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The Difference Between Having Sex Vs Making Love

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“Unless your sexuality rises and reaches to love it is mundane, it has nothing sacred about it. When your sex becomes love, then it is entering into a totally different dimension – the dimension of the mysterious and the miraculous. Now it is becoming religious, sacred, it is no longer profane.” ~ Osho

Sex is sacred (not in a religious way), but as pure cosmic energy it’s an act that can connect us with the divine. It is the most profound way to facilitate deeper connections with our significant others.

Sex is meditatiosexual-energyn with someone else’s body and mind; it is a glimpse of ecstasy. In tantric terms, Sex is a means to bridge the gap between the mind and the body, between love and hate and the dualities of feminism and manhood.

But to have such a sacred experience with sex, one must let go of the glamorisation and glorification of sex that has been fed to us by various mediums, movies, books, media and even each other.

Sex has now become something that is used to satisfy one’s sexual desires or just for an orgasm.

If the orgasm was so easy to get then why is sex an expression of the divine? Why do we seek that connection? An orgasm is not the end, it is the beginning of our transcendence and during the course of this transcendence is when we meet the divine within our self and the divine within our partner.

Sex is a gateway to higher state of consciousness and probably it is more of a spiritual experience than a physical experience.

Why do People Indulge in Casual Sex?

For some individuals, sex with any random person is as good as sex with their wife or fiancée. While some consider it as sacred and they refrain from having sex with any random person.

What makes these individuals so radically different from each other is not just their ideals, but also their past experiences and changed outlook towards relationships. Or people who have been deceived or cheated on have a higher tendency to indulge in casual sex.

It can be a coping mechanism for people who have had a string of unsuccessful relationships which changed their outlook towards committed relationships.

Effects of Casual Sex

People indulging in frequent casual sex have reported stress and anxiety as a reason and conversely, people who have made love only to their significant others have reported sex to reduce their stress and anxiety levels.

Other common reactions include regret, disappointment, confusion, embarrassment guilt and low self-esteem.

Having Sex = Making Love?

shiv shakti love e1486485632971The modern day justification is sex can make people fall in love. Well, most of the times that is’nt the case. Sex is indeed a slow, gradual process wherein a couple can literally build love, create love and so the term “making love” is rightly coined.

Casual sex and making love are both used to refer to the same acts of sexual intercourse. The difference lies in the couples’ familiarity to each other, their reliability as partners and emotional connection with each other.

The act of making love creates love and compassion for our partner and makes us increasingly sensitive towards them.

“A good orgasm is satisfying but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” ~ David Deida

Sex is an act that leads to a mind, body and soul connection between two individuals. When sex is done to the mind, it can be nourished and grown into a beautiful experience lasting for a lifetime for both the participants and when sex is done to the body, it is reduced to nothing more than a stress-buster which can last for a minute or two.

As Osho rightly stated, “Sexuality is possible without any understanding, without any meditation. Love is possible only with understanding and meditation.”

Image Sources

Divine Love
Shiva Shakti

5 Tips to Help your Child Process their Emotions

“Giving a child the freedom to be himself is the most extraordinary gift a parent can give.” ~ Jay Morgan

For thousands of years reality (as we know it) has been governed by what we can perceive with our five senses, the physical world, or also known as masculine energy. The measure of a person could be gauged by what they looked like, how much money they had, the material possessions they owned and so on.

A person defined him or herself by the labels they attached to themselves. Things like age, job title, gender, nationality, and religion were all used as a means of identifying who we thought ourselves to be. Very little importance was given to cultivating our emotional health or embracing our feminine energy.

For a parent, raising a child meant pushing our children to succeed externally. This meant excelling at some sort of activity, getting good grades, having friends and maintaining a popular image socially.

Most people weren’t parented in a way that helped them identify and process emotions in a healthy manner thus they were not able to give these tools to their own children when they had them. For most of us growing up, very little importance was given to things such as emotional intelligence, and vulnerability.

But times have changed. It is now very much agreed upon that the way in which we deal with our emotions is imperative to living a happy and fulfilling life. How one deals with their feelings is always learned in childhood and has very much to do with how one was raised and reacted to when they were young.

Helping our children, especially our male children who have often gotten the short end of the stick when it comes to being able to feel without fear of ridicule, process emotions is imperative in aiding them into becoming a well-rounded adult.

Below are 5 ways to help our children process their emotions healthily and effectively:

“You don’t ‘fix’ your child. You create the conditions for them to rise.” ~ Dr. Shefali Tsabary

1) Emotions know no genderemotionalchild3

Our culture is filled with unfortunate stereotypes that have impaired the evolution of our growth emotionally. One of these beliefs is that men, or boys shouldn’t feel emotions, and this can lead to number of emotional issues later in life.

Emotional unavailability, anger issues, and depression are all examples of how the fear of feeling emotions may manifest eventually. When our boys feel safe to feel without being judged or ridiculed this helps them to not only be happier all around, but as they become adults, to be more loving partners, empathetic fathers and compassionate people in general.

To behave as though emotions are only for girls is actually quite silly when we really think about it, and to instill this belief into our children is a disservice to them in the long run.

 2) Be present without trying to ‘fix’ everything for them

It is never fun as a parent to see your child hurting. It is often so painful that our first instinct is to attempt to fix things for them. Rather than just allowing our child to sit in their pain and feel it, we want to jump in and think of a way to somehow make it go away.

But a present and conscious parent knows this isn’t always possible. And many times, this reactivity takes away from letting our child process their pain in a healthy manner. Sometimes all our child needs is a hug, and a simple, “I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, but I’m here with you and for you.”emotionalchildimage1

Often our children just want to be held and empathized with. This holding space for them as they sit in their pain can be quite healing and powerful in their journey into adulthood as they learn from us how to do this for themselves in the future.

3) No emotion is ‘wrong’

Ok, so to an adult losing our box of crayons or getting picked last for a game at recess doesn’t sound like that big  a deal. However, for our children things like this can be devastating. One of the worst things we can do as a parent is make our children feel as if their emotions are not valid or ‘right’.

Letting all emotions be ok is a lesson in authenticity for our children. It doesn’t mean we need to coddle them or fuel the fire by pretending as though we also believe their lost box of crayons is the end of the world, it only means we hold space for them to feel however they naturally do without telling them they are wrong for it. Ultimately they will be able to embrace and identify all of their natural occurring feelings without denying the truth of the present moment.

 4) Cultivate understanding rather than blame

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

A priceless tool we can instill in our children is the art of understanding why someone did something, vs. immediately jumping to blame. If we consistently jump to blaming someone or something else as our first reaction in the face of our children’s adverse emotions, we begin to instill in them a victim mentality.

emotionalchild4“Everyone is always doing something TO me,” becomes the way they begin to deal with life’s circumstances. However, by walking them through how the other person may have felt and helping them put themselves in the other person’s shoes we help them learn that not everything is always about them.

Everyone is acting from their own level of consciousness and understanding and helping our children learn not to take everything personally will lead to confidence and compassion for others over time.

5) Communicate, communicate, communicate!

Helping our children identify and process their emotions is done most effectively by talking to them about them! Listening to their stories without judgment, and then asking them questions such as, “how did that make you feel when that happened,” helps them to define which emotions they are really feeling.

It is no surprise that as adults we often hide our real emotions or reactions even from ourselves sometimes for either fear of judgment or because we have no idea what we were really feeling about something. By talking with our children, or suggesting they keep a journal of their day, or even make art based on how they are feeling we create a space for them to communicate to us and to themselves what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way.

This safety to talk about their most vulnerable aspects proves to be priceless as they grow into adults. Communicative, and emotionally healthy adults will not only be more successful externally but will feel more confident and sure of themselves on the inside, which is all we can really ask for our children, right?

Image Sources

Promise Art by Kattie Berggren
Boy writing in journal image – Evelyn Lauer
happy little girl

5 Ways Your Child’s Spirit could be Uprooted by Conventional Education

There are different stages in our lives when we question not only our existence but the system we have been conditioned to fit into. After becoming a mother of two children, I have been compelled to look for better ways of nourishing these soulful beings in a world which is in a constant state of flux.

Its no easy task, mind you. When you consider our current education system and how it breeds competition, favoritism and molds these young minds so that they fit in a corporate environment, finding an alternative way of learning became imperative.

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” ~ Alvin Toffler

One needs an open mind and courage to pursue the alternative path. We received a lot of flak from family when we decided to put our son in a Waldorf school (based on the philosophy of Rudolf Steiner).

Not only was the distance a concern (the school is 60 kms away from our home) but also that he is not going to know how to read and write until grade 1 and he is already 6 years old.

education systemThat didn’t deter us or make us reconsider our decision, because you would agree that the current education system doesn’t foster a child’s imagination, creativity or even honor their individuality. Reading and writing would become easier to learn once the foundation is strong enough.

“I am struck by the fact that the more slowly trees grow at first, the sounder they are at the core, and I think the same is true of human beings. We do not wish to see children precocious, making great strides in their early years like sprouts, producing a soft and perishable timber, but better if they expand slowly at first…and so are solidified and perfected. Such trees continue to expand with nearly equal rapidity to an extreme old age.” ~ from The Journal of Henry David Thoreau

Here are 5 ways to protect your child’s spirit from conventional education ~

1) The Current Education System Fails to Recognise the Uniqueness of Every Child

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” ~ Albert Einstein

education creativityModern day education system fails to recognise that each child is unique. Like how every plant is different and grows at its own pace; spinach grows faster than tomatoes. Similarly, each child is different and should be allowed to grow at his or her own pace. If you are too slow to learn, you probably will be labeled as a slow learner, or someone who doesn’t score too well in class and is definitely not the teacher’s pet.

But when each plant is given the right environment and condition to spread its roots, then it flourishes and blossoms. Similarly, these little beings of light should be given the freedom to choose their own path instead of molding them into another cog in a dysfunctional system.

Inevitably, we forget that we are part of nature too, so if nature has its own rhythm or pattern, why can’t your child? Let them colour outside the lines, take their own time to reach any ‘milestone’, as long as you are at peace with your child’s development, the opinions of others will not matter.

2) Play is considered a Waste of Time

“We don’t play, because we have to go to activity classes after school or have to do home work,” opined a 9 year old girl who was thrilled with her holidays because she got a chance to play. Play is regarded as a waste of time in many schools to an extent that children have shorter breaks in school.

child wonder and joyEven after school, there is a growing trend to enroll young children in endless activities.

Preeti Misra, Founder, Rainbow Bridge, Waldorf kindergarten and day care, in New Bombay, India, said “Early childhood is all about Wonder and Joy but I wonder is it so for a modern child today? School to day care or classes (Monday drawing, Tuesday skating, Thursdays soccer…) back home late and then to sleep and weekends are also all pre-planned with play dates, shopping with mamma and the list goes on and on. And then we have the Ipads, games and screen time that slips into the life of the days routine of the child.”

“Where is the time for the young child to breathe, sit back and relax, do nothing but just gaze out of the window and look. Where is the quite time in the day, a time without an agenda, a time to digest the days experience.

And then we wonder why is the child soul experiencing indigestion or is throwing up. We feel every experience needs to be a learning experience for the child. I wonder why?”

Play is the most engaging way to boost a child’s creativity, help in brain development, boosts immunity and so on. Research has shown that children who play outdoors regularly are happier, healthier, and stronger.

A study also reinforces the notion that today’s children lead a more passive, inactive life indoors than the previous generation. If the parents take the initiative to play with their child outdoors or take them for nature walks, fishing, walk in the forest and so on, then this would help the child understand his or her place in nature.

3) Information Overload

‘Too much’ of anything and everything is overwhelming, even for adults. Imagine a child being loaded with information, too many toys, given too many activities to do in a day, given too many choices, the outcome usually is a disruptive, stressful childhood.

Children these days are constantly bombarded with information which their immature brains can’t process or rationalise. Kids with a full plate of school work, extracurricular activities or sports each day may feel stressed and chaotic since they’re lacking the free time a child needs for creative play and exploration.

“Wisdom begins in wonder.” ~ Socrates

A study by American childhood developmental researchers reported that when children under five have too many toys, they lose their ability to play properly as they can’t concentrate on one thing long enough to actually learn from it.

Kim John Paynes in his book simplicity parenting says to use the extraordinary power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids. “We have heard it so very often – Keep it Simple! Then why not DO IT! Simplifying is good not only for the child but for us adults tooo. Less in more when it comes to toys and clothes, pre-planned games and activities for kids and more is less when it comes to free play, outdoors and unstructured toys.”

4) Too much Screen Time

screen time effect on childrenMy heart skips a beat when I see children as young as 2 years old playing on their parent’s phone or tablet. The proud parents say, “My child knows how to unlock my phone”. Schools encourage the use of modern technology to finish assignments and home works. This simply means that a child has to spend hours and hours on smartphones and iPads to do their research.

This stems from the growing belief that if the majority is doing it, it has to be right. We have been conditioned to follow the herd, do what you are told to instead of questioning what you are told.

Did you know Steve Jobs in spite of creating the world’s most popular electronic gadgets had limited the use of technology for his children at home? In one interview when asked whether his kids loved the iPads, he said, “They haven’t used it.”

One of the reasons for this would be the dangers associated with the use of technology. A number of troubling studies connect delayed cognitive development in kids with extended exposure to electronic media.

5) Home Work Makes you Smarter?

Have you ever told your better half to leave work at office and not to bring it home? Then why can’t this apply to children as well? Why are children given home work (the age group I am referring to is below 11 years) and expected to complete it within a short period of time.

When our son was barely 4 years old and was going to a regular school (which is shutting down now) was given home work literally every day, and once he was asked to write the alphabet 10 times. He never looked forward going to school and was in a miserable state.

In retrospect am grateful for that because it made us reconsider the current education system and take the big step of sending him to an alternative school. Multiple studies have found that students getting too much home work or extra assignments, lead to sleep deprivation, unhealthy levels of stress, as well as related health problems.

It not only burdens the young child but also eats into their free time. Apart from that, assignments don’t really engage the child because most of the times it is done by adults, tutors or ripped off from the Internet.

Every child needs the warmth, security and comfort not only by parents but mentors, teachers as well. Schools these days don’t provide that warmth or the right environment the child needs to nurture his higher consciousness.

The common ideology is to punish the child if he doesn’t listen, punish the child if he doesn’t complete his assignment or ridicule him, or ignore the child if he questions the teachers or any authority.

Protect their childhood and give them wings to fly and roots to ground them! 🙂

On Children
Kahlil Gibran (From the Prophet)

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

References
Kids and Screen Time

Image source
Children painting – Donald Zolan

The Seven Sacred Ceremonies of the Cherokee

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cherokee-tribe For the Cherokee, ceremony is an essential way of connecting with one another in the community and giving thanks to the Great Spirit for the bounty of crops and blessings provided. Earlier gatherings focused on tradition and heritage with activities for learning about plants and food, skills in hunting and even light-hearted competitive games.

In preparation of any ceremony, the Cherokee sent men out to hunt seven days beforehand. They also choose seven women to cook and perform a religious dance the night before. More so, seven men are chosen to plan the ceremony itself. Traditionally, there were many gatherings and ceremonies throughout the year, however these were the most sacred.

First New Moon of Spring

This ceremony typically takes place in March to celebrate the beginning of planting season. After having been shut away in their winter huts with a fire burning during the cold months, everyone emerges renewed and refreshed. It is a time for cleansing and purification.

The fire keeper prepares the new sacred fire and all houses and lodges are cleaned and hot coals from this new fire replaces the old ones. This symbolizes new beginnings and a renewal from Mother Earth. Predictions about crop success and failures are made. A deer tongue is then thrown into the Sacred fire. This ceremony lasts for seven days.

The Green Corn Ceremony or Selutsunigististi

corn-ceremony-cherokeeThere are two major ceremonies done yearly that honour the cultivation of corn. This one is done in August when the corn is ripe enough to eat. A message is sent out to the villages and along the way, seven ears of corn are gathered from fields of different clans.

The elders fast for six days prior and no new corn is to be eaten until the ceremony comes to an end. A cleansing ceremony is performed followed by prayer and the sacred fire is again extinguished and rekindled.

The stomp dance is done and corn kernels and tobacco are thrown into the fire as thanksgiving of new corn. Food that was made from the new corn is brought and everyone is fed.

Ripe Corn Ceremony or Donagohuni

This festivity is done in early fall when the corn is mature and ready for harvest. A leafy tree is placed in the center of the grounds and the corn dance is done by men carrying green boughs.

During this time, the women are prohibited from the sacred circle. Participants drink a special black drink made from herbs and roasted holly for purifying purposes. The drink is said to induce ritual vomiting therefore cleansing the digestive system. Afterwards the corn dance is performed by incorporating the motions used in harvesting the crops. This festival lasts for four days.

Great New Moon Ceremony or Nuwatiegawa

The new moon which falls closest to the Fall Equinox is the time of this ceremony. This is the Cherokee new year. Divining crystals are consulted for predictions of what the new year has in store for the people. Friendships are rekindled and gifts may be exchanged. This gathering celebrates friendships and making right relationships.

Propitiation of cementation ceremony or Atohuna

cherokee-ceremoniesCelebrated 10 days after the New Moon Ceremony, this symbolizes the unity between man and the great spirit. Relationships are renewed and each vow to regard one another as they would themselves. This is the time to reconcile any disagreements and forgive one another.

Men exchange garments with one another to symbolize eternal friendships. The yowah chant is sang and seven selected men cleansed the council house by beating the roof with sticks made of sycamore. There is a sense of universal love and commitment to each other as a tribe.

Bounding Bush Ceremony or Elawatalegi

A thanksgiving to the Spirits for the blessings of abundance. A cleansing ritual is done near running water. The sacred fire is rekindled. Everyone gathers around and tosses a handful of tobacco into the fire. This ceremony lasts four days and is the last before the winter sets in. It is done in preparation of surviving the hardships of cold months.

Uku dance ceremony

The Uku or Ouga is the Cherokee word for chief. Every seven years, the principal chief is carried to the sacred circle and acknowledged. New clothing is given to the Uku and dances are done in his honour. This is usually held in the wintertime.

These festivals together make up the Cherokee yearly religious cycle, many of which are still observed by the various clans today. Sharing stories, feasting and dancing are all an integral part of the community of the tribe. It is important to remember and honour the traditions of the elders. By doing so, we essentially connect with ourselves and our heritage.

Image source
Honoring mother earth
Sacred moon
Cherokee stories
Stomp dance – Marcine Quenzer

3 Timelines On A Multi-Dimensional Reality And How To Access Them

One sign you may be reaching up intuitively from 3D into 4, or even 5D as the shifts in energy intensify in to the New Year, is that you are beginning to change and manipulate your own timelines. Healing the past may have evolved for you; you no longer have the desire to leave the past behind but the understanding that it is within your power to change your past.

Now this is quite a bold statement; one which could easily be misunderstood either in a literal interpretation, or brushed off as impossibility. But as our evolution meets a new wave of possibilities – one which we are co-creating with every thought and intention we have – the cleansing and dissipation of those old patterns need to be resolved.

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