it reveals how humor can trump all self-serious states and petty emotions.

Humor teaches us how to accept that all things are impermanent, and that it’s okay to laugh at our irrational need for permanence. Indeed, a good sense of humor is the only thing, other than love, that can get us through the existential pressure of impermanence.

A good sense of humor relieves us of the tension inherent with being a fallible being vainly attempting to perceive a reality that is intrinsically imperceptible.

Mark Twain said it best: “Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”

The Art of Rebellion

“The only war that matters is the war against imagination. All other wars are subsumed by it.” ~ Diane Di Prima

This is the art of trial and error, the path of sublimation, where we learn how to bring beauty and meaning to the world in the hopes that moral philosophies will follow. Here we learn how to become catalysts of the first order, tiny sparks that have the potential to create a roaring fire.

The art of rebellion teaches us how to be autonomous gadflies and self-proficient artists in order to “disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed.” Here we learn how art can wake us up from our doldrums, sublimate our fears, and make us come alive.

We learn how to become rebellious artists, dissenting poets, apocalyptic musicians, and mutineer magicians.

Like Picasso said, “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.”

Indeed, rules don’t apply to people brave enough to break them and smart enough to escape the tyrants who made them.

Like Jose Marti said, “For what man who is master of himself does not laugh at a king?”

We learn how to become catalysts who indirectly teach others about the numinous: a force that sometimes emanates from nature and certain works of art. The kind of art that leaves us in awe before the mysterium tremendum et fascinans (the awe-inspiring, mesmerizing mystery).

We learn how to harness this force in order to mock the establishment, humble the powers-that-be, and create real world change through aesthetic chaos.

A rebellious artist declares to the world, “I’m not creating anarchy, I’m creating art. Anarchy is simply a side-effect of my art. I’m not creating revolution, I’m creating love. Revolution is simply a side-effect of my love.”

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The Art of Progressive Sustainability

“Nature has neither core nor skin: she’s both at once outside and in.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The concept of sustainability has two almost opposite and contradictory meanings: to provide for in equilibrium, and to prevent change.

Progressive sustainability rejects the latter and embraces the former, by showing us how to get back in balance with nature while accepting that change is inevitable and even necessary for our survival as a species. And this might mean, paraphrasing Isaac Asimov, “Never letting your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right.”

Here we learn the secret to the paradox of right and wrong through the cosmic voice of Immutable Law spoken through a language older than words, “Notions of right & wrong should be derived from the natural dictation of healthy & unhealthy lest they be muddled by the human opinion of good & evil.”

Like Nietzsche surmised, “Listen rather, my brothers, to the voice of the healthy body: this is a purer voice and a more honest one. And it speaks of the meaning of the earth.”

In this art we learn about holistic moderation, and the repudiation of unsustainable paradigms for the synergy of sustainable ones. Most importantly, we learn how to become ecocentric and interdependent (spiritus mundi), rather than egocentric and independent.

This requires a kind of spiritual insurrection; a touch of soulcraft that launches us out of the outdated and parochial worldview, that focuses on material wealth, and into the updated broad-minded zeitgeist that focuses on holistic wealth.

The art of progressive sustainability teaches us how to be the walking personification of the Gaia principle: eco-conscious instead of ego-unconscious, proactive instead of inert, moderate instead of greedy.

It teaches us what Gandhi knew to be true: that “the earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”

The Art of Illusions

“Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one.” ~ Albert Einstein

This is where we learn about Immanuel Kant’s noumenal (actual reality) and phenomenal (perceptual reality), and how the seeming “paradox” in the universe is only due to the fallibility of conscious observation. This is because we are attempting to perceive an infinite reality using finite faculties, and so paradox is inevitable.

Blaise Pascal said it best, “Man is equally incapable of seeing the nothingness from which he emerges as the infinity in which he is engulfed.”

We discover that it is actually our finite-bias –that is, our bias to things having a beginning and an ending– that creates the phenomenon of perceptual reality. Since we cannot grasp the inherent infinite nature of reality, our finite-bias creates a sub-reality that we call “reality.” It’s an illusion, sure, but like Einstein said, it’s a persistent one.

This art is also about how we come to terms with the fact that reality is an illusion. If, as Richard Feynman said, “Science is what we have learned about how to keep from fooling ourselves” then it behooves us to use science to come to terms with the illusion of reality, lest we become disillusioned.

From quantum mechanics to fractal cosmology, from Zeno’s paradox to Schrodinger’s equation, from quantum entanglement to Everett’s many worlds theory; the art of illusions teaches us how to become robust Infinite Players as opposed to fragile Finite Players (James P. Carse).

We learn how to transform boundaries into horizons, understanding, as Carse did, that, “a boundary is a phenomenon of opposition, whereas a horizon is a phenomenon of vision.”

We learn how to adapt and overcome to the trial and error of applying the scientific method to reality, and discover a spiritual flexibility as a result, leaving us constantly in awe and in love with the many vicissitudes of life.

 

The Art of Individuation

Lean-Wolf“To be or not to be’ is not the question — because you can’t have one without the other. Not-being implies being; just as being implies not-being. The existentialist in the West — who still trembles at the choice between being and not-being and therefore says that anxiety is ontological — hasn’t grasped this point yet. When the existentialist who trembles with anxiety before this choice realizes suddenly one day that not-being implies being, the trembling of anxiety turns into the shaking of laughter.” ~ Alan Watts

This is where we learn the cycle of the new-layman: a cycle of mastery that begins with the laymen, followed by the acolyte, the adept, the master and then circling back around to the new-layman, thus completing the cycle.

This constant adjustment to “beginner’s mind” creates a perpetual recycling of mastery that has the potential to become enlightenment. Of course, it’s also here where we learn how enlightenment should always be a journey and never a destination.

It is a constant shining light on the horizon. We don’t become the light by reaching it; we become the light by reaching for it. It shines exactly because we’re striving for it. If we should ever “reach” the light, it is a false light and must be discarded, (vis-à-vis, If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him).

This art also teaches us how to use the ego as a tool toward soulful transformation; more specifically, a transformation of the emotions that makeup the human condition. We learn how to transform anger into strength, fear into courage, pain into knowledge, and jealousy into compersion.

We learn how the nihilism that arises from an inherently meaningless universe must be countered by the courage to bring meaning to that meaninglessness.

Like Soren Kierkegaard said, “He who is educated by dread is educated by possibility.”

Ultimately we learn how to leverage our ego into a perpetual self-overcoming, resulting in the individuation of the ego and the self-actualization of the soul.

The Art of Immanence

“God emptied to the limit is man, and man emptied to the limit is God.” ~ Alan Watts

This is the art of hero-expiation and the reparation of power, where we learn self-humility, through the ultimate realization that everything is fundamentally interconnected. We learn how to be superlatively interdependent, embracing the soul-world dynamic.

We are all at once god and worm, sky and earth, micro and macro, yin and yang, life and death. We learn about sacred creativity: the expenditure of the life force through the creation of art, and how it is only through the creative process that we truly live, and, by contrast, discover a “good death.”

Indeed, it is only by discovering our authentic vocation, our own philosophy, and then gifting that philosophy back to the world that we might live forever. Between birth and death there is the cultural hero, who either actualizes his/her heroism or does not.

Those that do actualize it, become what Ernest Becker referred to as “Cosmic Heroes.” Those who do not actualize it, become subsumed by their culture, and become merely an idealistic interlude.

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The path toward cosmic heroism is a path of unburdening. It is made up of seven layers of deconditioning: the stripping of cultural armor, social armor, personal armor, existential armor, narcissistic armor, death armor, and finally, rebirth. What arises from this unfolding cocoon of self is a self-actualized being: the cosmic self, the immanent self, the Cosmic Hero.

As Cosmic Hero, we learn how to become a cocoon for others: a combination of both destructive and constructive forces contained within an arena of higher learning where the sacred dance, the push-pull between master and student, takes place.

We also learn how to live “intensively” rather than “extensively” (Kierkegaard’s Rotation Method), by living intensely in the moment rather than just expecting the next moment to arise. Ultimately, we learn how to dig up of the fertilized soil of “the old” in order to plant the seeds of “the new,” so that cosmic heroism may perpetuate itself throughout, and perhaps even beyond, the human leitmotif.

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Why do We Fear Death?

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“A man who thinks that death is the enemy can never be at ease, at home, that is impossible. How can you be at ease when the enemy is waiting for you any moment?” – Osho

Life is fleeting. And although we don’t come into this world knowing exactly how long we will have here, we do know that our time is limited. Death is assured. There are two ways you can take this.

The first is, you can see death as an enemy to be feared, and what we fear we empower. The consequence of seeing death in this manner is that you live each day in fear that death will come and life has not happened yet.

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All these things are supposed to have been done, supposed to have been accomplished, and god forbid death comes knocking before we’ve even got a chance to live our life… the life we think we SHOULD have lived.

The second way we can approach dying and death is to completely surrender to it. When we surrender to something, the conflict ceases to exist. How can death fight us if we have surrendered to it?

In this way, we get to appreciate life for what it is, while it’s happening in the present moment. We realize the mortality of the physical body that not only we inhabit but also that our loved ones inhabit, and in doing so, we start to appreciate our time here on this earth as an amazing experience and our time with our loved ones as something to be appreciated and treasured as they are happening, not just something to wish we would’ve appreciated after they are gone.

Life becomes one spontaneous joyful experience after another, although ultimately, an experience that cannot last forever. The fear of death may seem impossible to overcome because many of us are so attached to who we think we are here in this world, our personalities, our possessions, our families, our jobs… all the things we have “acquired” since we’ve been born.

However when we see life from a more spiritual standpoint instead of the physicality of our body and external reality, we may discover that there is in fact a part of us that not only is not afraid to die, but actually sees death as just another beginning to something bigger and better. How does one get in touch with the part of themselves that is not afraid to die?

“People are not afraid of death, they are afraid of losing their ego. Once you start feeling separate from existence the fear of death arises because then death seems to be dangerous. You will no longer be separate, what will happen to your ego, your personality? And you have cultivated personality with such care, such great effort, you have polished it with your whole life and death will come and destroy it.” ~ Osho

At our purest essence we are a field of pure presence, a part that is and always has been a part of the eternal universe. To this part of ourselves, the one synched up with eternity and infinity, a human life span of about 80-90 years feels like a minute or two.

This part of ourselves is a part of the all that is, it was never born, and it will never die. So if this is who we are in our purest and most simple form, what part of ourselves IS afraid to die?

Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico o pray for and remember friends and family members who have died

Only things that “began” can come to an end, only things that are “born” can die. The part of ourselves that was born, was of course our body which includes the brain which houses all the thoughts, ideas, and beliefs of who we THINK we are.

The mind houses all the labels and attributes we attach to ourselves. Since the mind is a part of our physical body, which was born, it also is mortal.

The mind can be very useful and of course we need it to navigate our way through the world, but when we become too attached to the thoughts in our head vs. our eternal self we start to not only believe in, but also fear our own mortality just like the mind does.

The problem with this is we are NOT our mind, we are not our thoughts. We are the eternal presence behind them, the observer of this “movie” we call life, so to speak. With this realization, comes an amazing sense of relief.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality, let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like” ~ Lao Tzu

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Maybe all this ‘life and death’ stuff isn’t as serious as we’ve all made it out to be. If we look at it as if we are just here for the ride, an actor in the “play”, so to speak, death doesn’t seem so final.

It becomes just another part of life. We enjoy our family and friends and houses and cars and money while we are here of course, but we also understand that in the end, we do not get to take these things with us.

It doesn’t mean we don’t experience sadness when one of our loved ones leaves this world, but if there’s a part of us that knows that we are eternal, we know this about them as well.

Which means, yes their physical body may not be here, but they are never really gone… their true self, that is. And if we’ve learned anything from the countless accounts of near-death experiences, it’s that death doesn’t really sound that bad.

In fact most people say it was so amazing, that they didn’t want to come back… which is something else we can find peace in. As with any great play, there is a time when the production must come to an end.

If we know this coming into the play, we can focus on making the “play” of our life the amazing, interesting, joyful experience we can and when it’s all said and done, we leave grateful for the experience of it all… but can rest peacefully knowing that nothing left behind was really “ours” to begin with.

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10 Beautiful Life Lessons from Calvin and Hobbes

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Bill Watterson’s Calvin and Hobbes was undoubtedly, an integral part of my childhood. As a child, it entertained me and made me think and laugh at the same time.

The comic strip that revolved around a six-year old boy Calvin and his satirical wise tiger Hobbes, is known for its simplicity, humour and light heartedness.

They were found talking about life, friends, wisdom, love and many other interesting strands of life. There are valuable lessons to be learnt from this comic duo. I personally connect to the “easy going” style of profound storytelling and I know some of the strips philosophy is going to stay with me for the rest of my life.

Here are ten beautiful life lessons from Calvin and Hobbes.

1) Keep exploring!

We should always be open to possibilities. I have come across people who feel so burdened by responsibilities of modern life that they forget to look outside the window. Dolly Parton said, ‘Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.’ In this mad rat race, we are slowly succumbing to monotonous ways.

It is true that best things in life come for free and for that one needs to keep exploring. You never know what can bring you immense joy – a flower, a passing stranger, one particular tune from a song. You will be surprised and it’s not a bad idea to keep surprising yourself every now and then rather than getting stuck in the routine.

Break the boundaries and as Calvin said, “It’s a magical world Hobbes, Ol’buddy, LET’S GO EXPLORING!”

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2) Spend time with friends

Life is a journey and on this journey we come across several people who teach us a lot, give us strength when we are in despair, help us in overcoming our fears and also give us immense happiness.

We choose to call these people our true friends. Aristotle said, “A true friend is one soul in two bodies.” Friends nourish your soul and always be grateful to such friends as without them you would have been lost somewhere.

Calvin and Hobbes share great friendship and they said, “Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget.” Always try to spend some time with your friends as without them life would be dull.

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3) The real source of Happiness

Calvin and Hobbes in this particular strip are discussing about conditional and unconditional source of happiness. There is no denying that we live in a materialistic world and most of us are conditioned to gauge our happiness in terms of the wealth we possess. In fact, this mentality has led to destructive capitalism where greed is ruling over people’s mind.

But people in the pursuit of happiness know that materialistic happiness is temporary. The real source of joy comes from within and nothing in the outer world can change this. Troubled by people’s affiliation to materialism, Calvin and Hobbes hope that someday people would understand the worth of unspoiled beauty, wildlife, solitude and spiritual renewal which is priceless.

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4) Changing Perspective

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In life, we all face situations or people that shatter us from within. Most of us find it difficult to forgive or move past the situation, but dwelling in the past is not going to be fruitful, as it will only intensify the damage everyday. In this strip, Calvin says, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

This implies that one should be able to historyseparate the sinner from the sin. If you look at the person who harmed you with love, you may or may not find the reason behind their harmful behaviour, but you will be at peace.

5) Life has no order and direction

This strip talks about the wisdom of uncertainty. We all feel comfortable following a well-experimented path which guarantees success but what worked yesterday may not work today.

Here Calvin means that we should stop looking at present with historical lenses. Life has no order and direction. One would be happier living in the now.

6) Be cool

BtJ0lj-IMAAM9v7.webp-largeLife is far too important to be taken seriously. Being serious gets us nowhere but closer to a denial of reality.

Live in the moment, enjoy the small things in life like a child, and not get trapped in the web of thoughts and feelings, and don’t forget a sense of humour goes a long way!

7) Enjoy the present

tumblr_lxx80nYaAG1rn2aypo1_500One cannot enjoy the present because of two reasons; worrying about the future and dwelling in the past. The present is all we have, and if you are not living in the present then you’re living in illusion.

If you’re living in the past, you can’t do anything about it, it’s gone. If you’re worrying about the future, you’re living somewhere that doesn’t exist. The only way to change your life is by enjoying the present.

8) Nothing lasts forever, everything changes!
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“Change is a shark in the ocean. Change never stops, never sleeps: it must always keep moving. The good news is if you hate the way things are, they will change. The bad news is if you love the way things are, they are certain to change as well. The only thing inevitable about life is change, not death. Change is here to stay!”

Change is here to stay and change is what makes life beautiful. You enjoy sunshine after months of rainy days, you enjoy rains after months of sunshine.

One of the most ironical yet poignant truth of life is that we wouldn’t enjoy sunshine if there were no rains and vice versa. Change is how we evolve and experience life.

9) Stay happy

When the chips are down, and our backs are against the wall, happiness is a choice. It’s up to us. We all have the capacity to cultivate our own happiness. Being happy isn’t an if/when proposition – “I will be happy if…” or “I will be happy when”– It’s a will/won’t admonition. As Calvin realises, “It’s hard to argue with someone who looks so happy.”

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10) Everything depends on you

Henceforth,
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1) Exploring 2) Friendship 3) Deciding mental paradigm 
4) Changing perspectives 5) Life has no order and direction
6) Be cool 7) Enjoy the present 8) Nothing lasts forever 
9) Be happy 10) Everything depends on you 

4 Ways to Harness the Courage to Overgrow the System

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Overgrowing the system is a bottom-up approach to replacing the current regressive unhealthy/unsustainable system with a potentially progressive healthy/sustainable one. But overgrowing the system is no walk in the park. It requires courage, patience and resilience.

Even the people we care about the most may still be hooked on the outdated system, so it also requires loving compassion, but definitely not pacifism or pity. We should be sympathetic with their plight, but not to the extent that we let them off the hook for not being responsible with their power.

As it stands, the current system is the main force that’s causing the environmental destruction and social issues that we are tackling today. Being bold in the face of that destruction is the height of courage in our day and age.

So here are four ways to go about harnessing that courage and overgrowing the system.

overgrow-the-system1) Overgrow yourself

“The revolution begins at home. If you overthrow yourself again and again, you might earn the right to overthrow the rest of us.” ~ Rob Brezsny

You want to heal the world, begin by healing yourself. You want to overthrow the system, begin by overthrowing yourself. Likewise, if you want to overgrow the system, overgrow yourself. Like a self-overcoming Nietzschean Ubermensch overcoming itself again and again, self-overgrowth has the power to topple tyranny.

Don’t worry about other people. Don’t worry about the system not cooperating. Don’t worry about not having enough of this or that.

Make do with what you have and overgrow yourself every single day until you’re the walking personification of Camus’ liberating quote “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion,” and then overgrow yourself again.

Keep doing it, over and over. Don’t stop. The world needs more people who are so absolutely free that their very existence is an act of rebellion.

Feed your body healthy food. Feed your brain healthy thoughts. Feed your soul healthy doses of “can do!” Then wrap it all up by feeding your mind body and soul with healthy mindful meditation. Before you know it you’ll be an expert at overgrowing yourself and then you will be in a place where you can make a difference by overgrowing the system.

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2) Boost your largesse

“The earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” ~ Gandhi

What are you doing to make things better? What are you doing to lift up others? If you want to overgrow the system, you need to realize that “the system” is made up of people. These are people who feel like there is no other way.

These are people who are so caught up in the smoke and mirrors of the unsustainable system that they mistake the smoke and mirrors for reality.

The way we overgrow such a system is by giving back through radical generosity. Stop whining, “Me! Me! Me!” and start declaring: “We!” After all, we empower each other. So let’s transform borders into centers for healthy dialogue. Let’s embrace the core tenants of permaculture: care for the earth, care for the people, return of surplus.

Find out whatever it is that you are good at and then gift that back to your community. And if you’re someone who has more than you need, expiate your wealth. It’s what I call capital munificence, the expiation and reciprocity of wealth with emphasis on holistic and eco-moral compassion.

Tear down the culturally conditioned false ideal of greed. Recondition your conditioned reflex to own things. You don’t own anything. You’re borrowing it, at best. Overcoming the ownership-based culture and adapting a relationship-based approach will get you everywhere closer to overgrowing the system.

3) Be carefree rather than careless

“We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~ Carlos Castaneda

Be lighthearted, not troubled. Be happy-go-lucky, not anxious. Be optimistic, not pessimistic. And if you are troubled, anxious, and/or pessimistic, then be proactive about assuaging whatever it is that is causing you to feel that way.

There are ways to be both carefree and proactive: by growing a garden instead of a lawn, by writing what you’re passionate about instead of what you’re told to, by speaking truth to power, by liberating the unliberated. Having a relaxed cheerful disposition rather than a thoughtless inconsiderate one, is a great way to lead by example and overgrow the system.
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And the more proactive we are about being lighthearted the more likely we are to soften the hardhearted. You can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of the system, or you can rise up with a full heart and push back.

So be nonchalant with your passion, especially in the face of tyranny. Be insouciant with your love, the rest of the world will just have to adapt. Be a shining light, as bright as the sun, that way the people you shine your light upon will, like blossoming seeds, feel liberated to overgrow their bounds.

4) Make good art

“Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” ~ Pablo Picasso

MakeGoodArtAre you still caught up in the outdated, parochial paradigm of the system? Do you feel like there is no way out, that you’re caught in the quagmire of wakeup, work, watch TV, and sleep? Well I have news for you, there is a way out. It’s called Art.

Probably the best way to overgrow the system is through free artistic self-expression. If the system is suppressing you and turning you into a slave, overgrow it by responding with good art. When the shit hits the fan, make good art out of it, like Jackson Pollack splattering paint on a wall.

Make art the best you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be genuine. It doesn’t have to be the best thing ever; it just has to be the best you can do. Art liberates lives and has the power to topple governments, but it can also be used to enslave lives and brainwash the population.

That’s why Neil Gaiman and I are emphasizing “good” art. There’s a reason why Hitler seized more than 16,000 works of art. Art is inherently insurgent. Art is extremely political. It plants seeds that the powers-that-be are afraid will someday grow to overthrow their power. And so it is today, the system fears art that paints it in an unhealthy, unsustainable light.

But it is immensely unhealthy and unsustainable so, rebel artists the world over, I beseech you, paint your hearts out and overgrow the system.

http://youtu.be/cwkefG0ZPuc

Image source:

Soil
Overgrow your limits
Guerrilla Garden
Neil Gaiman quote